Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I just got really excited by being able to wish you a Happy Halloween.  Now, dont think Ive lost my mind and gone to the dark side!!

Listen to this....

JESUS died and rose from the grave,

therefore conquering the grave.

HE has VICTORY over the Grave,

VICTORY over sin,

VICTORY over death,

Satan,

ghosts,

goblins,

and any scary stuff that the enemy tries to use!!

JESUS WON!!  He defeated DEATH! 
So, today Im teaching my kids to rejoice in Jesus and rejoice in His Victory!!

Lets use this day that the enemy has deemed "His Day" and stick it to him!

Proclaim LOUDLY that Jesus WON!

Satan is DEFEATED!!
HALLELUJAH! :o)
Lets make today abotu Jesus and His triumphant rise from the grave... lets make Halloween a Jesus-filled day!

So Happy Halloween.. in Jesus Name!

Halloween!?

This blog was inspired in part by this blog: Halloween Blog and also by our struggle to find our place in this and our voice in this.

We have decided to let the kids go trick or treating.  But, we have explained to the older to that we arent going "trick or treating" we are going to show off our costumes and get some candy and bless others.  So I asked our oldest how we could bless others and she said to say Thank You and God Bless You when they get candy.  She also said that we should give out more candy than we get.   So we are putting a bucket of candy out on our porch.  We also decided to try to use our costumes to teach the kids something about the Lord.  Madi was dead set on beig a snow princess, so we decided to make the 3 (plus one more we are doing a respite for starting on Sat, i know we are nuts.) the 4 seasons!!  We are teaching them the concept of the seasons and what the look like, plus we talked to each of them about how awesome God is that he made such beautiful seasons and beautiful things in the seasons.
We also carved our pumpkins... well, Mike and Madi and I did,  Dee Dee and Bubba made there pumpkins into dogs with Mr. Potato Head peices... tooooo cute!  My pumpkin has Jesus' name into it with some flowers and vines... very pretty if I do say so myself... and I think its shining my light!! :o)  Madi decided to carve a palm tree a sun and an island into hers... becuase thats what she thought might be in heaven.. lol, thats definitly my kid, heaven as a tropical oasis!! Mike's has a monkey on one side and Hope on the other side.  They are proudly displayed on our front porch.  So our pumpkins arent scary and arnt there for any satanic reason, just as artwork!!  I personally LOVE to carve things!  I carved a watermelon once for a party.... I also carved shapes in a pineapple to make it into a lantern for a tropical themed baby shower!  Its fun!
Another thing we did was talk to our kids about halloween and the "bad stuff".  We decorated for fall, leaves, pumpkins, a wreath and gourds, but we dont use anything "scary".  No witches, bats, black cats, spiders or ghosts.  We explained that those things are bad becuase they are used as symbols of people who worship Satan.  Trust me, that was a LONG and difficult conversation, filled with LOTS of questions! lol!  But I think they understand.  We are worshipping Jesus every day, including this day.  We are dressing up and showing our costumes and getting some candy and blessing people in Jesus name!  We are not celebrating a pagan thing, but having fun at harvest time.

I think that we truly are doing that.  Hopefully.  Prayerfully. 

Dontcha JUST LOVE COFFEE!?!?

As Mike and I began to research fundraising options for Madison's adoption, a friend sent us a link to www.justlovecoffee.com, and after reading about this organization, we decided that we felt the Lord leading us to use this route. We loved the company, the idea behind it, and the fact that while raising money to fund our own adoption, we would also be raising money to help and orphanage in Ethiopia!!

Here is more info on the company, Just Love Coffee:
Rob Webb knows coffee. When Rob was two years old, his father started Webb's Coffee Service, which blossomed into a full-blown refreshment service supplying businesses in Nashville, TN and the surrounding areas, and is now run by Rob.

Rob Webb knows the adoption process. In the summer of 2008, Rob and his wife Emily were called to adopt from Ethiopia. After much prayer and discussion with their first two children they started their adoption journey in August 2008. During the flurry of paperwork and preparation, Rob & Emily read books not only on adoption in general, but specifically on Ethiopia. Learning that Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee caught Rob's attention, and after reading about the living conditions and wages of the average coffee farmer, he was compelled to take action. What developed through his reading and his trip to Ethiopia to unite with his daughters was a realization that he could combine his expertise and longstanding desire to roast his own coffees with his desire to help others. Just Love Coffee Roasters was born! Roasting Fair Trade Specialty coffees, Just Love uses proceeds to help an Ethiopian orphanage and families adopting not just from Ethiopia, but from anywhere in the world.

