Pictures!!

Our Christmas Card and family picture this year! Its so hard to get good family photos when your the photographer.  But thanks to my handy dandy tri-pod, I finially got a good one!

And here is my princess.  Oh man, I cant get over how she has grown and how gorgeous she is!!!

So I know I havent posted in a long time and much has happened since then. 

I could blog for DAYS and not cover all of it, but since so much of it is little stuff that isnt super important, here a quick synopsis:

*Our church closed down and restructured and reopened.
*Madi got a new puppy name Princess Calliope, we call her Callie.
*I lost my job during the tranisition.
*Mike lost his job the same week.
*Mike has been on unemployment since July/August.
*We have let our foster care certifacation lapse to take a break.
*We both turned 29.
*God provided for Madi to take UNLIMITED dance classes at her amazing CHRISTIAN studio this year.
*God called us away from our church to the church I grew up in and our last Sunday with the old church is Christmas.
*I know that God has some awesome ministry opporutnities waiting for us at our new church.
*Becuase of the loss of jobs, we lost Mikes good insurance so Madi's state insurance wouldnt cover her meds and we had to switch from Vyvanse to Adderall.
*Madi started having severe stomach pains when we switched meds.  We had testing done and no celiacs or other issues. 
*Then she started breaking out in hives, so we took her off wheat/gluten and they went away, as did the stomach pains.
*We are now waiting for her GI Doc appt and and allergy test.  But she is not eating any wheat or gluten.
*I am in the process of getting all my ducks in a row (so to speak) to start trying to have another baby again soon.
*We are going on a missions trip to Nicaragua in Febuary and God has been providing for that already.  In fact, someone just paid for Madi to get her passport!!

I think thats it.  Ive spent the last week or so that we have had our computer reading all the blogs I follow and I sure have missed a LOT!  Now all we need is some faster internet.  Living out in the country makes getting good service very expensive!

Time for a New 'Do

THE CUT:


POTENTIAL COLORS:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Let then voting begin!!

(Oh... and now that we have a computer that works... I will be blogging more!!)

A Good Wife

I have been spending some time in Proverbs 31 learning about being a good wife.  Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character


10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still night;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her female servants.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
 
There are so many things in there to work for and aspire to.... but check out this little girl:

(Sorry its sideways... I cant figure out how to flip it!)
She saved her birthday money to buy herself a fishing rod and tackle box.  She also has a special fishing hat.  This kid puts the worms on and takes the fish off.  Yup.. she is going to make a GREAT WIFE someday!! Haha.  :o)
 
I am hoping to share more on Proverbs 31, and what God is showing me... but I had to share that first!! :oD

10 Years Old & Already Called

My beautiful baby turned 10 last week. 

Wow.

10.

Dang skippy... Im a momma to a double digit midget!  :o)

And apperantly... God decided that 10 was the age to set her apart and call her for His purposes!!

One day last week, Madi, Mike and I were in the care running errands that tooke us all over the places.  Madi was using the time to talk our ears off.  She was telling us all about a dream she had and what she thought it meant.

Basically.... she said God told her that she was going to be a pastor so she can preach the Word.  She was going to do it in many other countries and she wanted to learn to speak the languages so she could preach to many people.  She was also not going to have ny kids of her own, just adopt a whole bunch.  She also was going to teach her kids to preach and to worship so they could grow up and be ministers.
She said she was going to grow up to be a hero.  She wants to lead people to Jesus.... to help them spiritually, financially, and every other way. 

Thats my kid.  Thats the little human God gave me to raise!!  Talk about a great honor!  Wow.  I am so blessed by her.  And I am so excited for her future.  I cant wait to see what God has in store for her!!!

How He loves!

Mastering transition requires a willingness to identify and let go of exhausted structures and toxic relationships. This clears the way for growth and discovery, and connects you to the deeper currents of the flow of your intended life. That life is fashioned by design rather than default. It is rooted in an atmosphere of acceptance, nurturance, patience, and guidance. It facilitates forward movement and momentum.


