Sunday, June 27, 2010

Pool Time

Gotta love summer fun...

We are blessed to have a free pool in our community... and we havent been there a ton yet, so today we went for the afternoon!!!

We had a blast... except for the pool nazi. OH MY.  Why must people create drama?!?!?
Our pool has no life guard and only a few posted rules.  ya kno... no running, no rough housing, ect.

There is a person there at all times to check our pool passes to make sure no one comes that isnt supposed to.  Well, it seems that the person on duty today (and it seems, thelast few times we have been there too), has decided to begin to enforce rules that I didnt know exsisted.

One time when we were there, she told some kids playing Marco/Polo that they were being to loud and the whole neighborhood could hear them.  Um... so? And really, they werent that loud.  When we arrived today, you could FEEEEEL the tension.  She was telling some kids to stop playing with their ball.  Huh?  Why?  Their parents were like, um, no. Then she TOOK the kids ball.  One of the boys was abot 4 and started to cry.  Really, lady? 
Then she told another mom that her raft was too big.  Once again, HUH?  No one else seemed to mind. 
Then the parent of the kids with the ball, took the ball back and started playing with it.  She came over and started yelling at them... keep in mind, she is about 20.  Yelling at grownups about rules that dont exsist.  Sigh.

Eventually, a lot of the growups just kind of ganged up on her and said, we are having fun, we are keeping our kids safe, no one is getting hurt, and no one is having any issue with anyone else.
She called her mom who is the leasing agent for our community.  When ehr mom came, the ball was in the pool, as was the "too large raft" was being used again... and she said nothing.  I felt like I wanted to say something to this girl.  Tell her, its ok.... we are being safe...  Its ok.  You can relax.  I wanted to reassure her, and comfort her.  I wanted her to know we didnt hate her, but she was making pool time not very fun.
But in the end, I said nothing. 

Oh well.

We had fun anyways.  We played with our beach balls and other little balls.  We dove for rings, jumped in the inner tube, and laughed a lot.

It was a goooooood day!!

Friday, June 25, 2010

A Dream

I always wake up right after Mike leaves for work, go to the bathroom, open my door a crack to listen for waking kids and then lay back down.  I almost always go back to sleep... thankfully... even though its that, "one ear open cause Im a momma" kinda sleep.
This morning my sleep included lots of dreams.  Or maybe just one continual dream.
I cant remember the specifics, but I know I was back at my childhood church, sitting in the balcony.  Someone famous... like an actor on some crime drama (I think... I cant totally rememeber) was leading worship and I remember bragging about that.  He was singing a song that I think I wrote... but as I woke up singing it, I think maybe it is one I heard on the radio... but I cant totally place it.  Anyways.. I was sitting there and raised my hand in worship, but there was a very very powerful fan blowing right at my hand from the sound booth and it blew my hand down.  It felt like when you put your hand out of the window in the car going 80 down the highway.
Then.. "MOMMY, Im hungry."  RIGHT in my face.  Stink.. I so want to know how that dream ended.  But, as I said, I woke up singing that song, almost being able to SEE the chords.  Now, tho, i cant even think how the tune went.  A lil boy peed through his diaper.  A lil girl needed some lovies.  Another girl needed more sleep, and the last girl needed food. 

Hmm... I wonder what this dream means.. if anything.


Oh, it seems like we will have the kids through the weekend.  :oD

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Provision!

SO thankful for my momma.  Really.  She is letting us use her van tonight through Sunday.  Without her van, we cant go anywhere without Mike home.  Without the van, we have to take 2 cars everywhere.... and since we are 30 mins from family and friends, that adds up quick.

My lovely wonderful bloggy friends... we need our own van.  But we are so tight with money right now, to get one could only be a God-thing.

Pray with us please?  I have been feeling a little "stuck" here these past few days.  Thankfully, we can go to the park tomorrow and some yard sales on Saturday... all becuase my mom is generous and kind! :o)

Praising God in advance for HIS generous provision!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Some Random Thoughts; From My Brain To Yours

Why do kids always seem to know JUST when I about to ask them to do chores!?
     *Seriously.... I was just about to ask the girls to do the dishes and clean the floor when they darted out of the house to play outside. Ahh, the chores can wait... let em play!!