We are so blessed to be adopting through foster care becuase the amount we have to raise is minimal compared to an international adoption, but there still are some fees that we need to take care of.

This is such an easy fundraisier, both for us and for you! Alll you have to do is go to Our Store, choose the coffee you want, purchase it and wait for it to be delivered!! Its sooo easy and the coffee is super good and super fresh!

Please feel free to pass this info on to all your friends and family. This would make an amazing Christmas present... great coffee AND helping orphans. James 1:27 at its finest!!!

Thanks in advance for your consideration in this! We are sooo blessed to have friends and family like all of you who are willing to help a great little girl get her biggest wish of being adoption!! I know I cant wait until Madison is truly ours... and I know that she cant wait to be a Matson!!
www.justlovecoffee.com/matsonfam

Day 4

Yea... its only day 4 of having Dee and Bubba... but it feels like day 100 or something!  I need a break and its only been 4 days! Oh my!
Dee has continued with her defiant behavior... especially with me.  She will listen to Mike fairly well, but not to me... although, as I sat and reflected on my day, I realized she actually is listening a little better for me.  She is stealing a lot of random things, like erasers, crumpled up peices of paper, trash, a roll of toilet paper, a roll of paper towels... yea.  Random.  She peed her pants today at dinner.  I wasnt forcing her to eat, I was just sitting with her while she finished... she hadnt said she wanted up or that she was full, she just takes forever to eat, so I was just sitting with her and chatting and when she got up, her butt was wet.  I dont know why.  She had even gone potty not to long before dinner.  I really have no clue what that was about!!
Bubba is doing well... he's a pretty pleasant kid... and I do enjoy being with him.  Until Dee comes home.  Then he feeds off of her bad behavior and gets a little more defiant... but nothing extreme. He has had some congestion and coughing and last night wasnt able to sleep hardly at all because of the coughing.  Tonight.. he is fast asleep and doing fine!! (Yay homemade cough syrup... warm lemondade and lotsa honey!) He had a flu shot on Friday and I wish that they hadnt, because he has had some runny diapers and now has diaper rash becuase of it... Ive been using some other cream, but got him Butt Paste today and I definitly see a difference already!  Thats my new diaper rash cream... it really started clearing it up already!!
Madi has been doing ok.... sigh.  She says having them here is "kinda good" but I can tell its hard for her.  Hard to share her parents, hard to share her things, hard to have someone following her, hard to not try to parent them, hard hard hard.  And last night, my mom watched the kids while Mike and I took our mid-term.  We are in bible school with International School of Ministry.  My mom is pretty good at handling kids and she said it was pure chaos and totally crazy and at one point Madi said its not fair that I have to share and I dont want them here.  Poor kid.  I know this is tough for her, but I think it will get better and then she will enjoy this more.  I think she had this picture of some great siblings that were well behaved, not abused and not neglected. 
We are really just praying through this... praying Dee can focus and listen, praying Bubba can bond and attach to us and learn what real love is and what real parenting is and that Madi can just accept this and learn from it and step up to the challenge!
We had a visit tonight and I we got to meet mom.. but more on that later!

Long Night= Tired Parents!

So... wow.  Dee Dee is a handful.  Oh, what the heck, Im not sugar-coating this... she is difficult!  She doesnt listen when she doesnt want to and no amount of prodding, threatening, or even rewarding can get her to do the thing she doesnt want to do!!  She seems to be immune to any type of parenting so far.  Yes, I know, its only been less than a day, but we had all afternoon and evening with her last night and then this morning.  In that short time we saw a lot of behaviors that suppprt what I just said!
This morning was tough becuase Madi was tired and when she is tired she is on a short fuse and can definitly lose her control quickly!!  So I had 2 kids on timeout before 8:30!  Oh and timeout... what a joke!  Dee Dee wont sit on a timeout for anything!  I ended up sitting her in the corner and then kneeling behind her and gently holding her to keep her in the corner and from looking around and calling the dog.  She really has NOOO desire to listen or to be good!  Anyone have any good timeout tips?  I dont want to have to use force, no matter how gentle the force happens to be!!!
I know its very early on, but I think we are going to have to take advantage of respite care for foster kids with her.  Now... before you judge, I have never ONCE put Madi on respite care and she has been with us for 1 yr and 2 months.  I really dont beleive that respites are the best thing for kids... but in this case, I think for all of us to remain a healthy family for Dee Dee, we will need for her to stay over night every once in a while with someone else!!  I know parenting is a 24 hour job... but OH MY!  God is great and His mercy is enough for me... so I know we can do this.  I know we can be good parents to her!  WITH HELP! 