Dr. Mark Chironna
 
Im realizing all the junk from when i was a teen is still holding me back. I never felt pretty enough, good enough, talented enough... blah blah blaggghhhh. But I was reminded today that I am to look at myself as Christ sees me.
He sees me as a beautiful women.  A Great mom.  A talented worship leader.  He sees me as the beautiful worthy creation He made. 
 
I will no longer all my past self-perceptions hold me back.  I will no longer allow the past to hinder my future.  I will NO LONGER walk in fear of man.  I will NO LONGER walk in feelings of inadequecies.  I will walk in HIs love.  His image.  His righteousness.  I will walk in HIM!!!! 
 
He has made me, molded me, shaped me, sculpted me, loved me, grew me, called me, equipped me.  HE.  Not I.  Not those who I let make me feel inadequate.  Not the people who I compared my talent to, my face to, my dress to, my hair to.  He alone. 
 
Have you encountered the love of God???  Do you know how He sees you??
 
Give you a hint...... HE LOOOOOVVVEEESSS YOU!  Seriously and completely unashamedly in love with YOU.  Just the way you are.  He made you and He loves you.
 
Wow.  That love and that feeling of knowing that He thinks I am good enough is freeing.  I am free to persue things I might not of persued before.  Transition?  BRING IT ON!  Im ready to walk forward in Him.  I ready to go where He sends, to do what He has called us to do, no matter where it is!!

I Have a Job!

"I have a job."

"Gotta go to work now."

Those are to phrases I havent said in a few years! :o)  But I am proud to say I can say them now! 

My "official" title?

(I chose my title.)

FRONT DESK CHICK

Yup.  Thats me!  I am proud to say that I am now the front desk chick at my church, Faith Alive Community Church.  Its only a few hours a week... and Madi comes with me.  She sits with me (I have a HUGE desk) and does her school work, and then goes out and rides her scooter, or plays soccer in the huge yard, or plays on the play ground equiptment.  She also waters the flowers around the church and helps with any odd jobs that people may ask of her.  She is lovin' it!  I spend my time answering the phones, writing out cards for birthdays, sickness, loss, and thank you cards to visitors.  I also get to make up all the cute "Thank you for visiting" Gift bags! 

I LOVE doing stuff like that!!

I also help do fundraisers for our mission we support in Nicaragua.  I have been having a blast doing all the brainstorming for ideas!!  I have to admit... I came up with some crazy ones... but there were definitly some gems in there too.

On a different note... Madi is doing very well in school.  She is finished with English and Social Studies.  She has 1 small project to complete in Geography, and 5 small chapters to do in Science.  We arent sure yet what all is left in Math, but she is slowly plugging along!

We did hgave to up her dose of her ADHD meds becuase we were starting to see more anxiety, more frustrations, more interuppting, and fidgeting.  She starts the new dose tomorrow, so we will see how that is working. 
When Madi first come to us, she had SEVERE allergies.  Good diet and a cleanly environment seemed to really help to curb those allergies, but this year they seem to be back more than the last 2 years.  We have gotten a some benadryl for her but I am hoping to get a script for zyrtec.  I only want to give her the meds when she needs them.  Her biggest complaint has been itchy eyes... so I think I may also go to the drug store and see about getting some eye drops and see if we can avoid any more meds.

Im also trying to find someone in our town/area who sells local honey.  I have heard that local honey can really help eliminate allergies.  Have any of you tried that??

For me... Im going to the chiropractor on Friday... Im hoping to releave some of this pain in my back and hips.  This chiropractor has experience helping RA sufferes get relief!  Im excited... loL!!!

We are also back on the "trying to concieve" band wagon.  I have lost a good bit of weight, and I know that will help things.  I am also taking chaste tree extract to help my body make more progestorone.