Why is it that they always have a question everytime I have to go potty!?
     *EVERY time I go to the bathroom... every. single. time. someone wants something!!

Why is that birds are chirping prettily most of the day... and then when I sit by the open window on the phone, they start shrieking and going CRAZY?
   
Why is it that 2 girls cant get a long better than 3 girls?

Why is it that the dog scratches at the door when there are no kids in sight to take her out?


Lol.. oh my. its been one of those days!!! Nothing horrid, nothing crazy... just lots of little things that are distracting me from the big picture... Jesus!! But... thats kind of to be expected on summer break! :o) Oh..and no pool today becuase it overcast and they are forcasting strong thunderstorms... possibly all day. We havent had one yet, but Id rather just stay home and get other stuff done.

We also had the caseworkers here today for the ISPs.  Its totally an easy peasy thing, but Im still just glad its over.  And as always, after the caseworkers are here, Kiki is a mess.  Grumpy, mean, funky, and rude to Madi.  Madi is TRYING to take it in stride, but its tough on her.  She finially just gave up and came up around the front to play with chalk after trying to play with it around back with Kiki.  Im glad she gave up... she usually has much more fun by herself when Kiki is in these moods. 

Well.. there is about 2 hours worth of paperwork on the table... a little girl who wants mama to at least come sit outside with her... and a dinner that needs prepped.
Yummm.... my special seasoned burgers and baked potatos on the grill with some homemade strawberry something.. not sure what I will make, but these local strawberries are calling my name!! :o)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Spiritual Hedgehogs


Oh man, ladies.  THANK YOU from the bottom of this momma's heart for the encouragement!! I wasnt down about it... but your words still lifted me up!! :o)

We had a better day today... yesterday we had dropped Jay off at a week long camp for foster kids and I think that affected both girls more than I realized.

Here is something that made me smile:

Daddy always prays before bed.. its our thing.  He decided to be silly and say, Im not praying and was teasing Madi about it.  She looked at him and said "Daddy, your the spiritual hedgehog of this house, you better pray!"

OH MY.... I LOST it.  I was laughing so hard, the Pug started barking and was checking on me to make sure I wasnt being hurt.  Oh... love it.  She is full of stuff like this.. becuase she listens to a lot of adult conversations and wants to be an adult, so she tries to repeat what she hears.  We have a whole list of "Madi-isms".  Some day soon, I will have to post that list... its too funny!!

Heres one of my favorite Madi-isms:

Ca-Nas-Ter-Nation:  Conversation
"Mommy, I was trying to have a canasternation with Tink, but she ran away. "  (Tink is the dog, by the way..haha!)

Getting over it?

I posted a status on facebook yesterday.  And I got a snarky comment on someone elses status in response.  Dont know if this person reads my blogs... and I guess I dont really care, but I wanted address the thought behind the snarkiness.  Not in a defense, or nastily... just felt like a lot of people just dont "get it".


My status was about our day.. all we did and what we were going to be doing that evening.  At the end, I said, "and Madi is off her meds, so it made all this stuff seems longer, harder, and more stressful."
I was then accused of "playing the victim".  And I "signed up for it, so get over it".

I dont think even the most educated foster prent knows what they are truly getting into when they "sign up for it".  But thats not even the point.

When Madi is on her meds, she is not a normal child.  It does not make her suddenly become this perfect, wonderful raised from birth child.  Its not a magic pill.  Even on her meds, she doesnt do much cause and affect thinking, she is super impulsive, she interupts constantly, cries easily, gets her feelings hurt all the time, is obbsessive about things and is super super super paranoid and scared.  Like more scared than you and I can imagine.  But, she is more focused, she can do things for a longer period of time, has more reasoning skills, and is much less mean becuase she is much less frustrated at life.  But, she also is more distant and doesnt give as much "lovies".

When Madi is not on her meds, like now, she is the poster child for ADHD, attatchment disorders, and the affect of abuse and neglect on a kid.  She is mean and nasty.  Angry a lot.  She is so hyper, she cant sit still and cant focus at all.  She is not at all logical, interupts constantly, is ridiculously impulsive, repeats almost everything you say and she does things she knows she isnt supposed to do, becuase she has absolutly no cause and affect thinking.  But she isnt scared of much.  She does give tons of lovies, and she has more life in her eyes.

