Me and the girls were invited to see the new Miley Cyrus movie on Friday. We dont let the kids watch stuff like Hannah Montannah on the Disney channel, or see movies that have anything about young kids having dating relationship. Its a choice we feel is neccessary, especially with the backgrounds they come with.
So when this lovely friend, who is going through a tough spot invited us, I really wanted to say yes, just becuase I want to be a friend to her. And I know her girls need friends like Madi who will encourage the heck out of em! I also didnt want to say that we dont watch that type of movies... I didnt want to offend her. She is a Christian... I know she loves the Lord and is doing a good job with her gorgeous girls, but becuase of her life circumstances right now, I didnt want to make her feel bad. So I skirted around it.. and I never had to say that we dont watch that stuff.
Now, Im wondering why I didnt say it? Her girls need to learn that the only relationship they need is the one they have with God, becuase in His timing, they will find the man for them... not by dating tons of guys. (oh, I dont actually know what this movie is about, but its based on a romance novel, so I'm assuming). Maybe God wanted me to be the catalyst for this woman to start thinking about the garbage she is allowing entrance into her girls hearts? Maybe I was supposed to just be honest with her. Who knows. God does.. so I'm praying for another chance if I'm supposed to have it.
On another note about this whole thing, is the fact that I almost said yes. That I almost thought, "One movie wont hurt"! No, maybe not, but its setting a precedence. Its saying, well, its ok sometimes to watch things that our concience (i.e. GOD) is saying isnt good for us. Its telling them, its ok to bend the rules. To do what we want, not what we are supposed to do.
Im not saying that everyone reading this is supposed to follow the same plan.. that is truly 100% between you, God, and your family. Mike and I beleive that we are to protect our kids hearts, while being honest and straightforward with them about dating and relationships and the "real" world. I dont want my kids to learn about dating from Miley Cyrus. Or about drugs from a song. Or sex from a movie. Those are important things that I want to teach them about. So we are very careful about what they watch. We monitor the shows the watch, and we really only ever listen to "Christian music". And for that matter, we monitor the amount of tv and movies they watch... a lot. Becuase we feel its important. We feel that this is how God is asking us to raise our children. How He wants HIS babies raised. His. Cause they all are His. So, yeah,I consult Him when it comes to what I do for my children. :o) Well, HIS children!! :o)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Praise & Prayer!
I wanted to first say, Thanks for the prayers!! My hands are 100%, but they arent bothering me the way that they were... so I have been able to play piano and even type some longer emails to family across the country. Yay, PRAISE GOD! :o)
Now the little lady needs some prayers. For the past week she has been a bit under the weather, but with Madi, you hardly even know that she is sick. She doesnt bother to tell you when she is sick sometimes, becuase she is simply to busy living life. The only time we ever really hear about a symptom is at night when she doesnt want to go to bed... smart kid. Lol. But the past week, she has had a host of symptoms, all at different times, coming and going at odd times.
Last night she woke up in the middle of the night (1 am actually.. ugh, :o), with an ear ache. She was very upset and crying a lot, so we gave her some asprin and some lovies and sent her back to bed. This morning, Mike let me sleep in and said she was fine. But when she got home, she was acting weird and we couldnt get her to focus on homework and she threw a small fit over a pencil. So I asked her if she took her pill. Yes. Ok, did you throw up? Yes. Ok.... when? When I got off the bus. Did you tell anyone? Nope. Grrr. Love the kid, but she threw up on the sidewalk, and went in the school and ate breakfast like nothing happened. So then this afternoon, after being in the care for less the 5 mins, she threw up just a little bit. Then when we got home, she threw up a lot. Then she was fine.... she wanted to eat. She has also had a sore throat off an on, and has been snotty and congested.
I'm a pretty even keel sorta mom. We dont rush to the doctor for stuff... in fact we hardly ever go. But this has me worried. I figure that for every symptom she tells us about, she probably experiences 4 that she "forgets" to tell us about. And ya know that whole "mother knows best" and "mother's instinct" thing? I beleive God has given natural and adoptive mommas these instincts. And my gut tells me there is something more to this than just a simple cold or virus.
So, please pray for my baby! Thanks!! :o)
Now the little lady needs some prayers. For the past week she has been a bit under the weather, but with Madi, you hardly even know that she is sick. She doesnt bother to tell you when she is sick sometimes, becuase she is simply to busy living life. The only time we ever really hear about a symptom is at night when she doesnt want to go to bed... smart kid. Lol. But the past week, she has had a host of symptoms, all at different times, coming and going at odd times.
Last night she woke up in the middle of the night (1 am actually.. ugh, :o), with an ear ache. She was very upset and crying a lot, so we gave her some asprin and some lovies and sent her back to bed. This morning, Mike let me sleep in and said she was fine. But when she got home, she was acting weird and we couldnt get her to focus on homework and she threw a small fit over a pencil. So I asked her if she took her pill. Yes. Ok, did you throw up? Yes. Ok.... when? When I got off the bus. Did you tell anyone? Nope. Grrr. Love the kid, but she threw up on the sidewalk, and went in the school and ate breakfast like nothing happened. So then this afternoon, after being in the care for less the 5 mins, she threw up just a little bit. Then when we got home, she threw up a lot. Then she was fine.... she wanted to eat. She has also had a sore throat off an on, and has been snotty and congested.
I'm a pretty even keel sorta mom. We dont rush to the doctor for stuff... in fact we hardly ever go. But this has me worried. I figure that for every symptom she tells us about, she probably experiences 4 that she "forgets" to tell us about. And ya know that whole "mother knows best" and "mother's instinct" thing? I beleive God has given natural and adoptive mommas these instincts. And my gut tells me there is something more to this than just a simple cold or virus.
So, please pray for my baby! Thanks!! :o)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
What a Great Weekend!!
We truly had a blessed weekend!! Madi's adoption party was on Saturday afternoon... and it was amazing! We had about 30 people stuffed into our house, and the ages ranged from 2 weeks old, all the way up to 89!! Madi came up to me when I was pouring some drinks and said "Mommy, these people are all here for me, right?"
And I said, "Yes, of course, its your party to celebrate YOU".
Then with shining eyes and huge smile, she said "I must really be loved".
Oh, baby girl, you are. You truly are!!!
She recieved lots of awesome presents. Mimi (my momma) gave Madi her very first "big girl ring", a beautiful white gold ring with 2 hearts and 2 tiny diamonds. Mimi said it was becuase Madi has her grandma's heart!!
My aunts, Barb & Sis, got her a gorgeous cross necklace with stones the color of her birthstone (emerald), and Madi thought it was awesome, becuase she had been wanting a cross badly! (She had recieved a cheap little plastic heart necklace from her birth mom when they were still having visits, and she threw it away one day becuase she said it made her think of bad times.)
We got her a photo book about her adoption... which she LOVED, and had everyone special to her sign it. We also got her a beautiful jewelry box carved with her new name and adoption date on it, and when you open it, it plays My Girl. :o)
Her Nana, Pap Pap, and Aunt Shell gave her money to start her very own savings account (yay for teaching her about saving!!)
She also got lots of cute little toys, some other little peices of fun jewelry, coloring books, and of COURSE, Littlest Pet Shop stuff!! Her very awesome friend from school and church gave her a handmade fleece blanket with this AWESOME butterfly print on it... it rocked.
One of the things that touched Madi so much was the fact that 2 teachers from school came to her party. She just couldnt believe that they loved her that much that they would come... and even brought her presents!
For Mike and I, it was pretty stinkin' awesome to see all of our friends and family there to show this kid love, to show that they supported us as a family, and to show us that they CARED. It lifted my spirits, and blessed my heart a LOT.
And I said, "Yes, of course, its your party to celebrate YOU".
Then with shining eyes and huge smile, she said "I must really be loved".
Oh, baby girl, you are. You truly are!!!
She recieved lots of awesome presents. Mimi (my momma) gave Madi her very first "big girl ring", a beautiful white gold ring with 2 hearts and 2 tiny diamonds. Mimi said it was becuase Madi has her grandma's heart!!
My aunts, Barb & Sis, got her a gorgeous cross necklace with stones the color of her birthstone (emerald), and Madi thought it was awesome, becuase she had been wanting a cross badly! (She had recieved a cheap little plastic heart necklace from her birth mom when they were still having visits, and she threw it away one day becuase she said it made her think of bad times.)
