But... I wanted to take a few moments to share what God is doing.
Our house has been so stressul ever since the middle of December. That was K & J's one year anniversayr in foster care. A journey that should have only taken a month... not a year. They had been told many times that after a year, the judge will not be happy with mom and will probably change their goal from going home to adoption. We had never put time lines on things like that, but other had. They also have a lot family members (cousins, etc) that have been in foster care and eventually adopted out. This info has produced a lot of fear and worry for K (who is 13), which makes her irratable, disreceptful, unkind, and makes her think she has the right to do and say whatever she wants and to treat us all like dirt.
I tent to internalize things like this. Since MIke works late, I am the one who takes the brunt of her garbage and I have to deal with the kids argueing and allt he hurt feelings she creates in the younger two. That combined with some health issues left me battleing depression. After MIke and I went away for a few days on our anniversary, we made some major decisions about things. That combined with some intimate time with Jesus and the changes we had already started making have helped me climb out of that hole.
On the church front... we have been leading worship about once a month or so. Mike does sound every other week, and I sing backup on occasion with other leaders. Another thing we have been doing is leading worship for the Spanish church that uses our churches building. That has been a great thing for us... it stretches me and makes me rely more and more on God becuase I dont fully understand what is being said when the pastor speaks or someone prayers. We have been making some amazing friendships with people at church.. as well as with old friends. Im hoping to start going to a Bible study with some of the women at church, but its been canceled due to snow or bad roads for 3 weeks now... and this week, I was in a lot of pain and needed a morning to relax.
As far as my business... Igave it to God and asked Him to do HIs will with it and He is blessing it!! I have had a couple shoots already this year... and some are very different than your typical family shoot. I have done one shoot for a womens ministry's website, and am doing another one this weekend. I also am photographing a whole womens conference in 2 weeks! Woot Woot! I know I will be blessed getting to hear what is being said at the conference as well as then being paid to do something I love. Perfect!! :o) I also just booked a wedding where I am being paid in WEBSITE! Lol. The groom has a web design business, so he is working on my very own site right now! Oh, it makes me so excited!
Behavioraly... Madi is doing much better now that we are away from all the stress of the holidays. She still has her fits and moments, but she is improving all the time. Emotionally, Madi is at a standstill with recognizing what emotion she is feeling beyond happy sad and mad. But Im not pushing the issues to much... we have just been trying to remember to talk freely about what we are feeling in hopes that the dialog and communication helps her to see that its ok to talk about emotions, its ok to feel them, and to decipher the different ones.
I think thats about it for now. I am going to leave you today with a few more pictures:
My beautiful old house. It doesnt look so old.. but it was built in 1782!
And this is the view from my side porch. Those words.... oh man. God has been wispering them to me in a million ways lately!!
Love you, superstar! How would you feel about getting together sometime before the end of February??
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