Mike is really hoping to find a new job.  But we are super thankful that he has the one he does.  It is steady and he has no chance of losing it unless he doesnt show up or comes in late a bunch of times.  He just needs something else.  Something that is challenging, and more importantly... fufilling. 

:o)  Oh... and its GORGEOUS out.... again!!  I am loving spending all our free time outside.  Our electric bill is going to next to nothing this month... we hardly ever are inside to turn lights on!! We just light the citronella candles and tiki torches and play games, or sit by a fire.  Its awesome.  I am truly loving our yard!!

Wouldn't Trade It

things i wouldnt trade for the world:


hand picked wild flowers (aka weeds) presented by tiny grubby hands

a fridge covered in drawings, pictures, & calendars

hugs whenever i ask for one, and even when i dont

picnic lunches in the yard

looks of pure love from big brown eyes

playing hookey from homeschool

freckles popping up on a tiny upturned nose after hours playing outside

1,000 "I wonder's" a day

jumping on the trampoline

and hearing "Mommy" from MY daughter. (even for the 100th time that day!)



April in Photos

I havent been writing much lately... and neither has Madi.  WHy??  Well, we have been busy this last month!!   Here... let me show you... these are photos from my cell phone, so excuse the quality!

Fresh cut from my garden.... yup... my actual garden produced these beauties!!  So tending said garden has taken up a lot of our time!

Game time.... in our bed... the only way to go (specially when daddy is sick!)

Ahhhh...a kid after my own heart... chalk drawings of my tropical dream. 

EASTER... :o)

Lots of eggs... she had to find each one of them so that none were missing.  Like the good Shepherd does for all His missing sheep!!  :o)

Piano lessons!!

The start of a new peice of art based on Romans 5

Lots of trampoline time...

Gardening.

Homemade bread making...

Walks in the park.

wHoly Chicken w/ the bffs

Bonfires in the backyard... w/ marshmellows of course!

Story time!

A visit to bass pro shops.

And so many more fun things.  We have been busy.  Add in school, plus a week with the bff and her kiddos, Easter, church, ballet, worship team practices, and we are out of time!!!  But its a great life.  We are so enjoying this spring.  Living out here in the country is amazing... we see pheasants, wild turkeys, all kinds of birds, and we even had our first butterfly sighting of the season yesterday!  I think we have spent all our awake time outside this past week.  Its been wonderful!!  I am feeling super blessed and just super thankful to God for giving us this life!!

Hmmmm... this post could have also been titles... "Why I Love My Life!"

I am a Lazy Mom

Yup.  Ill admit it. Im a lazy mom.

I make my kid clean up after herself.
My Child has chores and responsibilities.
She doesnt "rule the roost".

I want her to be responsible for herself.
I discipline her.
I take care of myself.  (Ok, working on that one)
I teach her by example.

Yup... I'm a lazy mom.  :o)

Read this: http://www.imalazymom.com/2010/09/parenting-lazy-mom-way-what-is-lazy-mom.html


Um... yup.. new favorite blog. 
Basically... if your a momma who doesnt cater to your childs ever whim wish and flighty little want, you might be a lazy mom.
So many parents just do what their kids want.  They want them to be happy ALL the time.  They dont discipline, they dont punish.  They dont give direction or guidance other than "whatever you do is fine as long as your happy".  The kids dont do chores or help around the house or even clean up after themselves.
Then these same parents wonder why their kids are unmotivated, dropping out of college or even high school, pregnant with a criminal record.  Really???
Now, I know thats extreme... but as parents we need to teach our children the value of work.  The value of taking pride in something, like a clean room.  We also need to show our love by using discipline... guidance... and giving direction.  And by doing those things, our children will feel loved, supported, rooted and grounded.  They will grow to be productive happy people.  And they will still be happy children. 

And thats what that blog is about.  If we do EVERYTHING for our kids, what are they learning? Nuffin.

So yea.  Im a lazy mom.  Are you??

Don't Forsake It!!!

One of my favorite quotes about the church is:  Sitting in church doesnt make you a Christian anymore than sitting in a garage would make you a car.