We got her a photo book about her adoption... which she LOVED, and had everyone special to her sign it. We also got her a beautiful jewelry box carved with her new name and adoption date on it, and when you open it, it plays My Girl. :o)
Her Nana, Pap Pap, and Aunt Shell gave her money to start her very own savings account (yay for teaching her about saving!!)
She also got lots of cute little toys, some other little peices of fun jewelry, coloring books, and of COURSE, Littlest Pet Shop stuff!! Her very awesome friend from school and church gave her a handmade fleece blanket with this AWESOME butterfly print on it... it rocked.
One of the things that touched Madi so much was the fact that 2 teachers from school came to her party. She just couldnt believe that they loved her that much that they would come... and even brought her presents!
For Mike and I, it was pretty stinkin' awesome to see all of our friends and family there to show this kid love, to show that they supported us as a family, and to show us that they CARED. It lifted my spirits, and blessed my heart a LOT.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Crazy!!
After reading Linny's blog I decided to read the blogs that posted their links. It really stirred me into wanting to help. Then I felt like God was nudging me to post one too. That maybe its time for me to stop all my yakking about how I am wanting God to help us, and actually start BELIEVING that He will. So... I guess, here is my fleece???!?
We need a van. My awesome momma has been allowing us to use her car so we have 2 available for all the appts and whatnot the kids have. But we are beleiveing for another child or two to come to us through foster care, and in order to drive them around, we will need a van, or always use two cars. Plus, I just want to give my mom her car back. She has been amazing and its been a blessing, but I want to honor her by giving it back sooner, rather than later.
Bottom line, we want to bless more kids. Love on more kids, and we cant really do that in our current situation. We really do live paycheck to paycheck... and we havent been able to save for a long time. But God rocks and has been faithful to us!!
We attend The Worship Center, but we just started going there as of January.. so we arent very involved yet! But I did just join the choir, and we are thinking of joining a group called Alpha. Before going to the worship center, we were the worship directors at a small church, which we left becuase we felt we needed a place for our kids... and this small church didnt have any kids programs (they didnt have many kids at all, actually!!) But God blessed our time there and we loved it!!
And the tithing part. We havent been. Yeah, its hard to admit that, and I could come up with a million excuses... but none of them matter. I am going to be tithing this Sunday... and we have re-committed to doing it again, every paycheck, no matter what. We used to. I dont know when or why we stopped, but we did. But God is faithful and just and I have taken this to Him and asked for forgiveness, as did Mike, and we feel like a load has been lifted. And now we can teach our kids to tithe as well... out of example.
My email is musicallipink@gmail.com
Thanks for reading, and I can't wait to read all the miracle stories that come out of this Crazy Love Party!!!
We need a van. My awesome momma has been allowing us to use her car so we have 2 available for all the appts and whatnot the kids have. But we are beleiveing for another child or two to come to us through foster care, and in order to drive them around, we will need a van, or always use two cars. Plus, I just want to give my mom her car back. She has been amazing and its been a blessing, but I want to honor her by giving it back sooner, rather than later.
Bottom line, we want to bless more kids. Love on more kids, and we cant really do that in our current situation. We really do live paycheck to paycheck... and we havent been able to save for a long time. But God rocks and has been faithful to us!!
We attend The Worship Center, but we just started going there as of January.. so we arent very involved yet! But I did just join the choir, and we are thinking of joining a group called Alpha. Before going to the worship center, we were the worship directors at a small church, which we left becuase we felt we needed a place for our kids... and this small church didnt have any kids programs (they didnt have many kids at all, actually!!) But God blessed our time there and we loved it!!
And the tithing part. We havent been. Yeah, its hard to admit that, and I could come up with a million excuses... but none of them matter. I am going to be tithing this Sunday... and we have re-committed to doing it again, every paycheck, no matter what. We used to. I dont know when or why we stopped, but we did. But God is faithful and just and I have taken this to Him and asked for forgiveness, as did Mike, and we feel like a load has been lifted. And now we can teach our kids to tithe as well... out of example.
My email is musicallipink@gmail.com
Thanks for reading, and I can't wait to read all the miracle stories that come out of this Crazy Love Party!!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Just a little pray request...
My Rhuematoid Arthritis has been acting up lately. But not in its normal way. I have had a LOT of pain in my hand and finger joints. No fun. Its been hard to type and even harder to play piano. I am missing my piano time.. but I have been trying to do other chores first and if my hands can stand it, then I play. Most days... I dont play.
Just praying for healing. :o)
Just praying for healing. :o)
I love that the God who loves me, loves to heal me...
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Potpourri
I have a ton of stuff floating around in my brain... so this will be a potpourri blog post! :o)
Big families... I want one. I want lots of kids running around here. Helping each other, loving each other, teasing... haha, even fighting with each other!! We got 2 referrals in 2 days for our agency.. and we said YES to both. Now we wait. Praying that God would send us the kids he wants. 1 referral was for a 6 month old baby who's legs had been broken and his ear was hurt so bad, he had to have surgery on it. The other referral was for a 1 yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy who parents can't pass their dr*g screen. I'm hoping we get one one of the referrals... but I'm putting it all in God's hands.
This past weekend, we did a respite for a 3 yr old boy and his 4 y old sister. They were very cute kids! When I agreed to do it, I was thinking I was insane. Yes, we want a big family, but to go from 3 kids who are very self sufficient to 5 kids, two being little ones, thats a BIG change. But the weekend went great! We had fun...the older kids really enjoyed having them and being "big sisters". Madi even asked me when we are going to get some to "keep". :o)
So back to the wanting of a big family. Big families need big homes. Ok, well, bigger than we have. We have 3 bedrooms, and that means we could have about 6 kids here... but it would be so crowded. We live in a townhouse that doesnt have a finished basement, so the only "common" areas are a kitchen/dining room combo, and a living room.... and both areas arent that big! Dont get me wrong... I am very very thankful to have a house. Its a nice neighborhood, and our community has a pool and fitness center, so we are very thankful. But I can't help but pray for a bigger house. It doesnt have to be as nice... just more bedrooms. More space for little kids to run and play. A yard.
Our church is doing a lot of things to help Haiti. Building houses for people, sending down teams to help, sending food, money, etc. But this weekend, they started a new campaign. There is a pastor down their that has 2,500 people camping in his backyard in a makeshift tent city. Very makeshift. So our church started a campaign to buy real tents for the people down there. I think it was about $120 to buy a tent, and they are pretty nice tents!! They set one up at the church, they look big enough for a family to sleep in, and I can't imagine trying to take care of a family in a tent city without some privacy. Even though a tent isnt a real home, I would think it would be a welcome shelter after months of tarps and strings and peices of fallen trees as your only protection from the elements.
http://www.worshipcenter.org/index.cfm is the link to our church. You can find info about the houses they are building for Haiti as well as the tents there!
Last thing... My best friend and her husband and 2 kids came from Illinois to visit this week, and we all had such a nice time just chatting and relaxing, and playing with the kids. I just wanted to thank God for such a wonderful and steadfast friend. We have been friends since my middle school years, and I am so blessed to have her. God rocks! :o)
Big families... I want one. I want lots of kids running around here. Helping each other, loving each other, teasing... haha, even fighting with each other!! We got 2 referrals in 2 days for our agency.. and we said YES to both. Now we wait. Praying that God would send us the kids he wants. 1 referral was for a 6 month old baby who's legs had been broken and his ear was hurt so bad, he had to have surgery on it. The other referral was for a 1 yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy who parents can't pass their dr*g screen. I'm hoping we get one one of the referrals... but I'm putting it all in God's hands.
