Just wanted to say Happy Memorial day to everyone.. what a day. I got a chance to explain the day to the girls... and we listened to "Proud to be an American"... yea, oldy, but I suppose, a goody. Madi really enjoyed learning about the day and then listening to the song becuase Papal (my mom's dad who passed away in October) served in WW2 and she really loved Papal and misses him tons. She said that she felt like when we sang that song we were honoring (big word... thanks to childrens church... they know what that word means!) Papal and all he did for us, and she said we were honoring God too. When I asked her how we were honoring God... she couldnt put it into words, but I think she got it.
I was sad... I couldnt find the flags to put out. We have mini flags to line the sidewalk, and also a cute star wreath that is red white and blue. But I moved them this winter, and I couldnt find them. :o(
Ah well.. we remember those who served and who are serving even without the flags!!
We had a BUSY BUSY weekend!! Saturday we went to Mimi's birthday party at my grandmas and had a ton of fun. The girls played outside all day.. the street outside my grandmas was COVERED in chalk! haha! :o)
Sunday, we went to Virginia to my best friends house to celebrate her daughters 1st birthday... it was so fun... but SOOOOO hot! lol!! I enjoyed being a part of that big day. Being a part of their lives... ROCKS!!!!
Then today Mike had to work (poo.. but yay for holiday pay, PLUS overtime), so I took the girls to the pool, in between storms! We had fun and all the kids CRASHED early tonight.
It was a great weekend and I loved the time we got to spend with the kids. We have some great leads on houses... all in our price range, and some with 4 bedrooms!! Woot woot!! I know God has something great for us, and I cant wait to find it!!
Ok.. time to go... I am going to snuggle up with my honey and watch a movie!! :o)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
MED CHECK!
Haha.. we need a med check in this family. For Madi, for Jay, and yup... for me! Oh my. Last night had moments of fun... but others long spells of tantrums. Even one from Jay. (Jay does really need some meds, but we are waiting for a super slow system to agree for her to get an eval for ADHD).
Some of Madi's tantrums lately are stemming from an intense fear of spiders. Its that time of year. We have spiders in the basement sometimes... and the kids go down stairs to the basement to go out and play. But instead of freaking out like most kids who are afraid, she screams and yells, and hits, and kicks, and demands you kill it now. Before you even have a chance to react to it, she is kicking and hitting. YEsterday I was sitting on the couch blogging while Jay finished her reading homework and Madi went to go downstairs and all of sudden, she screams and launches herself on me, landing on the laptop and hitting me in the mouth. She is yelling, kill it, kill it and screaming sooooo loud, I know you can hear it outside, even with the windows closed. I try to calm her down and have her get off of me so I can go kill it, but as soon as I try to move she thinks I am going to make her to go to the spider and she starts kicking and flailing her arms, result in more bruises on momma, and a cut on my hand.
It is so overwhelming.
It breaks my heart... yet makes me so angry. Yea, even angry at her sometimes. We arent talking abot tarantulas or black widows. These puppys are daddy long leggers, or even just plain ole little ones like Charlotte. I try to be understanding, but its so hard when your shins and knees are bruised... that kid can kick!!!
Sigh.
On to a positive thing: today we are going to my grandmas house to celebrate Memorial Day and my mom's birthday. The kids call my mom Mimi.
I know we will have fun... I am going to set up a sprinkler, and she loves on a street that isnt busy at all in a small devolpment, so the kids can play soccer in the street.
And tomorrow... we are headed to VA to my best friends house. Its her adorable daughters 1st birthday party!!! This is the first time we will be able to celebrate birthdays with them... they are the ones who lived in Illinois. I am so blessed that God moved them closer. Instead of like 16 hours, its only 2. YAY! :o)
Some of Madi's tantrums lately are stemming from an intense fear of spiders. Its that time of year. We have spiders in the basement sometimes... and the kids go down stairs to the basement to go out and play. But instead of freaking out like most kids who are afraid, she screams and yells, and hits, and kicks, and demands you kill it now. Before you even have a chance to react to it, she is kicking and hitting. YEsterday I was sitting on the couch blogging while Jay finished her reading homework and Madi went to go downstairs and all of sudden, she screams and launches herself on me, landing on the laptop and hitting me in the mouth. She is yelling, kill it, kill it and screaming sooooo loud, I know you can hear it outside, even with the windows closed. I try to calm her down and have her get off of me so I can go kill it, but as soon as I try to move she thinks I am going to make her to go to the spider and she starts kicking and flailing her arms, result in more bruises on momma, and a cut on my hand.
It is so overwhelming.
It breaks my heart... yet makes me so angry. Yea, even angry at her sometimes. We arent talking abot tarantulas or black widows. These puppys are daddy long leggers, or even just plain ole little ones like Charlotte. I try to be understanding, but its so hard when your shins and knees are bruised... that kid can kick!!!
Sigh.
On to a positive thing: today we are going to my grandmas house to celebrate Memorial Day and my mom's birthday. The kids call my mom Mimi.