I struggle with the concept that you cant truly be walking with the Lord if you dont go to church.... but is that true??

Yes, I know.. DONT FORSAKE THE GATHERING. I get it... its in the bible. 

But I am not the judge.  Who I am to say that the person who is at church everytime its open is more holy than the one who hasnt set foot in it for years.

Yet.... DONT FORSAKE THE GATHERING glares at me.

I really dont know the end goal of this post... just that I felt like God was saying to me... Dont' Forsake It.  Maybe thats a word for you... maybe its for me (though we go to church... a lot haha...).  But for whatever reason... Don't Forsake It.

Who She Is

First... Thanks Natalie for coming out of stalker-ville... lol!  :o)  Natalie commented on my last blog post and she made me think.

For us adoptive mommas.... most of our babies were born out of wed-lock.  Some even out of rape, incest, or something equally nefarious (ive always wanted an excuse to use that word... found it!).  How do we speak deep into the souls of these babies that they are wanted, worth it, worthy, loved, needed... etc?
That because they were conceieved out of sin that they are not sin?

Madison... my brave sweet girl was a product of an un-wed mother.  She possibly was even the product of incest... we arent sure and never will know... which is ok with us.  As we teach her about absitnence... waiting, purity, modesty... and all of that, we have to be careful how we word things.  As we find out friends... single Christian women with no husbands, or sometimes even boyfriends end up pregnant, we have to guard our words.  And then explain to our curious and full of questions 9 year old why its wrong, but the baby isnt.

Makes me dizzy thinking about it! 

So..heres a basic run down of some of our conversations:

Me: You have to get married before you have a baby.
Madi: T & B (birth parents) weren't married...
Me: Some people arent, but Jesus doesnt want it to be that way.  He says in the bible we should get married then make babies only with our husbands.  Your BPs didnt know Jesus so they dont follow His ways.


Madi:  Is it a sin to have babies before you get married?
Me:  There is something a mommy and daddy have to do to have babies and if you do that before you get married it is a sin.  But if you wait till your married it isnt.
Madi:  Is the baby bad then?  Is that why I'm bad?
Me:  NO!  The baby is still beautiful, wonderful, loved, and important.  You get in trouble and do bad things becuase you make bad choices.  You hvae the ability to be good and make good choices, but you choose the wrong way sometimes.  And just becuase a mommy and daddy made a bad choice, doesnt mean you werent wanted and loved.  Its like you were a suprise gift!
Madi: Huh? (she gives the best Huh? face ever... and does it frequently... lol!)
Me: T & B were walking a long living life and stuff and then they had you.  It was like Christmas morning the day you were born... a big present they didnt expect, but were so happy to have!!
(Then she went and played dressup and made herself into a present and came down and made me open her.  lol... love her!!)

Now these 2 convos were just a snippet of the truth we have tried to pour into her.  In some ways, Madi was fortunate because her BPS didnt give her up... she was taken by C&Y.  If your child was given up by her parents, I think a spirit of rejection can attach itself to the kid.  Even if they cant verbalize it... many kids feel like they werent good enough for their parents to keep.  They feel that if they were better, prettier, smarter, etc then their parents would have kept them.  Madi's BPs tried to keep her... they fought for her.  So I dont think that she feels rejected. 

But... we still are always telling her what she is!

She is:

Loved

Wanted

Adored

Cared For

Safe

Blessed

Chosen

Redeemed

Beautiful

Creative

Talented

Righteous

&

Saved

Our belief is that if we, as her parents... the ones God has chosen to raise her, continually tell her those things. Show her that she is all of that and more...she will believe it and nothing will be able to snatch that self confidence away from her.   And pray those things over her daily.

Thats all we can do.  The rest is up to her and Jesus!!

Really??? Another onE???

Man.... another one.  Another single christian woman pregnant.  When I saw this latest girls announcement... I admit, my first reaction was jealousy. 
Yea... jealousy.  Hey... I want my baby. (Just bein' real).