This past weekend, we did a respite for a 3 yr old boy and his 4 y old sister. They were very cute kids! When I agreed to do it, I was thinking I was insane. Yes, we want a big family, but to go from 3 kids who are very self sufficient to 5 kids, two being little ones, thats a BIG change. But the weekend went great! We had fun...the older kids really enjoyed having them and being "big sisters". Madi even asked me when we are going to get some to "keep". :o)
So back to the wanting of a big family. Big families need big homes. Ok, well, bigger than we have. We have 3 bedrooms, and that means we could have about 6 kids here... but it would be so crowded. We live in a townhouse that doesnt have a finished basement, so the only "common" areas are a kitchen/dining room combo, and a living room.... and both areas arent that big! Dont get me wrong... I am very very thankful to have a house. Its a nice neighborhood, and our community has a pool and fitness center, so we are very thankful. But I can't help but pray for a bigger house. It doesnt have to be as nice... just more bedrooms. More space for little kids to run and play. A yard.
Our church is doing a lot of things to help Haiti. Building houses for people, sending down teams to help, sending food, money, etc. But this weekend, they started a new campaign. There is a pastor down their that has 2,500 people camping in his backyard in a makeshift tent city. Very makeshift. So our church started a campaign to buy real tents for the people down there. I think it was about $120 to buy a tent, and they are pretty nice tents!! They set one up at the church, they look big enough for a family to sleep in, and I can't imagine trying to take care of a family in a tent city without some privacy. Even though a tent isnt a real home, I would think it would be a welcome shelter after months of tarps and strings and peices of fallen trees as your only protection from the elements.
http://www.worshipcenter.org/index.cfm is the link to our church. You can find info about the houses they are building for Haiti as well as the tents there!
Last thing... My best friend and her husband and 2 kids came from Illinois to visit this week, and we all had such a nice time just chatting and relaxing, and playing with the kids. I just wanted to thank God for such a wonderful and steadfast friend. We have been friends since my middle school years, and I am so blessed to have her. God rocks! :o)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thankful Thursday
Two bloggy friends posted blogs on being thankful. I really needed to be reminded that I have TONS to be thankful for. Even in the midst of feeling poopy... I have TONS to thank God for. I am so very blessed.
“Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward the life that God intended for you with grace, strength, courage, and confidence.”
I am so very blessed. Did I mention that? I am. I need to count my blessings so that I can realize my worth in Christ. I think that when we count them, it can dispell the grey murky clouds that keep up us from the sun (Son!!). So I'm countin'.
I'm Thankful For:
Living in America. 'Nuf said.
I have a house with carpets, furniture, a fridge, a piano, beds, heat and A/C.
Mike has a stable job with pretty awesome benefits.
I get to have a super cool job.... being a mom!
My dog rocks.
My daughter is my favorite kid I have ever met.
My foster kids are pretty awesome.
We have a working vehicle.
My mom is so awesome she is letting us borrow her car so we have 2 cars.
The public library is right down the road and I get free books to read, free movies for the kids, and they have VEGGIE TALES and Oddesey (or however you spell it)!
I have some pretty amazing family members.
My friends are cool too.
We have running water.
Toilets.
Electricity.
Peace, Joy, Love, Grace & Mercy.
See... I am totally blessed.... and I feel better already. Seriously... I do feel a little bit better. Its not a cure-all... but I know that I know that I know... that God is with me. God LOVES me... He is watching and He cares about me.
I have decided that instead of looking for ways I need God to bless me... I'm going to look for ways that God can USE me to bless OTHERS.
So, count with me... what are you thankful for??
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Judges.
Ok... so I said I would share my rant about Judges.
Here goes:
When we had Dee Dee and Bubba, they had Judge... I'll call him Judge A.. and Guardian Ad Litum ummm.... we shall call her GAL. Judge A and Gal decided that Dee Dee was a liar and couldnt be trusted and simply wasnt competent enough to tell people about the horror she endured. SOOOO Judge A and Gal decided to send Bubba back to his parents... a little 2 yr old boy who couldn't tell anyone if people committed those same horrors to him. The caseworkers were all so confused and simply couldnt understand why Gal and Judge A were so blind to the potential abuse awaiting Bubba at home. 3 months later.... Bubba is still home and Dee Dee is still saying the EXACT same thing. Saying the EXACT same thing happened. Her story hasnt changed. She tells EVERYONE about it. She says what happened, who did it, and how she is scared of her parents because of it. And Bubba is still there. Bubba is possibly facing the same horrors she talks about everyday. Needless to say (but I must say it)... I supremely dislike this judge and guardian. I pray for them a lot, but I dislike them.
Last week, after Jay and Kiki's mom's court date, our awesome caseworker (that was not sarcastic... she really is cool... I like her a lot!!) told me that they have the same judge and guardian. N.I.C.E.
Ok... so the best part. Judge A and Gal decided that these 2 kids (well, 3 counting their brother J.) who had never been abused... never beaten or anything else... only lived in a dirty, trash-filled house couldnt go back with their mom... while a little boy whose sister had suffered the worse kind of abuse went home to the abusers. (please understand, I dont beleive its in Jay and Kiki's best interests to go home now... mom needs some parenting lessons first... I'm just venting at how totally insane it is that Bubba is home and they are trying to get Dee Dee home.. while allowing kids who have never been abused to stay in foster care.)
Am I the only one who sees the total insanity of Judge A and Gal???
Will you pray along with us for Bubba and Dee Dee??? (Dee is doing great with her foster family... we may be able to see her in 2 weeks... and I'm super excited!)
Bubba NEEDS to be removed from that home. I know God has him... but when I think about him and what he may be enduring, my heart breaks. Anytime I hear of a child suffering like that, it hurts so bad, but having known and held this little boy... its real. I still have things of his... believing he will come back into care. I have to keep that hope alive. I have to believe that Bubba will be redeemed. (see the quote on the blog post below)
Pray with us. Please. Pray for my little man. Pray for the hearts of people who seem blind to Dee Dee's cry for help. I believe her spirit is crying out for someone to help Bubba too. Pray for Dee... that she would have peace and for her to know she did all she could and her telling the truth was so brave!!
I miss Bubba so much. I miss his crooked smile...his cute dances... his happy heart. I feel like a peice of my heart is missing becuase he is gone. I look around at my girls and think how happy, clean, healthy, well-fed, and cared for they are... and I realize that it is more than likely Bubba isnt recieveing the same. And oh how that hurts. I feel so incredibly helpless!!!
Here goes:
When we had Dee Dee and Bubba, they had Judge... I'll call him Judge A.. and Guardian Ad Litum ummm.... we shall call her GAL. Judge A and Gal decided that Dee Dee was a liar and couldnt be trusted and simply wasnt competent enough to tell people about the horror she endured. SOOOO Judge A and Gal decided to send Bubba back to his parents... a little 2 yr old boy who couldn't tell anyone if people committed those same horrors to him. The caseworkers were all so confused and simply couldnt understand why Gal and Judge A were so blind to the potential abuse awaiting Bubba at home. 3 months later.... Bubba is still home and Dee Dee is still saying the EXACT same thing. Saying the EXACT same thing happened. Her story hasnt changed. She tells EVERYONE about it. She says what happened, who did it, and how she is scared of her parents because of it. And Bubba is still there. Bubba is possibly facing the same horrors she talks about everyday. Needless to say (but I must say it)... I supremely dislike this judge and guardian. I pray for them a lot, but I dislike them.
Last week, after Jay and Kiki's mom's court date, our awesome caseworker (that was not sarcastic... she really is cool... I like her a lot!!) told me that they have the same judge and guardian. N.I.C.E.
Ok... so the best part. Judge A and Gal decided that these 2 kids (well, 3 counting their brother J.) who had never been abused... never beaten or anything else... only lived in a dirty, trash-filled house couldnt go back with their mom... while a little boy whose sister had suffered the worse kind of abuse went home to the abusers. (please understand, I dont beleive its in Jay and Kiki's best interests to go home now... mom needs some parenting lessons first... I'm just venting at how totally insane it is that Bubba is home and they are trying to get Dee Dee home.. while allowing kids who have never been abused to stay in foster care.)
Am I the only one who sees the total insanity of Judge A and Gal???
Will you pray along with us for Bubba and Dee Dee??? (Dee is doing great with her foster family... we may be able to see her in 2 weeks... and I'm super excited!)
