Goal in Sight!!

Im a big girl... always have been... and probably always will be kinda big.  Im ok with it though... I have a hubby who loves me and like me just the way I am, and I know I love by the King of Kings... so its all good! :o)

I also have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian sydrome), RA (rhuematoid arthiritis), and was at one point in my life, diabetic.  But these things dont have me... I am determind to live my life out loud for Jesus... to run and jump with my kids, and even one day to have a biological child. 

When Mike and I got married 5 and half years ago, I was at my heaviest (see, he really does love me for me)... almost 300 lbs.  (Gasp... I know... wow... its still hard for me to admit that!) About a month before the wedding I realized how heavy I was and became determined to change my life.  So I began to lose weight and in about a year I lost about 60 lbs.  I was so proud of myself!!  I did it by simpy making better choices.  Drinking water a lot, no butter on the veggies, walking around more... etc.  Just little changes that added up.  Then I was diagnosed with diabetes at the same time I found out I was pregnant with our first bean.  I lost the bean... and was put on a low carb diet with insulin shots and metformin. 

What is the best thing you can do for diabetes and PCOS?  Lose wieght.  Did I?  NO... I ballooned back up... I gained 40 of the 60 lbs back very quickly.  After being on that regiment for about a year, I couldnt take it.  I was following the diet so strickly and sticking myself millions of times and taking pills that made me feel gross... and gaining weight.  So, against doctors orders (but seriously, thats not smart), I took my self off the diet and all meds.  And began very slowly losing weight.  In the last 3 years, I lost that 40lb again... plus more. :o)  GO me!

I set a goal for myself about 3 yrs ago when I stopped with the meds of getting to 200 lbs.  That to me was a magical number.  Maybe if I get there I will get pregnant and keep the baby... maybe my PCOS will cease to bother me.  And now that I have the RA diagnosis, I know that wight loss helps joints too, so its all win-win!

Part of having PCOS is having a hard time losing weight.  My metabolism doesnt work right... my whole endocrine system is out of whack.  So I can lose a few lbs and then get "stuck", and I have been stuck at 220-225 for amost 7 or 8 months.  A few weeks ago, I weighed myself... and to my suprise I weighed 216... my lowest since high school!!! 

This got me motivated!  The 200 mark was now in sight.  I began to watch my food even more and trying to excercise more... with the kids, and even on my own.  Today, I was going to go on a bike ride with the girls, but even they thought it was too hot, so I decided to dust off the Wii Fit and get to work!
If you havent had a chance to do a work out on this thing... you should!!  Its fun!  At the beginning the weigh you and tell you your BMI.  To my utter suprise... I weighed myself and came in at 210!!!!!!

210!

WOw!!  Thats sooooo close! I am so super close!  YAY ME! I honestly cant wait for my next docs appt (its been almost a year) to show off my weight loss.  And to kinda stick it in my docs face... haha.. I CAN do it!  Oh... thats not nice.  lol!

I spent an hour on the Wii... and I was feeling it.  Whew!  Im proud of my self.  Its been a long road, and I have been stuck at so many different times, it feels so good to be this close. 

I know that we are closer than even to having a bio child.  We want to adopt many more kiddos, but its a dream and desire of Mike and I's to have just one bio child.  To experience pregnancy, and child birth, the baby shower, the maternity clothes, the OBGYN appts... hearing our babies heart beat for the first time.  Holding that new new life.  I look at Madi some days and wonder what her sweet face looked like as a newborn, as a toddler, as a preschooler.  I hold her in my arms and wish for just a min that I could shrink her and she what she felt like as a baby.  And Madi wants a baby so bad.  She wants to "see mommy's tummy grow, and hold the baby, and help name it, and help feed it".  She loves to help me with the respite kids we get!!  She changes pee diapers a lot... and would probably change a poopy one if I would let her!!

Not only that... but I am healthier.  I am going to be around longer for my kids and have a better quality of life too.  Getting to this point has helped me see that I need to do even more for my health... including going to more regular doc visits and things.  So I am.  I am going to do even more to be healthy!!! :o)