Either way... Madi is not an easy child.  She will never be an easy kid.  Thats just the way it is.  Its stressful to be the one who constantly has to keep her on track becuase she cant keep herself on track.  Especially without meds.  It makes the days longer... it makes every task you do with her a stressful task.  But... its ok.  Im not really complaining.  Im not saying I wish it wasnt different, Im just saying that I cand eal with.  I am dealing with it, and will continue to deal with until I die becuase she is my child and I am commited to helping her.  So when I post a frustrating... its ok.  Im ok.  Its just life!  God has given us this kid and we prayerfully parent her.  We look to God when things are easy and when they get rough.  Its Godly wisdom that we strive for.  But God made me... me... so He knows that I may need to vent sometimes and that I need Grace as much as the next momma... probabaly more!!

Side note... Madi is off her meds becuase we are going to try a new one to try to get rid of the extreme paranoia and fear.  Its so bad, its actually going into a psychosis... its hard to explain if you havent seen it, so Im not even going to try.  We are letting her system get back to normal.. drug free before starting her on a new med.  She has her appt next Tuesday.

I think that no matter how many blogs I post, and and status' I update, you will never be able to understand without being there.  Without having done this.  Parenting a child like Madi is an experience I will never have the words to adequetly express.  So, please... dont judge us.  Dont judge the special needs parents either.  I may yell at her.. and I may sometimes seem like a crazy lady with her, but she is safe and happy and healthy and that makes me a good momma.

Right now there is a case in the PA legal system that is about 2 parents who possibly beat and starved there russian-born son.  There are days when I ball my fists in frustration to keep me from smacking Madi, but I would never abuse her.   So, Im not playing the victim.. I am the victor in JESUS.  I did sign up for this, but the day I "get over it" is the day I dont care... and then what kind of parent would I be?!  :o) 

Friday, June 11, 2010

Playing Catch Up

Oh my... instead of having a fun lazy First Friday of Summer... I am playing catch up while the girls play outside.  Sigh. 

Its amazing how big the laundry piles can get when no one does anything to them except ADD to them.

Its amazing how many cups sick people go through that now need washed.

Its amazing how dusty a house can get when you miss you regular Wednesday cleanings.

Its amazing how much mulch kids can drag in when momma isnt at the door to remind them to brush off their feet before entering.

Its amazing how filthy a kitchen can get when momma is sleeping upstairs.

Its amazing how normally responsible kids "forget" to do there daily chores for 3 whole days.

AND its amazingly amazing how much dog hair can accumulate in a week!!!  WOW!


Yea... my kids spent a good chunk of the morning doing their forgotten chores.  Not Madi... since she was sick, she just had to do her normal daily chores.  We have a chore chart so the kids cant say they forgot what chores they are supposed to do.  Mike did Madi's for her on Wednesday and Thursday, but the girls didnt do ANYTHING while I was down.  I was a little frustrated.  Im ok now.

So... Im playing catch up... instead of playing catch with the kids.  Its ok... I probably shouldnt over do it anyways!!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Bitter Sweet....

Today was Madi's last day of school.  WHile this is definitly cause for celebration, it is also a bit of a sad day.

Madi has had some AMAZING people in her life this year.  Her teacher, Miss K, is someone who I think will be a friend for life.  The principal, Mrs.H, has shown us compassion and mercy and give us huge doses of encouragement.  And thats just those two!!  Dee Dee's teacher, Mrs. S.  Wow.  There arent words for her.  Seriously!!  These women have shown Madi that there are wonderful people in this world.  People who will build her up, not tear her down.  Love her, and not abuse her.  This year has re-enforced everything that Mike and I have tried to teach her. 

But, we are excited for next year.  We are super stoked to start homeschooling!! I am so looking forward to being my new career as a teacher!! :o) Its always so fun to be a full-time momma over the summer, and now I get to be one ALL THE TIME!

I still havent found the cirriculum I want to use yet... but thankfully, I have time. My hope is to start homeschool in July... but with moving, I dont know.  And, yea, no really news on that yet... ugh.  :o)

Sick!!!!

Man oh man.... after a long, fun-filled weekend with my best friend and her wonderful family, Madi and I ended up sick.