Bubba NEEDS to be removed from that home. I know God has him... but when I think about him and what he may be enduring, my heart breaks. Anytime I hear of a child suffering like that, it hurts so bad, but having known and held this little boy... its real. I still have things of his... believing he will come back into care. I have to keep that hope alive. I have to believe that Bubba will be redeemed. (see the quote on the blog post below)
Pray with us. Please. Pray for my little man. Pray for the hearts of people who seem blind to Dee Dee's cry for help. I believe her spirit is crying out for someone to help Bubba too. Pray for Dee... that she would have peace and for her to know she did all she could and her telling the truth was so brave!!
I miss Bubba so much. I miss his crooked smile...his cute dances... his happy heart. I feel like a peice of my heart is missing becuase he is gone. I look around at my girls and think how happy, clean, healthy, well-fed, and cared for they are... and I realize that it is more than likely Bubba isnt recieveing the same. And oh how that hurts. I feel so incredibly helpless!!!
Adoption Is Redemption.
"My friends, adoption is redemption.
It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous.
Buying back lives costs so much.
When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him."
Derek Loux
It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous.
Buying back lives costs so much.
When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him."
Derek Loux
Monday, March 15, 2010
Life
The girls came home yesterday... and within 20 mins, Madi was whispering in my ear asking when they could go back. Kiki was sooooo hyper and strange and was talking and making weird noises non-stop. Jay was hyper as well and they were back to being rude to each other. We had been working with them to be nice to each other and other people... like us and Madi, but it seemed they had forgotten all about that.
The plus... they had a really great time!! There were a lot of kids, a lot of toys, and a fun church. Jay wants to go back next weekend, Kiki said she wants to go back in a few weeks. So that made me feel a LOT better about sending them.
Then today.... Kiki made me so very angry. I spent time and money finding her some used, but new looking soccer cleats, and shin guards, not to mention practice clothing for her soccer tryouts today. At 12 I beleive if she desires to do something, I will help her have the materials and equipment needed, but she needs to take the responsibility to get me information, papers that I need to sign etc. So today, she forgot one of the papers that she needs to tryout. I took it to her. Oh, I asked her everyday last week to find out when tryouts were over so I could come get her. She never did, so I called to find out. She said she went to the office to check... but the office said she never came, becuase if she had they would have given her a paper about it. THEN she got on the wrong bus and was taken to TRACK tryouts... and instead of asking to call me to come get her to take her to the soccor tryouts, she sat there for 2 hours. Then called and asked to be taken... after it was to late. THEN (favorite part) she blamed it on the coach, the office, and ME. Pshhh. Nope... dont go there. I did all I could. She had such an attitude. And then Mike had already planned to sit down with her about her grades... she is not doing so hot. Not failing, but not good either. She told Mike the teachers didnt like her, didnt help her, gave her bad grades on purpose, AND the one teacher apparantly didnt give her the information she needed to pass her test. BIG FAT SIGH. She clearly beleives that. She takes no resposibilty for any of her activities. Instead of asking which bus to get on, she just picks on and its the offices fault that its the wrong one. Instead of asking to use the phone to call me, she sits there like a bump on a log and blames the coach for not telling her to call us. Instead of saying to herself, I should have asked the office like I was supposed to LAST WEEK, she blamed me for not getting the info for her. And instead of owning up to the fact that she hasnt been studying, she says the teacher wants her to fail.
I had to ask myself tonight, what was I thinking when I agreed to take in a teenager. Mike and I had always said we didnt want anyone older than Madi, and then, in our sadness, agreed to take the first set of kids that we were presented with. I know God has a purpose in them being here... for us and them. But, I am feeling like I am just not the momma for them. So we are just praying about what to do. I know that we will NOT move them during the school year....that would be so wrong for them. I really dont beleive we are to adopt them. All the praying I have been doing (and its been a lot), I think that God has another family for them, if they end up being adopted... which seems more and more likely lately. SO pray with us. I dont want to do what I think is best, I want to do what God thinks is best. Even if it is uncomfortable, or doesnt make a normal family picture, if its God, I want to do it.
My brain is so full... my heart is heavy, and I am feeling stressed and maybe even depressed... which is something i have really not ever felt before. Life is feeling so hard and heavy. It feels like it takes 3 times the effort to do something than it did a month ago. Jesus, take this heaviness. Make my heart light, and give me my joy back in YOU! I need it. I want it. I choose life everyday. I choose to try to be happy everyday... but lately its be hard to feel what I am claiming... so I just need some help. Prayers. Love. Hope. Ya know... the usual!
The plus... they had a really great time!! There were a lot of kids, a lot of toys, and a fun church. Jay wants to go back next weekend, Kiki said she wants to go back in a few weeks. So that made me feel a LOT better about sending them.
Then today.... Kiki made me so very angry. I spent time and money finding her some used, but new looking soccer cleats, and shin guards, not to mention practice clothing for her soccer tryouts today. At 12 I beleive if she desires to do something, I will help her have the materials and equipment needed, but she needs to take the responsibility to get me information, papers that I need to sign etc. So today, she forgot one of the papers that she needs to tryout. I took it to her. Oh, I asked her everyday last week to find out when tryouts were over so I could come get her. She never did, so I called to find out. She said she went to the office to check... but the office said she never came, becuase if she had they would have given her a paper about it. THEN she got on the wrong bus and was taken to TRACK tryouts... and instead of asking to call me to come get her to take her to the soccor tryouts, she sat there for 2 hours. Then called and asked to be taken... after it was to late. THEN (favorite part) she blamed it on the coach, the office, and ME. Pshhh. Nope... dont go there. I did all I could. She had such an attitude. And then Mike had already planned to sit down with her about her grades... she is not doing so hot. Not failing, but not good either. She told Mike the teachers didnt like her, didnt help her, gave her bad grades on purpose, AND the one teacher apparantly didnt give her the information she needed to pass her test. BIG FAT SIGH. She clearly beleives that. She takes no resposibilty for any of her activities. Instead of asking which bus to get on, she just picks on and its the offices fault that its the wrong one. Instead of asking to use the phone to call me, she sits there like a bump on a log and blames the coach for not telling her to call us. Instead of saying to herself, I should have asked the office like I was supposed to LAST WEEK, she blamed me for not getting the info for her. And instead of owning up to the fact that she hasnt been studying, she says the teacher wants her to fail.
I had to ask myself tonight, what was I thinking when I agreed to take in a teenager. Mike and I had always said we didnt want anyone older than Madi, and then, in our sadness, agreed to take the first set of kids that we were presented with. I know God has a purpose in them being here... for us and them. But, I am feeling like I am just not the momma for them. So we are just praying about what to do. I know that we will NOT move them during the school year....that would be so wrong for them. I really dont beleive we are to adopt them. All the praying I have been doing (and its been a lot), I think that God has another family for them, if they end up being adopted... which seems more and more likely lately. SO pray with us. I dont want to do what I think is best, I want to do what God thinks is best. Even if it is uncomfortable, or doesnt make a normal family picture, if its God, I want to do it.
My brain is so full... my heart is heavy, and I am feeling stressed and maybe even depressed... which is something i have really not ever felt before. Life is feeling so hard and heavy. It feels like it takes 3 times the effort to do something than it did a month ago. Jesus, take this heaviness. Make my heart light, and give me my joy back in YOU! I need it. I want it. I choose life everyday. I choose to try to be happy everyday... but lately its be hard to feel what I am claiming... so I just need some help. Prayers. Love. Hope. Ya know... the usual!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Lots to tell...
The girls are at their respite home. The mom seemed nice... and they were respiting another little girl who was 6, and seemed like someone Kiki would love to "big sister", and someone Jay would enjoy playing with.
Jay had her excited face on the outside, but I could tell there was a bit of anxiety on the surface. Kiki was just downright unhappy and nervous. My hope is to set up regular respites with the same family so that they can be comfortable there and we can send them there knowing they are settled, happy, and feel a little bit at home.