I know we will have fun... I am going to set up a sprinkler, and she loves on a street that isnt busy at all in a small devolpment, so the kids can play soccer in the street.
And tomorrow... we are headed to VA to my best friends house. Its her adorable daughters 1st birthday party!!! This is the first time we will be able to celebrate birthdays with them... they are the ones who lived in Illinois. I am so blessed that God moved them closer. Instead of like 16 hours, its only 2. YAY! :o)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Back to Normal?
It seems that we are back to "normal". This morning, I went to get Madi up and she was awake already... and in her bed... not playing with anything. YAY! :o) Momma was proud!
Friday and Saturday nights are the worst part of Mikes new schedule! Instead of doing something on those nights, like we used to, he works. But tonight I have decided to make it a fun night even without the big Poppa.
We are going to make homemade french bread pizza, play outside, maybe do a craft and watch a movie.
Ok... maybe scratch all that. After I typed that sentence Madi freaked out. I just got cut, scratched and kicked.
I dont know how much more of this I can take. Wow.
Friday and Saturday nights are the worst part of Mikes new schedule! Instead of doing something on those nights, like we used to, he works. But tonight I have decided to make it a fun night even without the big Poppa.
We are going to make homemade french bread pizza, play outside, maybe do a craft and watch a movie.
Ok... maybe scratch all that. After I typed that sentence Madi freaked out. I just got cut, scratched and kicked.
I dont know how much more of this I can take. Wow.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Needing some advice...
I need some advice...
I love my mom. She has done some really great stuff for us and has been there through some rough times, but she is cronically late. Not just a little late. Like, late enough to miss stuff.
I even tell her the time to be somewhere is 1/2 earlier than neccessary, and she is still late. Like today. I am waiting for her to take the kids to ballet so I can go to an audition. I asked her to be here at 5. It takes her about 30 mins to get from her house to mine. She just called and said she just left. Its 5:10.
When we dedicated Madi her lateness made my aunt and grandma and her miss the actual dedication.
Its already gotten old. I am so frustrated, but I feel as though I need to be sensitive because my mom is dealing with A LOT. I want to have grace, but I am feeling like I cant rely on her anymore. Should I tell her to be somewhere an hour early??!?!?!?!
I have expressed to her that I am frustrated and she always has an excuse.
I want to be Jesus with skin on to her, but sometimes her being late makes me or the kids late.
I need some advice. Cause I do love my mom... a lot.
I love my mom. She has done some really great stuff for us and has been there through some rough times, but she is cronically late. Not just a little late. Like, late enough to miss stuff.
I even tell her the time to be somewhere is 1/2 earlier than neccessary, and she is still late. Like today. I am waiting for her to take the kids to ballet so I can go to an audition. I asked her to be here at 5. It takes her about 30 mins to get from her house to mine. She just called and said she just left. Its 5:10.
When we dedicated Madi her lateness made my aunt and grandma and her miss the actual dedication.
Its already gotten old. I am so frustrated, but I feel as though I need to be sensitive because my mom is dealing with A LOT. I want to have grace, but I am feeling like I cant rely on her anymore. Should I tell her to be somewhere an hour early??!?!?!?!
I have expressed to her that I am frustrated and she always has an excuse.
I want to be Jesus with skin on to her, but sometimes her being late makes me or the kids late.
I need some advice. Cause I do love my mom... a lot.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
WHat a day...
So this afternoon I started this post talking abot how I felt better after some prayer, a nap, and the frosting of like a gajillion mini cupcakes. I was talking about how I was all ready to have a great afternoon with Madi, when the roof caved in. Madi and I had THE worst afternoon/evening together in a long long long time. If you've been following for awhile, you might remember how I was at my wits end with her this summmer/fall. Today was a day that made me feel like I did back then. It was a mess. She was a mess... and I actually lost it and was a mess too.
We didnt go to gymnastics, we didnt have a whole lot of fun, and it didnt feel much like a birthday till about 8:15 pm.
When everyone finially calmed down... including this emotional momma, we did eat cupcakes and opened presents and daddy even got out the silly string. We took some pictures and even laughed a bit.
As I sat in my self induced timeout, allowing the cool dark air of our bedroom to spread over me, I just asked,God why is she doing this? What is making her resort to these behaviors I thought we had conquered?
I didnt get a light bulb, or a big booming voice... but as I laid on my bed crying, I remembered reading about how birthdays and holidays are big triggers for kids who have been abused. Or neglected. Or adopted. Madi was all three. I think that this day made her miss her bio-siblings. It probably made her think about past birthdays... and who knows what happened to her on those days. It probably made her miss her bio-parents. Maybe even made her miss her other foster family. There was a lot to miss. A lot to mourn and grieve, and a little kid who just doesnt know how to do that.
Even so... understand what she is feeling... understand what is possibly making her act so crazy... doesnt seem to make dealing with it any easier.