Anyways... Bubba is a pretty good kid.  He wasnt able to sleep last night much and Mike ended up going into his room and laying in the spare bed with him just to keep him from crying.  As long as someone was laying with him, he laid there quietly, but Mike said bubba just laid there awake most of the night.  Im hoping that will equal some good nap time today, but no holding my breath.  His last foster family said he likes one of those fisher price fish tank toys that hang in the cribs.  He couldnt fall sleep without it at there home and would often wake in the middle of the night and the other foster mom would just turn it back on and he would go right back to sleep.  Of course... we dont have one.  And of course.... they didnt send it with him.  So he just couldnt fall asleep last night.  He also hardly are anything yesterday... so today he is sitting here at the table eating very noisily!! Its cute! lol! 

Today is my birthday.  But I dont think we really are going to celebrate it much.  We are pretty broke and with 2 extra mouths to feed, it seems we will just have a dinner at home.  The only part of that I dislike is the dinner at home part.. and thats only becuase I have to make it.  No one should have to make dinner on their birthdays!! (haha... that should be a national law!! :o)

Piano Time!

The girls playing the piano!  I dont have a pic of Bubba's back yet... but my wonderful hubby snagged this today of Madi and Dee Dee! :o)

How you can help!

This is a repost from my facebook page... thanks for all who have asked how to help.. .its such a blessing!! :o)

Im so blessed by the people I know!! (That would be you)

Since announcing we were getting two new kids, some of you have emailed and asked how you could help. Wow.. thanks for even asking! Rather than write the same things over and over, Im putting it in a note!

I talked to the principal and a caseworker and found out that these 2 kids are coming to us with only a few things that the current foster family bought them in the last few weeks. They dont have winter coats, or new shoes and only a few items of clothing. I wish I knew thier sizes, but the principal of the girl said she is TINY.. like the size of a 3 yr old. (So now, I have 2 tiny girls... they will fit well together!!)
We have TONS of stuffed animals and games and books, but I went through my toys and I dont really have any for a boy. At 2, I figure he would like trains, and dogs, and jungle stuff (We dont do guns or anything like that). Thankfully, at 6, the girl will have similar likes as Madi, and Madi has barbies and my little ponies and lots of movies!

We also need pillows... Madi has 2 and thats all the ones we have!! :o/
And Boys bedding... crib bedding and also something boyish or nuetral for the extra bed in his room.
I still could use some storage... like a small dresser or something.
Im sure he is still in diapers, so we could use some of those, lol!

As far as clothes... as soon as I know thier sizes, I will post them.
Obviously, money is tight and will be for the next month or so until we get them the things they need, but I could pay something for the things you have that we need.

Sorry this is so scattered... its hard to even think about what they will need without knowing what they have. I know its getting cold, but Madi looooves to ride her bike and scooter... so the kids could use things like that so they arent fighting over the bike and scooter.

And the most important thing... PRAYERS!!! Transitions are NEVER easy for these kids, or for the fams. It will take a lot of adjusting, and will be a long road to help the girl to succeed in school... @ 6 she cant count and doesnt know any letters yet. :o/

Anyways, if I tagged you... its just to get the word out and to pray! (Or I tagged you becuase you emailed me!)

Today is the Day for Good NEWS!

THANK YOU JESUS!!! More amazing news!! im seriously bursting at the seems!! So Thankful to you Lord for answering my prayers!!!