Today Madi started a new dosage of her medicine.. and it wasnt a good transition. She was more unfocused, and more distracted than she has been, but I'm hoping its just the change in dosage. If she is like this for 4 days, then we are either going back to the old dosage or trying a new med. I was soooo happy with the change in her with the first level, I was hoping this change wold be the icing on the cake... but we cant win all the time! :o)
Yesterday I finially got a hold of Jay's teacher, and we are both about 99% sure she has ADD, or as the new DSM names it, ADHD- predominantly inattentive. I didnt really know much about it, but its like ADHD, only without the hyper activity, and is marked by a total lack of attention. Basically every criteria for it, Jay meets to the fullest extent. I was amazed. Shes not crazy hyper like Madi, she doesnt move around constantly, she sleeps a lot, likes naps, and can come across lazy. Madi, in those regards is the exact opposite!! Its amazing to look at these 2 kids and see how different they are... but they have the same disorder. I talked to her counselor, but he is more the "feeling" type and wants to explore her feelings more. He seems to think its just becuase she is a foster kid and is going through all this stuff. Kiki says she always been like this. I believe the issue is exacerbated by the foster kid stuff, but the adhd has been there for a while. Basically she is failing 3rd grade. So this needs to be fixed NOW... not AFTER we sort out her feelings. So I am pushing for a psych eval, like yesterday. She needs to be put on meds asap. My hope is to get her settled on some meds, and then, if she is still here over the summer, to try the diet remedies and stuff like that.
On that front... the girls mom had court on thursday, and the judge approved the permanacy plan... which basically means, that mom has to start meeting certain criteria. The next court date isnt until May, so she has a good chunk of time to really work on getting her stuff together. My fear is that they will end up having parental rights terminated because mom is enjoying not being mom! She is in her late 30s, and has been a mom since she was in her teens.... so it seems now that she isnt "mom" she is living the life she would have in her 20s. She got her tongue peirced and isn't working, and is moving around and has a new "boyfriend". I am worried for her.
Thats it for now... I have lots more to share. I got Kiki's progress report today... yikes! And I have to vent about the judge. And I'll have to share more about the fun we are going to have with Madi this weekend! :o) So stayed tuned... and keep praying for the girls!!!
Jay had her excited face on the outside, but I could tell there was a bit of anxiety on the surface. Kiki was just downright unhappy and nervous. My hope is to set up regular respites with the same family so that they can be comfortable there and we can send them there knowing they are settled, happy, and feel a little bit at home.
Today Madi started a new dosage of her medicine.. and it wasnt a good transition. She was more unfocused, and more distracted than she has been, but I'm hoping its just the change in dosage. If she is like this for 4 days, then we are either going back to the old dosage or trying a new med. I was soooo happy with the change in her with the first level, I was hoping this change wold be the icing on the cake... but we cant win all the time! :o)
Yesterday I finially got a hold of Jay's teacher, and we are both about 99% sure she has ADD, or as the new DSM names it, ADHD- predominantly inattentive. I didnt really know much about it, but its like ADHD, only without the hyper activity, and is marked by a total lack of attention. Basically every criteria for it, Jay meets to the fullest extent. I was amazed. Shes not crazy hyper like Madi, she doesnt move around constantly, she sleeps a lot, likes naps, and can come across lazy. Madi, in those regards is the exact opposite!! Its amazing to look at these 2 kids and see how different they are... but they have the same disorder. I talked to her counselor, but he is more the "feeling" type and wants to explore her feelings more. He seems to think its just becuase she is a foster kid and is going through all this stuff. Kiki says she always been like this. I believe the issue is exacerbated by the foster kid stuff, but the adhd has been there for a while. Basically she is failing 3rd grade. So this needs to be fixed NOW... not AFTER we sort out her feelings. So I am pushing for a psych eval, like yesterday. She needs to be put on meds asap. My hope is to get her settled on some meds, and then, if she is still here over the summer, to try the diet remedies and stuff like that.
On that front... the girls mom had court on thursday, and the judge approved the permanacy plan... which basically means, that mom has to start meeting certain criteria. The next court date isnt until May, so she has a good chunk of time to really work on getting her stuff together. My fear is that they will end up having parental rights terminated because mom is enjoying not being mom! She is in her late 30s, and has been a mom since she was in her teens.... so it seems now that she isnt "mom" she is living the life she would have in her 20s. She got her tongue peirced and isn't working, and is moving around and has a new "boyfriend". I am worried for her.
Thats it for now... I have lots more to share. I got Kiki's progress report today... yikes! And I have to vent about the judge. And I'll have to share more about the fun we are going to have with Madi this weekend! :o) So stayed tuned... and keep praying for the girls!!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Time Apart
We love Kiki and Jay, but sometimes they make Madi's life difficult. Now, please understand, Madi is a very easy-going kid, loves everyone, and thinks everyone loves her. So when someone makes her cry because they are mean to her, it has to be a pretty severe offense. And they have made her cry very often. A few weeks ago Madi said to me, Mommy, I love Kiki and Jay, but they hurt my heart sometimes and make boo boos on it when they say mean stuff to me. She is really struggling becuase she wants lots of siblings, but doesnt understand why they dont seem to feel the same about her. We have tried to explain how sometimes kids in foster care are too scared to let anyone in. To love anyone else becuase they might get taken away. And also, it seems that Jay and Kiki's mom never encouraged sibling love... so they dont even treat each other nicely. They also make it difficult for Madi to have mommy and daddy time becuase they make fun of her and call her a baby when she wants to spend time with us. And they have almost no desire to spend time with us... unless we take them out... like bowling or something (and that gets expensive quick). They dont want to have devotional time, tho we make them stay for part of it, they dont want to particpiate in family worship... and lately they dont want to play games with us, even hide and go seek. They are really pulling away... which hurts us all. Madi has been begging to stay up even 5 extra mins just to get to sit quietly with us. It seems that every time she tries to sit with us or talk with us, one of them comes to whatever room we are in and makes it impossible to talk to her... sometimes they even do something specifically wrong to gain the negative attention... Needless to say, despite how great she is doing, she is really struggling with them. They almost never include her in their activities... despite us asking nicely and trying to help them understand what its like to be nice to each other and how it hurts when they arent. We try to treat them all the same, but the way the other two push us away its sooo hard. We are struggling too.
So we made the decision to send them on a respite for the weekend. It wasnt an easy decision... we dont do respites. But, for Madi's sake, we are doing it. We found a really great family and I think they will have a lot of fun. They are my mom's age, and they really love to spend time with Mimi... so I'm hoping that helps.
When we told Madi about it, she said she will miss them, but she said she is glad to have mommy and daddy time.
When we had Dee Dee and Bubba, we all had family time together. We enjoyed being together and doing things as a family. Madi could play with her sibling and her parents at the same time, so she had ample mommy daddy time. This is just a different dynamic, its hard for us all.
I feel guilty about sending them away. But I have to beleive that for Madi, this was very needed. Pray for them, that they would understand we still love them... that this isnt punishment, and that they would have a fun and enjoyable time. Oh... and that they would be NICE to the foster family. Kiki is very often very rude, mean, and offputting. Its a defense mechanism that she uses very often.... and Jay does whatever Kiki does.
So we made the decision to send them on a respite for the weekend. It wasnt an easy decision... we dont do respites. But, for Madi's sake, we are doing it. We found a really great family and I think they will have a lot of fun. They are my mom's age, and they really love to spend time with Mimi... so I'm hoping that helps.
When we told Madi about it, she said she will miss them, but she said she is glad to have mommy and daddy time.
When we had Dee Dee and Bubba, we all had family time together. We enjoyed being together and doing things as a family. Madi could play with her sibling and her parents at the same time, so she had ample mommy daddy time. This is just a different dynamic, its hard for us all.
I feel guilty about sending them away. But I have to beleive that for Madi, this was very needed. Pray for them, that they would understand we still love them... that this isnt punishment, and that they would have a fun and enjoyable time. Oh... and that they would be NICE to the foster family. Kiki is very often very rude, mean, and offputting. Its a defense mechanism that she uses very often.... and Jay does whatever Kiki does.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Raindow-Y
Madi and I were looking at pictures on a blog that I read. They have 7 gorgeous kids all adopted. When we were done looking at them, Madi said, "I like that family", and I said me too, they seem pretty cool. But what do you like about them. And she answered "They look happy and they are rainbow-y".
Madison loves to see kids that are adopted. She says most people look at her and cant tell shes adopted becuase she kind of looks like Mike and I. So she thinks other kids who are adopted wont know she is like them, and she wishes they would know becuase it makes her heart happy to see that other kids found forever mommies and daddies like her. She thinks if they knew she was adopted it would make their hearts happy too.