Then anger.  (Ok, really real.)  I was mad at her, made at God, and mad at myself.

Then some more jealousy.  (Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy!!!)

And then I started to vascillate between the anger, the jealousy, and some sadness and grief.

But somewhere in the midst of my downward spiral to Pitymetowne, I started to feel for the woman.  For the baby.  For the girls family.  For the dreams that girl had.

I know that this woman, who is in her 30s has a missionary calling.  She had spent a year or so in another country doing missions work.... she very frequently goes on short term trips, and loved doing those things.  She even sold her house to rent one with some people so she could be free to go on trips whenever she wanted.

Now I have to wonder... how frequent will those trips be now?  (Not that you cant do missions with kids... not saying it AT ALL). Im sure she has to feel a bit like she is giving up parts of those dreams.  And if she shows up in certain hispanic countries with a baby on her hip and no ring... some of those people will not listen to her. 

I have so much more on my mind about this... so much more to say, but it all keeps sounding judgemental to me.  And thats not the intention behind this.  My intention behind this post is actually about a bigger problem.

I started this blog with the though, ANOTHER ONE becuase this is becoming a big problem in America today.  And before I go further.. yes, these babies are loved and perfectly beautiful and wonderful.  They, themselves are not a mistake or an "oopsie".  They are not sinful.  The babies are not the issue.  They are not a punishment the mother must carry for the rest of her life because of her sin.  They are God's creation.  Beautiful wanted wonderful little peices of humanity.  But the bottom line is that s*xual immorality is a sin.  Premartial s*x is wrong.  And its happeneing in every youth group, every young adult group, every singles group. 
Blame it on too much S*x in the City, or Twilight, 16 and Pregnant or any other show.  Blame it on movies like Juno or Knocked Up, or so many other movies that promote sex for the unwed person.  Blame it on culture or stereotypes.  Blame it hormones, or peer pressure.  Blame it on whatever you want. 

But think for a minute.  When is the last time you heard a messgae from the pulpit about abstinence?  About purity?  About WAITING?  And Im not talking about youth group.  Im talking about adults.  Women whose hormones are settled.  Women who are not in the back seat of their boyfriends parents car of prom night feeling pressure because her bff's have all done it and her boyfriends buddies are egging him on.  These are women with careers, women who now its wrong and probably have told teenage neices and nephews its wrong.  (Sidenote.. these are also women who should be familiar with birth control by now).   I cant even remember the last time purity was brought up in a church we were in. 

So I had to wonder why?

Maybe its taboo and pastors arent wanting to touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Maybe because they are afraid attendence will drop that week.

Maybe because they feel the have "bigger sins" to preach about.

Maybe because s*x has become so embedded in out culture that even pastors have begun to think of it as a right for anyone, not a privilege of the married?


I guess really i dont have tyhe answers.  And thats ok.

But I would really like to see the church encouraging teens, 20 somethings, 30 somethings.... and older to stay pure.  To really be a light and a witness to the world. 

To be SET APART?  To be in the world, but not of it.

To be JESUS.

So Im praying today for those women... for all my single friends. 


(SO im sure there will be some negative fedback.. thats ok.  Just use kind words {as we say to the kids all the time})!!!!!

The Message

I have been trying to get more in the Word lately, but have been feeling a block when it came to me really understanding deep within what I was reading.  I hate to even say it, but it was feeling stale and.... gulp.... boring.  Yes.  I said it.  Ugh... I felt really guilty for feeling that way.  I felt like I was a horrible Christian.  Like God was going to smite me for feeling like that (hmmm... throw back to the AG days?).  So instead of pretending I didnt feel that way, I took it to my Daddy God.  I asked for forgiveness for not loving His word... and then asked Him to show me how to love it.  To teach me how to enjoy my time reading the Bible.  I realized that its not me being a bad christian, its the way I learn and absorb.  Im a story-kinda gal. 
I took a scripture and looked it up on biblegateway.com in different versions.  And the Message version just seemed to come to life to me!!