I got an email from Madi's caseworker... the thing that has been holding up her adopting is an appeal that the B.F. (birth father) filed in January.  It was an appeal of the goal change from reunification to adoption.  Since then his rights have been terminated, but the appeal still was floating in court-case-land.  TODAY, the appeal was DENIED!  BIG FAT DENIED!  PRAISE GOD!! lol!  Now, yes he could appeal the denial, but ive been told his lawyer typically will tell a parent at this point, I wont represent you, its not worth it!  SO this could be the end.  He has 30 days to appeal and then we can go ahead with the adoption!  OH MY!  It really could happen by Christmas!  Thats soooo cool.  I had really lost hope that it would happen even by spring... but God knows!  God is sooo cool!  Yaya!!  What a wonderful day! :o)

WOW!

YAY GOD!  After all my whining and moaning and praying about how I hate being home alone, God has decided to give us charge over two little ones!!  YAY!  A 6 yr old girl and a 2 yr old boy will come to live with us on Monday!  Im so excited... and wait until Miss Madi hears about this... she is going to be SOOO excited!  A sister AND a brother all at once!?!? She is going to be in heaven (until she realizes that she will have to share her precious daddy and mimi with them, lol!)

So... heres a little about them.... and I think that this is ALL God!
-The girl... we will call her a A and the boy B (for now)
  *Has ADD and ADHD and is on for meds for her conditions
  *Was possibly s*xually abused
  *Has acted out sexually
  *Is overly affectionate with men in particular
  *Is in 1st grade
  *And (best part) is in Madi's school already, so no changing of schools for this one (YAY, and Madi's school is amazing and Im so in love with this school and so glad that A will be able to go there too!)

-The boy, B
  *Is completely on track devolpmentally
  *Is a calm and well-behaved boy

SOOOOO.... I am requesting your prayers PLEASE!  We know that A will be in the same room as Madi and Madi was s*xually abused as well and we just want PURE Jesus in that room.  For there to be no acting out, and for the girls to just get a long and for all the appropriate behavior we have taught Madi to have an affect on A.  For some major healing for A and B... especially A.  They have been in care for one month and are already being moved to a new home.  So three homes in a little over a month can really mess a kid up.  We need WISDOM!  Especially for the add/adhd thing.  We beleive Madi has adhd and have avoided meds since she came to us, but we have just made the decision to put her on meds becuase we have tried all the diet things, so I will need to supreme patience and wisdom in dealing with these 2 and knowing what meds to keep A on.  It seems she is probably very drugged and I dont believe that is best for a kid.  Also pray for smooth transistions, APPROPRIATE bonding with us, and peace to reign in our home.

Feel free to pass this on... the more people praying the better... right!?!  :o) Thanks!
Oh... does anyone have any little boy bedding they could donate?  We only have girl stuff... and limited funds to purchase boy bedding!!!  We have both a crib and a bed in his room, so we can decide which would be best for him when he gets here and after talking to hs current family.  Thanks! :o)

Happy Birthday Daddy

Hottie Hubbie of the year:  

MY HUBBIE! :o) 

Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my soul mate, and bestest best friend!

While we were in the mountains with Mikes parents and Sister, Mikes mom and dad took us out to a nice resturant and suprised mike with some seriously bad waitress' singing and some yummy ice cream with a candle!  It was very nice and kind of low key and simple... like Mike.  We had a good laugh about it and shared the ice cream.  

This man is so good.  His heart is so big and I am SOOO blessed by him on a regular basis.  He followed my dream of being a worship leader and even stepped up to the plate to play drums, when all he really wants to do is stay back behind the sound board and make me sound good.  

Aww.. I really need to share this about him.  

We work at a small church (I mean SMALL... like 20 people small) and so the worship team consists of me and him.  And thats it.  Its uncomfortable for us, but totally God!  God has taught us SOO much and brought us SOO far in this place, its unreal!  He is soooo good to us!  But, the one thing we constantly say we need and want is a bass player.  I joke with him a lot that he should learn to play bass... I can play, but I cant play piano, sing and play bass at the same time, so I tell him to learn and Ill teach him!  But he always, always, says no.  And I know him... that would be sooooooo far out of his comfort zone and so not like him, I never really expected him to agree.  So tonight, he looked at me and said, what would you say if I said I want to learn to play bass.  I wanted to dance around and jump up and down, but (after picking my jaw up off the ground) I said I think it would be great and I love you.