When Madi sees a family who is multi-ethnic, she always smiles knowingly... (even if the kids arent adopted,, haha!) and its like a little peice of God's love touches her heart.
I love Madi so much... she prays for Bubba to come back home right now to stay forever. She prays for kids of all the colors of the rainbow to find a home here. She prays for empty beds to be filled, and for empty chairs at the table to be filled. I love to see her heart be so like Jesus'!!
Madison loves to see kids that are adopted. She says most people look at her and cant tell shes adopted becuase she kind of looks like Mike and I. So she thinks other kids who are adopted wont know she is like them, and she wishes they would know becuase it makes her heart happy to see that other kids found forever mommies and daddies like her. She thinks if they knew she was adopted it would make their hearts happy too.
When Madi sees a family who is multi-ethnic, she always smiles knowingly... (even if the kids arent adopted,, haha!) and its like a little peice of God's love touches her heart.
I love Madi so much... she prays for Bubba to come back home right now to stay forever. She prays for kids of all the colors of the rainbow to find a home here. She prays for empty beds to be filled, and for empty chairs at the table to be filled. I love to see her heart be so like Jesus'!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Geo-Caching & A Photo Shoot
For our anniversary and Valentine's Day, I got mike a GPS unit that is used for geo-caching. It was used, but he was very happy with it!
Finially today was nice and we had some extra time, so we took the kids geo-caching to a cache spot right near our house. Mike had fun explaining the whole thing to the kids... and they actually all enjoyed it!
It was nice to get out together, and, of course, we brought Tink along!
After you find the cache, you enter your info into the log book, take something someone else placed in the box and put something of your own in it. We put in a big pink plastic jack, from a set of jacks (you know, the old school jacks and ball game!?!?) Then you put the box back and when you get home, you put a note on it online.
(Madi was playing with one of the items someone left behind. Slinkies are fun!)
This is just a funny one. We were trying to point out one of Madi's little neighborhood friends and she was like, "where, where, Where"? And we kept saying over there, right there, and she was completely oblivious, so I had to turn her head... which happened to be the same direction as the one way sign. And I happened to snap a one-handed picture! :o)
After we found the geo-cache, we did a little photoshoot for www.iheartfaces.com's contest this week called "Jump For Joy". Madi was trying to jump high for me so i could snap a cool pic... but the only way she could get high was with a silly look on her face... so Mike picked her up and threw her! Here is some of the funny shots from it!
:o) That was fun... and well worth skipping my MK meeting tonight. We needed some family fun! :o)
What a Night
Last night I went to a MK training and had a nice time with some pretty cool women. When I got home, Mike and I shared a homemade wheat crust pizza (yum... I love my homemade pizzas!) and relaxed. I actually felt sleepy early, so I went up to bed with him around 11. By 1:30 I had already had 3 really bad dreams and couldn't calm myself down. I was feeling scared and panicked even after I had woken up. So I woke Mike up. Truly, I must have the best husband ever, because instead of being annoyed and making me feel bad, he held me when I cried, got me a tissue when I inevitably snotted on him, and talked with me about them. He got me water, rubbed my back, and made me feel safe. I know God gave him those arms for times like those... Madi loves her Daddy's arms and when she has a bad dream she always wants me to sing to her and hug her, but Daddy to hold her.
He also told me that when his brother left for college, he was scared at night becuase they had always shared a room. So he would lay there and say "We have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind" and repeat it until he either fell asleep or was calmed and wasn't afraid. Mike also told me that God gave us 3 things to fight that fear... power, love and a sound mind. That helped me a lot last night.
I don't usually have dreams that I remember and I almost never have bad dreams. I can actually remember almost all the bad dreams I have ever had in my adult life... and count them on one hand. After calming down and praying and repeating that promise of scripture, I fell back asleep and slept horribly! Haha... I really figured after all that stuff, I would sleep so well and feel safe and peaceful... but no. Im not sure what God was trying to teach me or show me or what was going on, but I tossed and turned and had a lot of pain in my back and hips. (My rheumatoid arthritis has been acting up the past few days, and last night was pretty bad!). I thought maybe God was waking me to pray, so, pray I did. But.... I just kept waking up and being uncomfortable. Not fun.
Anyways... I'm not complaining (much), but really trying to figure out what was going on in this house last night. Why did I have such scary dreams!? I actually dreamt that I was screaming and flailing my arms because I couldn't wake up or get Mike's attention. In my dreams I felt trapped, and like things where being stolen from us, and some real and tangible fear!! It's pretty easy with dreams that are literal like that to figure out what I'm feeling... being trapped, the fear of something be stolen from us, those are easy. The situations were are home, Mike's work, and lastly, our bedroom. But... why? And what? Why am I feeling trapped, what is being stolen? And what do those places have to do with it!?
So, I'm praying a good bit about this stuff this morning... and I'm going to snag a quick nap before we head in for Madi's med-check. Pray with me... I don't want another night like last night, but I want to figure out what's going on. This was too strange and out of the ordinary not to mean something.
He also told me that when his brother left for college, he was scared at night becuase they had always shared a room. So he would lay there and say "We have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind" and repeat it until he either fell asleep or was calmed and wasn't afraid. Mike also told me that God gave us 3 things to fight that fear... power, love and a sound mind. That helped me a lot last night.
I don't usually have dreams that I remember and I almost never have bad dreams. I can actually remember almost all the bad dreams I have ever had in my adult life... and count them on one hand. After calming down and praying and repeating that promise of scripture, I fell back asleep and slept horribly! Haha... I really figured after all that stuff, I would sleep so well and feel safe and peaceful... but no. Im not sure what God was trying to teach me or show me or what was going on, but I tossed and turned and had a lot of pain in my back and hips. (My rheumatoid arthritis has been acting up the past few days, and last night was pretty bad!). I thought maybe God was waking me to pray, so, pray I did. But.... I just kept waking up and being uncomfortable. Not fun.
Anyways... I'm not complaining (much), but really trying to figure out what was going on in this house last night. Why did I have such scary dreams!? I actually dreamt that I was screaming and flailing my arms because I couldn't wake up or get Mike's attention. In my dreams I felt trapped, and like things where being stolen from us, and some real and tangible fear!! It's pretty easy with dreams that are literal like that to figure out what I'm feeling... being trapped, the fear of something be stolen from us, those are easy. The situations were are home, Mike's work, and lastly, our bedroom. But... why? And what? Why am I feeling trapped, what is being stolen? And what do those places have to do with it!?
So, I'm praying a good bit about this stuff this morning... and I'm going to snag a quick nap before we head in for Madi's med-check. Pray with me... I don't want another night like last night, but I want to figure out what's going on. This was too strange and out of the ordinary not to mean something.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Finially.... OUTDOOR WEATHER!
Yesterday was GORGEOUS! It was in the 50's and super sunny! Yeah, there is still a good bit of snow around... but only on parts that dont get full sun. And those giant piles that were as tall as the houses are only 3 or 4 feet tall now! So we went OUTSIDE! YAY!
Madi got her bike out and Jay used the scooter... they were riding around for about an hour... being goofy and enjoying the fresh ar!
After playing outside of our house for awhile, we decided to go to the park so we could all play softball and football and run around. Madi played softball on a team last year for the first time and loved it, but the other 2 had never played before. I think we are learning that Jay is probably not the sportiest of kids, while Kiki is actually pretty good at most sports.
Of course, I took tons of pics... but I cant post any that you can really see their faces... so this is as good as it gets for our foster kids.
Gotta love that this kid even poses during a water break. Madi is sooo sporty, its fun to watch her. While doing a sport, like soccer or softball, or even just running, she is super graceful and almost never falls. But when she is just doing "life" she is always tripping over something or running into something... its kinda funny!
Before we were married, Mike had never played a team sport.. or any sport for that matter. I kind of forced him into playing on the church softball league and now he LOVES it!
Even Tink got in on the outdoor fun!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Home School VS Christian School
Now that Madi is officially ours, Mike and I have been debating about what to do with her next year, school-wise. We are pretty sure that no matter what, public school is not what God wants for her. She has such an eager heart and a passion for God, we definitly want to encourage that and feed that more than she is getting now between Sunday School and home devotions. I have always wanted to homeschool our kids, but Madi has a pretty big learning disorder. Although, now that she is on ADHD meds, she is doing so much better and I wonder how much of her learning disorder has to do with the ADHD.