So I talked to my awesome hubby (who totally gets me and my tangents and rabbit trails and supports them as long as Im on the right trail) and he said lets get a Message Bible and use that as a help to the 20 other versions we have (slight exaggeration, lol).  I got a super cool HOT PINK (yea, I know, Im almost 30, but I have a child-like spirit.... or something) one and have been studying it a lot lately.  I love to compare it to the NIV, because it really makes sense to me.

I was reading about Ruth and all that and I FINIALLY realized why that book was truly important in the bible.  A woman in those times to the Jews wasnt that super important, but she was.  She wasnt even a Jew... and she is a direct part of the lineage of Jesus.  An outsider.  A Gentile.  Because Jesus came for us ALL. 

I could go on and on... but Im just so thankful that our God makes us all so different and then gives us a way to truly understand Him.  To aid us in drawing closer to Him.  

What version of the Bible do you all read and why??

Another Blogger...

For the past few months I have been trying my hardest to find a way to interest Madi in writing.  She love (LOVES) to read, but simply dislikes writing of any kind.  I tried book reports, stories, reports on her favorite animals, and even emails.  Nothing worked.
Nothing.

Then I had an idea to let her have a blog, but she hates typing even more than hand writing, so I dismissed the idea without presenting it to her.  But recently she has started to ask about using the computer more often and read my blog a few times.  She began to be interested in it. 
She would ask to if I posted a picture on Facebook, or ask me to tell about something on Facebook or my blog. 

So I asked her if she wanted to start her own blog.  And I got an emphatic YES! 

Ok.... blogs are all about writing. 

So we started it.  She was tickled pink.  She told everyone about it and got lots of comments on her first 2 posts.  So, its going well, so far. 

I think for her, the best part is the comments (which I read before I let her even see them).  She gets nice little notes from all kinds of peope.... its exciting!!

So far, she has blogged about her, and a scripture of the day.  Who knows what else you will find on there in the future.  :o)

http://pinksparkles9.blogspot.com/

Creation...

Doesnt God create some seriously BEAUTIFUL STUFF!??!?!?

An Only Child?

Madi is an only child again.  This has only been the case for a few months out of her almost 10 years of life.  I wonder how it will go. 

Yesterday, the caseworker came and picked up K & J and took them to their new home.  They were sad.... but ok.  The new family seems nice... and they have a 6 yr old daughter. 

Then Madi went to her first ever sleepover at a friends house since coming to live with us.  I really wondered if this was smart or not... but after talking to the mom this morning... it was good.  She and Grace had tons of fun and are now at the movies together!!  This family is one we see multiple times a week at church... so Madi knows them all very well and they know her... (a big bonus, lol). 

I think for me... it hasnt all sank in yet.  They have gone away for the weekend before... so it kind of just feels like that.  But the rooms are empty.  This old house is very very quiet.  I have to wonder... how long before it is too quiet?  How long before those rooms need filled again?

We are switching agencies... mostly because we want one based in our county... not the next one over.  I hate all the driving involved.. especially when every appointment takes at least an hour to get there.  If they were closer... it woud be so much better!!  So I am researching agencies and trying to let God lead us to the right one.

I have asked myself... and MIke has also asked himself many many times... did we make the right choice?  And overwhelmingly.. the peace floods in and the answer is a big breathy "YES".  Its not easy.  It will not get easier.  But GOD is in control and I put my trust and hope in Him and Him alone.

Closing of a Chapter

After being in a bed all last week with one of the worst colds I have ever had... I decided to nap today while MIke and Madi worked on school.  When my phone rang, MIke just ignored it, thinking that it would be fine until I got up.  Well, apperantly our caseworker has NO patience becuase by the time I woke up and called her back about an hour later the course of the girls lives had been decided with no input from us... their mom and dad for the past year and 3 months. 