He knows that its something I want.  Its something I wish he would do and beleive that he can do it well.  So hes doing it for me and for the Lord.  Everything we do, our goal is to do it for the Lord!!

Anyways... Im blessed.  My husband is a Godly man and an amazing father... what more can ya ask for?

Pictures!

I love photography, but since my girl is still a foster kid, I cant post pics of her!  Actually Im not supposed to post anything about her using her name... but since Madi isnt her birth name... I can post about her that way.  Madison will be her adopted name... she chose it and it means Brave.  Love that!!

Anyways... This past weekend we went to the mounatins with my wonderful hubbies family... his parents and sister.  I took TONS of gorgeous pics of Madi... my goodness she is getting so pretty, and she wants to be a model (uggghhh!), but I cant post them.  But then I remember that I just cant show her face, and, thanks to Pap Pap, I have a couple of pics of her back and she and Pap Pap tooks walks away from us!

And I even got one of Aunt Shell and Madi.

Yaya for being able to post pics of my girl!!  Someday I cant wait to show you her face in this very public blog!  (I know I post pics on facebook, but my albums are all limited in who can view them). 

Good, Bad, and the Ugly!

Last night, I stayed up until about 3:30 reading a blog written by a wonderful mom of 13... 3 of whom were adopted from Ghana.  Right now they are walking the very hard road of disruption (when an adopted kid has to be removed from his adoptive home and placed elsewhere, usually for the safety of the other siblings) and have shared this road on her blog.  Mike and I know that someday we will adopt internationally and it was so refreshing to read someones HONEST story of an international adoption.  So often the adoption community requires adoptive parents to stay hush hush about the "bad" side of life and then adoptive parents go into it blind and are blown away when a child comes home acting out verbally, physically, or even s*xually.  Yes, I said it.  Sometimes adopted kids have been abused s*xually and then continue the cycle by abusing someone else.  We as parents MUST know that this situations exsist in order to learn how to deal with it and help these poor kids to HEAL!  And as an adoptive parent that is my first goal, to help this child be a healed and whole person so they can live a full and rich life!!
All this got me thinking about the incident that happened to my blog back in the summer.  I know that it was simply Satan trying to silence my voice.  Trying to keep me from being honest about our journey through foster care.  Because I will always say that this isnt for everyone, its hard, and sometimes I wanna quit, but it is the MOST rewarding thing that my husband and I have ever done.  It is worth it. 
I really want people to know he good and bad sides about this.  I know a couple who went through years of infertility and decided to try foster-to-adopt, but didnt research it and didnt realize the problems kids can come with.  They accepted a family of 4 and within 2 weeks all four kids had to be placed elsewhere and the family left the foster care program for 2 years.  Why this placement failed had nothing to do with 4 kids being placed all at once, and everything to do with 3 of the 4 kids having severe attachtment issues and the parents having no idea that these issues even exsist.  This couple now has a sibling group of 3 with them and are successfully parenting them and one of them has RAD.  What changed was this couple started reading and learning and hearing the ugly side of adoption and foster care.  They became equipped and now are doing a wonderful job helping the eldest to overcome the attachment issues!
All this to say, Im prayfully thinking of exposing more of our story to help others out there.  To let the world know what it truly is like and to know that you can overcome these attachtment issues and you can make a difference in a kids life. 

Needing some prayers... and advice.

Our foster daughter... Madi, the one we are hoping will be adopted soon has been wetting her pants every day this week (during the day... not at night!).  She seems to just wait until the last minute and cant make it in time.  But she is 8.  I dont want to embarrass her by putting her back into pullups, but sitting in pee pants all day is very bad for a young girl!!  I read it can cause bladder infections and urinary tract infections, and thats really the last thing this girl needs right now! 
If it is emotional (which is a definite possibility) I cant seem to find the cause of it!  Usually I can point out a trigger for her emotional behaviors, but it seems that this was an ok week... no major or minor problems or setbacks or anything. 
We are leaving for the mountains tomorrow morning and I really dont want to take 12 pairs of pants and undies along for 2 days, but Im afraid I may have to!  Right now, she is on timeout for her episode this morning and Im making her go potty every 30 mins.  (Thats going over like a lead balloon).  Any other advice!?!  (Oh, we are pretty sure its not an infection... she had them before and has no symptoms... and isnt even going that often!).
Please pray for her.  If it is emotional then finding the cause of it so we can work on it is the best thing, but she cant express her emotions or doesnt want to, so its sooo hard to figure stuff out!