So. Its either homeschooling or Christian School. Financially, I really dont know how we could even think about Christian School... but I know that God can afford to send Miss Madison exactly where she needs to go!
Istalk follow a blog by a women who has a bunch of kids and homeschools them all. She posted a blog about homeschooling yesterday, and this quote has stuck with me since reading it:
And I want to spend more time with her. To bond more with her. So that makes it seem like maybe homeschooling is whats best.
But I have to admit I am scared. Yup. I said it. Im scare of homeschooling!! :o) Im very very unorganized, and I tend to be kinda scatterbrained. I also feel like I DO NOT have enough patience to do it. But I want to try. I dont want to be at Madi's high school graduation wishing I had just at least tried it.
So help. Where do I even begin if I want to homeschool? What cirriculums do you all use? Where do you buy them... what do you do if you get stuck? What kind of paperwork do you have to do? How do you "sign them out" of whatever school they are in? Are there groups you can take them to during that day? What about subjects I can't help her with (like all Math... haha!)? How much time do you spend homeschooling on a daily basis??
Right now, I'm thinking that I would like to do lots of info gathering right now and have a "cirriculum" set by the end of this school year, and then spend June and July homeschooling to see if we can handle it, and if so, then that's what we will do... if not, we will start praying for funding to Christian School!
So thanks in advance for all your help... I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Have you ever done a google search for homeschooling cirriculums??? There are about 552,000 search results. Yeah. That's a lot.
So. Its either homeschooling or Christian School. Financially, I really dont know how we could even think about Christian School... but I know that God can afford to send Miss Madison exactly where she needs to go!
I
If you raise Godly warriors for Jesus Christ and then they backslide,
they become nice little Christians.
BUT if you raise nice little Christians and they back slide,
what do they become?
I want to help Madi become a Warrior for Jesus!! She is such a passionate love of God and I want to encourage that. Not only that, but I want to make sure she is learning in a way that makes learning fun. I want her to love learning her whole life.And I want to spend more time with her. To bond more with her. So that makes it seem like maybe homeschooling is whats best.
But I have to admit I am scared. Yup. I said it. Im scare of homeschooling!! :o) Im very very unorganized, and I tend to be kinda scatterbrained. I also feel like I DO NOT have enough patience to do it. But I want to try. I dont want to be at Madi's high school graduation wishing I had just at least tried it.
So help. Where do I even begin if I want to homeschool? What cirriculums do you all use? Where do you buy them... what do you do if you get stuck? What kind of paperwork do you have to do? How do you "sign them out" of whatever school they are in? Are there groups you can take them to during that day? What about subjects I can't help her with (like all Math... haha!)? How much time do you spend homeschooling on a daily basis??
Right now, I'm thinking that I would like to do lots of info gathering right now and have a "cirriculum" set by the end of this school year, and then spend June and July homeschooling to see if we can handle it, and if so, then that's what we will do... if not, we will start praying for funding to Christian School!
So thanks in advance for all your help... I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Have you ever done a google search for homeschooling cirriculums??? There are about 552,000 search results. Yeah. That's a lot.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Things About Us!
A bloggy friend of mine posted a list of things about her and her family to help people get to know them better.. and it was so fun to read, so I thought I'd try it too! (Eh, even if you dont care, or you already know us pretty well, indulge me...)
1. Mike and I went to school together for 1 yr. (My 10th grade yr, his 9th) and he sat right behind me in band, but we didnt ever talk or anything.
2. We were introduced on New Years Eve of 01, and he thought I was "hot" (his words, not mine), I, on the other hand, didnt really notice him too much. (OOPS!) We slowly became best friends before we started dating.. and we didnt start dating until we KNEW we were going to get married!
3. He is older than me by 9 days, but was a year behind me in school.
4. One of our favorite things to do with the kids at home, is hide and go seek. I am always the last to be found... I dont know why, I'm not a tiny person... by ANY means. We can play for hours on end...
5. Since Madi has become so INTO Gymnastics, we go to the open gym night they have a lot and Mike and I actually enjoy going and helping Madi with her stuff and watching the other girls have fun and be silly!!
6. Mike and I LOVE sushi!! Its sooo yummy. And Madi likes it too. Course, Jay and Kiki think its nasty. Oh well, more for me!
7. I sing, play piano, trumpet, clarinet, trombone, and french horn. Mike plays drums... he loves to play aux. stuff, like djembe, congas, bongos, shakers, rainsticks, ect! We love to play together and the 2 of us comprised the entire worship team at a church for over a year and a half!
8. I love to take pictures and fancy myself an amatuer photographer. Mike hates having his picture taken, but is actually rather photogenic. Mike has also taken a few really hot photos of random things. Like benches on the boardwalk. My hubby rocks.
9. We have a dog named Tinkerbelle. She is an 8lb kid. Tink was there for me during our miscarriages, job loss, foster kids leaving, depression, a rhuematoid arthritis diagnosis, a diabetes diagnosis, and so much more. I honestly beleive that God gave me Tink to cuddle with, to get my tears kissed by, and to provide us with a source of laughter and a reason to get up in the morning when the world was dark and feeling very empty. I used to cry and cuddle Tink and try to pray, but couldnt. I would think, "what do I have to be thankful for"? And the little button nose would gently poke my face and I would be able to at least thank God for her. You may think I'm silly... but that dog was my lifesaver during a really rough time!
10. One of my dreams is to be a soloist in a choir like Kirk Franklin's, or Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.
11. I love intercessory worship. A prayer warrior told me a few years ago that I was going to do warfare worship, and I had no idea what it meant, but God taught me, and I feel true peace even while doing warfare and interceeding!! (Yay, God!)
12. Madi cant say her "r's" and has troubles with 'th'. She has a very unique way of speaking and its so cute. She also comes up with some of the most RANDOM words! One of my favs is "re-neck-or-ize". In Madi-speak, it means recognize, or remember... or both. Lol! :o)
13. Madi has a couple of dreams in life. One is to be a "singer like my mommy". But my poor baby is kinda tone deaf. We dont care tho.. she makes a JOYFUL NOISE! Another is to be a gymnast. That one, she will definitly do!! And lastly, she wants to a "fashion girl". That would be a model. She definitly could be one, but oh Jesus, keep her outta that!!
14. We have been mommy and daddy to a total of 10 kids. But only one is "ours"...and she was adopted on 12/18/09.
15. Mike and I both are super super unorganized and bad at bills and with money, but God put us together for some reason! lol! :o)
Thats it for now... :o) Stay tuned for more!
1. Mike and I went to school together for 1 yr. (My 10th grade yr, his 9th) and he sat right behind me in band, but we didnt ever talk or anything.
2. We were introduced on New Years Eve of 01, and he thought I was "hot" (his words, not mine), I, on the other hand, didnt really notice him too much. (OOPS!) We slowly became best friends before we started dating.. and we didnt start dating until we KNEW we were going to get married!
3. He is older than me by 9 days, but was a year behind me in school.
4. One of our favorite things to do with the kids at home, is hide and go seek. I am always the last to be found... I dont know why, I'm not a tiny person... by ANY means. We can play for hours on end...
5. Since Madi has become so INTO Gymnastics, we go to the open gym night they have a lot and Mike and I actually enjoy going and helping Madi with her stuff and watching the other girls have fun and be silly!!
6. Mike and I LOVE sushi!! Its sooo yummy. And Madi likes it too. Course, Jay and Kiki think its nasty. Oh well, more for me!
7. I sing, play piano, trumpet, clarinet, trombone, and french horn. Mike plays drums... he loves to play aux. stuff, like djembe, congas, bongos, shakers, rainsticks, ect! We love to play together and the 2 of us comprised the entire worship team at a church for over a year and a half!
8. I love to take pictures and fancy myself an amatuer photographer. Mike hates having his picture taken, but is actually rather photogenic. Mike has also taken a few really hot photos of random things. Like benches on the boardwalk. My hubby rocks.
