Time Apart

We love Kiki and Jay, but sometimes they make Madi's life difficult.  Now, please understand, Madi is a very easy-going kid, loves everyone, and thinks everyone loves her.  So when someone makes her cry because they are mean to her, it has to be a pretty severe offense.  And they have made her cry very often.  A few weeks ago Madi said to me, Mommy, I love Kiki and Jay, but they hurt my heart sometimes and  make boo boos on it when they say mean stuff to me.  She is really struggling becuase she wants lots of siblings, but doesnt understand why they dont seem to feel the same about her.  We have tried to explain how sometimes kids in foster care are too scared to let anyone in.  To love anyone else becuase they might get taken away.  And also, it seems that Jay and Kiki's mom never encouraged sibling love... so they dont even treat each other nicely.  They also make it difficult for Madi to have mommy and daddy time becuase they make fun of her and call her a baby when she wants to spend time with us.  And they have almost no desire to spend time with us... unless we take them out... like bowling or something (and that gets expensive quick).  They dont want to have devotional time, tho we make them stay for part of it, they dont want to particpiate in family worship... and lately they dont want to play games with us, even hide and go seek.  They are really pulling away... which hurts us all.  Madi has been begging to stay up even 5 extra mins just to get to sit quietly with us.  It seems that every time she tries to sit with us or talk with us, one of them comes to whatever room we are in and makes it impossible to talk to her... sometimes they even do something specifically wrong to gain the negative attention...   Needless to say, despite how great she is doing, she is really struggling with them.  They almost never include her in their activities...  despite us asking nicely and trying to help them understand what its like to be nice to each other and how it hurts when they arent.   We try to treat them all the same, but the way the other two push us away its sooo hard.  We are struggling too.
So we made the decision to send them on a respite for the weekend.  It wasnt an easy decision... we dont do respites.  But, for Madi's sake, we are doing it.  We found a really great family and I think they will have a lot of fun.  They are my mom's age, and they really love to spend time with Mimi... so I'm hoping that helps.
When we told Madi about it, she said she will miss them, but she said she is glad to have mommy and daddy time. 
When we had Dee Dee and Bubba, we all had family time together.  We enjoyed being together and doing things as a family.  Madi could play with her sibling and her parents at the same time, so she had ample mommy daddy time.  This is just a different dynamic, its hard for us all.
I feel guilty about sending them away.  But I have to beleive that for Madi, this was very needed.  Pray for them, that they would understand we still love them... that this isnt punishment, and that they would have a fun and enjoyable time.  Oh... and that they would be NICE to the foster family.  Kiki is very often very rude, mean, and offputting.  Its a defense mechanism that she uses very often.... and Jay does whatever Kiki does.