K & J will be leaving this Friday.  4 days.
4 days to pack.
4 days to adjust.
4 days to say goodbye.
4 days to give everyone in our lives time to say goodbye.

4 days.

Thats not a lot of time.

Please be in prayer!!!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Time for the big announcement has arrived.  And truthfully... its not that exciting... I just wanted attention.  Haha... just kidding.  Well, kinda.

No.. the big announcement is that K & J are going to be transitioning to a new home.  We have spent the last year & 3 months loving them and trying to show them to walk with Jesus and how much He loves and cares for them, but its time for them to go. 

Its what best for us and for them. 

We just ask that you would pray for them and us in the upcoming transition.

Also... please know that we have spent a long time talking and praying about this and really feel this is first and foremost what God wants for us and them!!!

If you have any questions... please feel to ask.

Market Day

Yesterday's post... Wordless Wednesday feautred pictures from a recent trip my mom and I took with the girls to a local market.  We let the girls each pick a purple fruit or veggie to have a Purple Dinner. 
Madi picked out some purple potatoes, J picked blueberries and K picked... oh wait.  K wouldnt participate.  Again.  Ugh.  What to do with a teen like that?

Well, anyways... we made roasted veggies with the purple potatoes, sweet potatoes carrots, garlic, onions, and mushrooms... and then mixed them with some sour cream and seasonings to make something kinda like a warm potato salad.  And Madi and J LOVED IT!  It was fun teaching them about a new veggie and then showing them that its tasty too.  :o)

The we had blueberry lemonade and blueberry parfaits! 

Oh... and the horse... was just along the side of the road, so my mom pulled over and started talking to it.  She is a crazy wonderful woman. 

How do you interest your kids to new foods and expeirences??

Wordless Wednesday



I wanted to Add...

I wanted to add to my previous post...

After our last miscarriage, the doc said he beleived that if I took progesterone, I should be able to carry full term.  At the time it seemed to simple.  To much fear had entered my heart and was taking over for me to beleive that something so simple could give us a baby.

After some research, I didnt like the side affects and possible issues with the synthetic progestins that I would be taking.

So yesterday, Mike and I went to our local "crazy hippy store" (as Mike calls it).  We are really blessed to have a store that is stocked with TONS of natural, whole foods, guten free products, supplements herbs, and a super knowledgable staff.  I know some of the folks in there are NOT christians, but they really do know a lot about all things herbal and natural and organic and healthy.  The woman I talked to suggested Chaste Tree in a tincture form.  It will actually promote my body to CREATE its OWN progesterone instead of filling it with sythnetic junk. 

So I took my first dose today. 

Please keep us in your prayers.  I can't wait to concieve, carry to full term, and then hold our miracle. :o)

2 am post???

Its 2am... and i cant sleep.  Not really sure why... but I figured Id take the time to write about the awesome-ness that occurred on Sunday.
(That is also my disclaimer... one tired momma, awake @2 am writing.  WHile the story is 100% true... I might sound like a nut by writing it now.  Oh well.  To God be the Glory!)
As the announcements where being done... I was sitting at the keyboard ready to lead worship, when my backup vocalist/extra keys player leaned over to me and said something that took me by major suprise.  This woman has been playing with the other church that uses our building, but I have never played with before and I didnt really know her.  She said (paraphrased of course, my memory isnt that awesome, lol!), my husband and I both thought you were pregnant.  But then we realized you werent.  (She had assumed I was when someone asked how I was feeling... but I had just had a major headache).  She said the Sunday before when Mike I were praying together, she saw us and it looked like we were just seeing God like we never saw Him and that He was gazing right back at us.  Then that Tuesday at the daily prayer and intercession time, God brought that moment to her mind and she and the others who were there began to intercede for us and cry out and wail to God for us to have a baby of our own. 
That was it.  It made me cry.  It was what I needed.  I dont know if she actually said God said He would give us one or not, but it gave me hope and made me realize that I have spent 2 whole years living in fear of another miscarriage.  And while those years were not wasted per say... who knows... I could have a 1 yr old in my arms right now.  I knew it was time to get rid of the fear, but it was time to worship.  And we did.  Oh man, did God just simply show up!!  It was beautiful to just worship Him in spirit and in truth... to truly enter into His presence!  AWESOME!
After the service I went up to that woman and thanked her.  She reitterated to me what she had said and then said she wanted to pray for me.
I have ALWAYS beleived God could and would heal me.  I have wanted it for so long. 
When she prayed for me, she put her hands on belly and prayed.  And for the very first time I felt something happen.
I truly beleive that I felt God working in me.  I could feel something very cold where her hands were.  After she was done praying, I could still feel it.  I seriously thought to myself, wow, her hands must be FREEZING!  So I asked her.  They werent.  They were actually kinda warm.  The cold feeling stayed with me for over an hour.