I think its really hard becuase I know how awesome she is. I know how sweet and tender she can be. I know how she wants to be good... how she wants to do what the Bible says. I know that personality that can make the sun shine of the rainiest of days. Today I missed my little girl. Today it felt like some crazy bad screaming monster was dressed as my daughter.
Hopefully tomorrow my little girl will be back. My 9 year old girl. Wow. 9. Its hard to beleive... especially since she looks 5 or 6!!
We didnt go to gymnastics, we didnt have a whole lot of fun, and it didnt feel much like a birthday till about 8:15 pm.
When everyone finially calmed down... including this emotional momma, we did eat cupcakes and opened presents and daddy even got out the silly string. We took some pictures and even laughed a bit.
As I sat in my self induced timeout, allowing the cool dark air of our bedroom to spread over me, I just asked,God why is she doing this? What is making her resort to these behaviors I thought we had conquered?
I didnt get a light bulb, or a big booming voice... but as I laid on my bed crying, I remembered reading about how birthdays and holidays are big triggers for kids who have been abused. Or neglected. Or adopted. Madi was all three. I think that this day made her miss her bio-siblings. It probably made her think about past birthdays... and who knows what happened to her on those days. It probably made her miss her bio-parents. Maybe even made her miss her other foster family. There was a lot to miss. A lot to mourn and grieve, and a little kid who just doesnt know how to do that.
Even so... understand what she is feeling... understand what is possibly making her act so crazy... doesnt seem to make dealing with it any easier.
I think its really hard becuase I know how awesome she is. I know how sweet and tender she can be. I know how she wants to be good... how she wants to do what the Bible says. I know that personality that can make the sun shine of the rainiest of days. Today I missed my little girl. Today it felt like some crazy bad screaming monster was dressed as my daughter.
Hopefully tomorrow my little girl will be back. My 9 year old girl. Wow. 9. Its hard to beleive... especially since she looks 5 or 6!!
Birthday No-Go
Last night, Mike and I spent a huge chunk of time... our quiet together time, making tons of cupcakes for Madi to have at school and gymnastics, and then we decorated the whole kitchen/dining room in a tropical, hawaian-y, beachy theme. It looks so cute and festive (yea, and tacky... but she's 9, so it was definetly up her alley).
So, needless to say, I was super excited to sneak into Madi's room and sit on her bed and say "Wake up birthday girl!" TO give her a big hug and wish her lots of love and tell her how much she rocks! Then pick out some clothes and do something special to her hair.
SIGH. Didnt happen. Bubble burst.
I went to sneak in quietly.... but instead of seeing a peaceful sleeping princess, someone was out of bed and playing with her night light. Gr. We have one rule for the mornings, born out neccessity, you stay in bed and try to go back to sleep until Momma gets you up. This rule came about when Madi would get up very early and start getting into things in the bathroom (like cleaning supplies... ack!!!).
I dont know why, but it made me so angry. I went into my bathroom and just cried. I was so sad... I really wanted to surprise her and make it a morning to remember. I was disappointed. I was let down. Stinkin adhd. Stinkin stinkin stinkin.
Well... Happy Birthday Madi. :o/
So, needless to say, I was super excited to sneak into Madi's room and sit on her bed and say "Wake up birthday girl!" TO give her a big hug and wish her lots of love and tell her how much she rocks! Then pick out some clothes and do something special to her hair.
SIGH. Didnt happen. Bubble burst.
I went to sneak in quietly.... but instead of seeing a peaceful sleeping princess, someone was out of bed and playing with her night light. Gr. We have one rule for the mornings, born out neccessity, you stay in bed and try to go back to sleep until Momma gets you up. This rule came about when Madi would get up very early and start getting into things in the bathroom (like cleaning supplies... ack!!!).
I dont know why, but it made me so angry. I went into my bathroom and just cried. I was so sad... I really wanted to surprise her and make it a morning to remember. I was disappointed. I was let down. Stinkin adhd. Stinkin stinkin stinkin.
Well... Happy Birthday Madi. :o/
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Ugh. :o)
Well... we are moving again. Ugh. I. HATE. MOVING. Yeah. But, our lease is up and the bottom line is this place is just 2 expensive for us, and we have no yard. :o( Its a "Luxury" community and therefor more expensive than your average 3 bedroom townhome. We have a pool and a gym and its a nice nice neighborhood. I think (no... I know) that we can find a 3 bedroom house for less. We are hoping for a 3 bedroom (or more... please more.. lol) for $200 or $300 less than we are paying now. Or hey... $500 less... lol. A girl can dream... and pray... and hope... and know that the God who has cattle on a 1,000 hills has a house for us. Yup. He does. :o)
The nice thing is... we have as much time as we needvto find a home. Our lease is up at the end of July and we dont have to resign, so we really arent in a hurry.
So pray with us that we find the right home... in the right neighborhood... and that everything is just RIGHT!
The nice thing is... we have as much time as we needvto find a home. Our lease is up at the end of July and we dont have to resign, so we really arent in a hurry.
So pray with us that we find the right home... in the right neighborhood... and that everything is just RIGHT!
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