Last night I started to feel very sick and eventually threw up, and then Madi did the same about 5 mins later.  It was about 11:30, and after that her and I kept throwing up until about 9 or 10 this morning.  After Madi was done throwing up, she fell asleep and woke up feeling fine (PRAISE GOD!).  I, on the other hand, finshed throwing up and still feel horrible.  I have an off and on again fever and feel so very tired and run down and like I got beat up!!  Oh my...  I am not the best patient... I want to be the one taking care of others, not the one being taken care of.  But Mike has been amazing!!! He has been cleaning up and taking care of us without complaining. 

****Ok, I wrote that last night, (6/9), but couldnt finish the post because I started to feel very very sick again.  I laid down and felt better, but then I slept most of the evening, so I never finished it.   Around 9 last night, my pain just began to escalate and I was in soooooo much pain, I couldnt sleep, and I felt like I couldnt even breathe.  Thank goodness I had some tylenol with codene... I took some and as soon as it kicked in, I slept 4 straight hours!!!  :o)

I do feel better today, still TONS of pain...but thank you JESUS for the meds!  Miss Madi is totally back to normal... I love that she bounced back so quickly!  She went to school today... last day... but thats another post. 

Man, what a miserable day yesterday was.... thank the Lord its over!!

Time to make the kids lunch... I dont think Ill be eating anything yet.. the idea of food still isnt my favorite thing to think about!! :o)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Summer!!!

Summer! :o)
I love summer time.  The pool, bonfires, smores, the beach, walks, kids being home, bike rides, and water fights.  Its good stuff.

Today, I was making my big monthly mental grocery list when I realized that my grocery bill was going to blow up.

REALLY Blow up.

You see... as a foster family, we are super blessed by the school system. Our kids get free breakfast AND lunch.  Every.  Single. Day. 

So my grocery bill has been only providing my kids with dinner 7 days a week and breakfast and lunch 2.  So 33 meals a week.  Now... it will be.. oh hang on, I need a calculator for this.... 63 meals a week. Thats a lot.

So...homeschool moms... what do you feed your kids for lunch and breakfast that is cheap and easy?  Cereal is actually expensive...and not the healthiest option.  Jay and Kiki dont like jelly, so they only eat P.B. sandwiches.  Lunch meat can get costly too.

On another note... my photography business has been picking up a little, and thats a blessing.  I LOVE photography.  I love taking pics... capturing memories.  It makes me happy.  Its like... music and photography are 2 things that God has given me to help make me....me!  I just a birthday party and 1 yr old shoot, and it was a blast.  'Course... being that it was my best friends... it could be no less that fun!
Here are some of my fav pics from the shoot:








Yup... that is one gorgeous little girl! :o)

Oh, and I have to give a shout out to my Handsome Hubby...
THANKS BABY!!

He fixed my puter.  I now am running speadily along with Windows 7!!
My puter had some serious issue back around Christmas and we took to get it fixed, it cost $105 and was only the START of many many issues.  Grrr.  But Mike finially fixed it.  I lost some older pics, but I do have the best of those pics saved online, so its not a total loss.
So thanks honey... you rock.  :o)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

EUREKA!

Oh I wish finding a house was as easy as finding the one you like and yelling EUREKA and its yours.  Seriously.

Today we found one.  It is an old farm house... refurbished with all the ammenties you want today.. including a DISHWASHER... a big deal for this momma.
 The owners of the house own the 6+ surrounding acres, and have 2 other rental properties on the land.  It has tons of shade trees, and open fields and a creek!
4 bedrooms, 2 baths, in the right area.  Yup... I love it.  There is so much more.  So many more features that I like. 

Of course there are cons, but to me, the pros outweigh them.  I havent seen the inside of the house yet, but I will next Saturday. 

Because of how nice the house is and all the land and stuff there is a lot of interest and our credit is not so hot.  :o(  So I am trying not to get my hopes up.  One thing does work in our favor... the owners went to Christian School with my mom and aunts.  Maybe that will swing things in our favor!! 

I am still looking though... I dont want to put all my eggs in this basket and its that wrong one!!  We just want what God wants... His will, HIs house. 
Even Madi gets it... she said to me that God has our house already picked out.  Love that kid!!