9. We have a dog named Tinkerbelle. She is an 8lb kid. Tink was there for me during our miscarriages, job loss, foster kids leaving, depression, a rhuematoid arthritis diagnosis, a diabetes diagnosis, and so much more. I honestly beleive that God gave me Tink to cuddle with, to get my tears kissed by, and to provide us with a source of laughter and a reason to get up in the morning when the world was dark and feeling very empty. I used to cry and cuddle Tink and try to pray, but couldnt. I would think, "what do I have to be thankful for"? And the little button nose would gently poke my face and I would be able to at least thank God for her. You may think I'm silly... but that dog was my lifesaver during a really rough time!
10. One of my dreams is to be a soloist in a choir like Kirk Franklin's, or Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir.
11. I love intercessory worship. A prayer warrior told me a few years ago that I was going to do warfare worship, and I had no idea what it meant, but God taught me, and I feel true peace even while doing warfare and interceeding!! (Yay, God!)
12. Madi cant say her "r's" and has troubles with 'th'. She has a very unique way of speaking and its so cute. She also comes up with some of the most RANDOM words! One of my favs is "re-neck-or-ize". In Madi-speak, it means recognize, or remember... or both. Lol! :o)
13. Madi has a couple of dreams in life. One is to be a "singer like my mommy". But my poor baby is kinda tone deaf. We dont care tho.. she makes a JOYFUL NOISE! Another is to be a gymnast. That one, she will definitly do!! And lastly, she wants to a "fashion girl". That would be a model. She definitly could be one, but oh Jesus, keep her outta that!!
14. We have been mommy and daddy to a total of 10 kids. But only one is "ours"...and she was adopted on 12/18/09.
15. Mike and I both are super super unorganized and bad at bills and with money, but God put us together for some reason! lol! :o)
Thats it for now... :o) Stay tuned for more!
Sigh.
I promised myself that I would share the good, bad, and ugly in regards to foster care. There is this tendency for foster parents to paint lifes picture with a foster kid as rosy and pretty in order to entice more people into doing it. Its not that we are lying or trying to decieve, its that we want more people to save orphans! But, I dont want to deceive or even lead anyone to beleive that this is simply a walk in the park.
I believe truly, that fostering and adoption is one of the hardest things I have ever ever done, but is completely the most rewarding expeirience of my life. I also believe its not necessarily for everyone... but that every single Christian is called to help the orphans. Ahh, I am digressing. That's a word right.... digressing? Or is it simply, I digress? Whatever. HOLY RABBIT TRAILS Batman! (It's been like this all day!)
Right now we are having some issues with Jay. She is the 8 yr old. Jay is a quiet, happy, easy-going kid, who likes to nap and dance, and color. She loves Jesus and gets very excited about Him, and goodness, this kid can SING! She has a natural beautiful voice that you wouldnt think could come out of an 8 yr old!! Lately tho, we have seen act more like a sullen, sad, (yikes... even depressed) little girl who is lying almost hourly. I think Jay is actually very very intelligent and I beleive she has the capacity to do extremely well in school, but she is failing 3rd grade right now. Despite the hour or two of EXTRA help we give her every night, she is stuck. She isnt trying and I can't seem to get her to care. She lies about Madi, she lies about school work, she lies about chores, her birth mom. Everything. We are at the point where her teacher emails me her homework and what she needs to bring back, etc everyday just so she isnt falling behind any more!
Like all our kids, she is in counseling, and today I took a few mins and spoke with her counselor alone. He thinks she is a bit depressed and not feeling very loved.
Her birth mom has 5 kids. 18, 17, 12, 8, &7. They are all in different places right now... except her sister Kiki... the 12 yr old. Last night, Kiki, Jay, and the 7 yr old, Jojo (who lives with another family right up the road) had a visit with their mom and she bought Kiki a camcorder, a camera, and gave her some money. She gave Jojo a HUGE bag full of stuff (I'm not sure what was in it) and told him that they bought him a guitar, but since it was raining and they had to walk, they didnt bring it. All Jay got was a small bag with some junk food in it. And since we only let the kids have like one peice of junk a week, she couldnt even enjoy it. This morning she was even more quiet than usual. I took a moment to chat with her one-on-one, and she admitted to me that she felt like her mom didnt care about her. That explains a lot. That explains why she doesnt want my love (shes mad at her mom), it explains why she wanted to take a book along to her visit (so she could escape), and why she seems to crave Mike's attention and responds to his attention much more than me (mom hurts, dad doesnt).
After our chat, I sensed a change. Not that was instantly back to her bubbly self, but maybe just a little less anxious. A little more peace. Then when I dropped her and Madi off at school, she turned around and gave me a HUGE hug. A true squeezer. And she held it. Remember when I said fostering was the hardest thign we've done? Well, that was walking through the last few days with her. And then I said it was the most rewarding thing? That was that hug. Jay is NOT a hugger. She is not quick to show love to us. But today when she hugged me and I leaned down and kissed her head. She sighed. One of those, "it's going to be ok" sighs. :oD
Its not easy. Its stressful. It makes me wanna scream sometimes. BUT, God knows. He knows when I need to see a glimmer of hope. A glimmer that shows us that what we are doing is good. And let me tell you, that hug was more than a hug. It was a light at the end of the tunnel. It was rewarding. It was exactly what this momma needed!!
I believe truly, that fostering and adoption is one of the hardest things I have ever ever done, but is completely the most rewarding expeirience of my life. I also believe its not necessarily for everyone... but that every single Christian is called to help the orphans. Ahh, I am digressing. That's a word right.... digressing? Or is it simply, I digress? Whatever. HOLY RABBIT TRAILS Batman! (It's been like this all day!)
Right now we are having some issues with Jay. She is the 8 yr old. Jay is a quiet, happy, easy-going kid, who likes to nap and dance, and color. She loves Jesus and gets very excited about Him, and goodness, this kid can SING! She has a natural beautiful voice that you wouldnt think could come out of an 8 yr old!! Lately tho, we have seen act more like a sullen, sad, (yikes... even depressed) little girl who is lying almost hourly. I think Jay is actually very very intelligent and I beleive she has the capacity to do extremely well in school, but she is failing 3rd grade right now. Despite the hour or two of EXTRA help we give her every night, she is stuck. She isnt trying and I can't seem to get her to care. She lies about Madi, she lies about school work, she lies about chores, her birth mom. Everything. We are at the point where her teacher emails me her homework and what she needs to bring back, etc everyday just so she isnt falling behind any more!
Like all our kids, she is in counseling, and today I took a few mins and spoke with her counselor alone. He thinks she is a bit depressed and not feeling very loved.
Her birth mom has 5 kids. 18, 17, 12, 8, &7. They are all in different places right now... except her sister Kiki... the 12 yr old. Last night, Kiki, Jay, and the 7 yr old, Jojo (who lives with another family right up the road) had a visit with their mom and she bought Kiki a camcorder, a camera, and gave her some money. She gave Jojo a HUGE bag full of stuff (I'm not sure what was in it) and told him that they bought him a guitar, but since it was raining and they had to walk, they didnt bring it. All Jay got was a small bag with some junk food in it. And since we only let the kids have like one peice of junk a week, she couldnt even enjoy it. This morning she was even more quiet than usual. I took a moment to chat with her one-on-one, and she admitted to me that she felt like her mom didnt care about her. That explains a lot. That explains why she doesnt want my love (shes mad at her mom), it explains why she wanted to take a book along to her visit (so she could escape), and why she seems to crave Mike's attention and responds to his attention much more than me (mom hurts, dad doesnt).
After our chat, I sensed a change. Not that was instantly back to her bubbly self, but maybe just a little less anxious. A little more peace. Then when I dropped her and Madi off at school, she turned around and gave me a HUGE hug. A true squeezer. And she held it. Remember when I said fostering was the hardest thign we've done? Well, that was walking through the last few days with her. And then I said it was the most rewarding thing? That was that hug. Jay is NOT a hugger. She is not quick to show love to us. But today when she hugged me and I leaned down and kissed her head. She sighed. One of those, "it's going to be ok" sighs. :oD
Its not easy. Its stressful. It makes me wanna scream sometimes. BUT, God knows. He knows when I need to see a glimmer of hope. A glimmer that shows us that what we are doing is good. And let me tell you, that hug was more than a hug. It was a light at the end of the tunnel. It was rewarding. It was exactly what this momma needed!!
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