No New Baby...

The baby went to a family that the mom was a nurse.  And I guess thats the best family for a very sick little girl!!
It makes me sad definitly... but I figure that i did get a chance to pray for this little life for a few days, and thats worth it! 
I think my real frustrations lie in the adds you see all over that claim "We need more foster families".  If we need more.. then my home should be filled to capacity and I should be turning away kids!  Instead, I have 2 beds and 1 crib that are sitting empty and unused.  I have 6 chairs at the kitchen table and one high chair, and there is only 3 of us.  Where are all these kids that I KNOW need a home!?!? 
Ugh.  I feel so badly that there are kids out there just waiting to be adopted and here sits our empty home just waiting for kids to come and be our forever children!

New Baby? Maybe?

We will be waiting tomorrow for a call about a new baby girl.  We got the referral from our agency on friday and they sent our profile to the county for the worker to decide which family she feels is best for the baby.  We should know tomorrow sometime.  I dont know much about the baby, but I'll share what I do know.
She is between 3-6 mos old and currently in the hospital.  She was declared Medically Fragile and was diagnosed with Failure to Thrive.  This poor baby has severe acid reflux which causes her to vomit everytime she eats.  She also has to be awoken every 3 hrs to eat.  I know if we get this little baby it will be tough and a lot of work, but I want to do this.  I want to pray over this baby and work with her and help her succeed in this life!
Please just pray for us that if we are supposed to have this baby that the decision would be made in our favor!  Ive been praying for her all weekend and feel love for the fragile little life already!  Its hard not to!  Also, this is most likely a more permanant placement, which we need.  We have done a couple of respites since having Madi, and I think that its to hard on her and us to continue doing that.  Madi needs a sister... we really feel empty and its hard to see 6 chairs at the kitchen table... and only 3 full.  Its time to fill this house with kids that need our lovies!! :o)
So pray for us!!

Ironies...

Ironies... life is sure full of them!
Like yesterday... I updated my status like 30 times on facebook and then admitted I was addicted to it and that I needed to stop.  I also said it was too accessible by my phone.  Then this morning, my internet wasnt working on my phone.  Apperantly our carrier is having issues.  And its still not working... lol!  Not so accessible this morning.
And here's another one:  I have been praying and debating about getting a job.  I want to becuase Im bored staying at home all day... and really, I could work from 9-3 Tues.- Friday and wouldnt hurt Madi at all!! And since we dont have any other kids right now, and havent gotten any calls in a long time, I figured why no.  So today I decided that i was going to go put in applications at a few places around town and just see what would happen.  I got myself all dolled up (ok, so i did my hair and put some makeup on and actually paid attention to what I was wearing) and went to get in the car.  Put the key in and.... nothing.  So I had to call my mom and have her come to give me a jump.  And nothing.  So either the battery or the alternator or starter or something.  Ugh.  But then I got a call this afternoon with a referral for a baby who is medically fragile and has a failure to thrive diagnosis.  We said yes, but the county has to pick if we get her or not.  So if I had gone tody and gotten a job, i would have had to quit!  Ironic.
And the car thing leads me to another one.  Ive been telling Mike we desperatly need another vehicle and he agrees, but money is tight and we cant afford much at all.  So then the car breaks today, just when we decided to go ahead an persue an inexpensive van.  Oh my.  Now what! lol!!

Well, if I wasnt a Christian, I would be singing that old Alanis Morrisette song, Isnt it Ironic (ok, I still am singing it), but I am a Christian and I KNOW this is all God.  I know God didnt want me to go for a job today... He wants me to be available for these poor kids who need us.  I still dont know what the whole car thing means, but IM just gonna trust Him.  He knows our needs and is faithful to provide!!  And the phone thing... I wasnt so obsessive about it today... and I may have gotten a little more "Jesus time" in, but im not sure.. I didnt look at the time when I started... but either way, being "unplugged" for a few hours is always good!!!

But UGH, what a day!!!!