Make way world... I truly beleieve Baby Matson will be making an apperance in '11!  Lol!

Hmm... I just read this post.  Maybe I shouldnt write blog posts at 2am.  Yea... probably not.  :o)

What God is Doing Part 1

SO, no, this isnt the big announcement.

But... I wanted to take a few moments to share what God is doing.

Our house has been so stressul ever since the middle of December.  That was K & J's one year anniversayr in foster care.  A journey that should have only taken a month... not a year.  They had been told many times that after a year, the judge will not be happy with mom and will probably change their goal from going home to adoption.  We had never put time lines on things like that, but other had.  They also have a lot family members (cousins, etc) that have been in foster care and eventually adopted out.  This info has produced a lot of fear and worry for K (who is 13), which makes her irratable, disreceptful, unkind, and makes her think she has the right to do and say whatever she wants and to treat us all like dirt.

I tent to internalize things like this.  Since MIke works late, I am the one who takes the brunt of her garbage and I have to deal with the kids argueing and allt he hurt feelings she creates in the younger two.  That combined with some health issues left me battleing depression.  After MIke and I went away for a few days on our anniversary, we made some major decisions about things.  That combined with some intimate time with Jesus and the changes we had already started making have helped me climb out of that hole. 

On the church front... we have been leading worship about once a month or so.  Mike does sound every other week, and I sing backup on occasion with other leaders.  Another thing we have been doing is leading worship for the Spanish church that uses our churches building.  That has been a great thing for us... it stretches me and makes me rely more and more on God becuase I dont fully understand what is being said when the pastor speaks or someone prayers.  We have been making some amazing friendships with people at church.. as well as with old friends.  Im hoping to start going to a Bible study with some of the women at church, but its been canceled due to snow or bad roads for 3 weeks now... and this week, I was in a lot of pain and needed a morning to relax.

As far as my business... Igave it to God and asked Him to do HIs will with it and He is blessing it!!  I have had a couple shoots already this year... and some are very different than your typical family shoot.  I have done one shoot for a womens ministry's website, and am doing another one this weekend.  I also am photographing a whole womens conference in 2 weeks!  Woot Woot!  I know I will be blessed getting to hear what is being said at the conference as well as then being paid to do something I love.  Perfect!! :o)  I also just booked a wedding where I am being paid in WEBSITE!  Lol.  The groom has a web design business, so he is working on my very own site right now!  Oh, it makes me so excited! 

Behavioraly... Madi is doing much better now that we are away from all the stress of the holidays.  She still has her fits and moments, but she is improving all the time.  Emotionally, Madi is at a standstill with recognizing what emotion she is feeling beyond happy sad and mad.  But Im not pushing the issues to much... we have just been trying to remember to talk freely about what we are feeling in hopes that the dialog and communication helps her to see that its ok to talk about emotions, its ok to feel them, and to decipher the different ones.

I think thats about it for now.  I am going to leave you today with a few more pictures:

My beautiful old house.  It doesnt look so old.. but it was built in 1782!

And this is the view from my side porch.  Those words.... oh man.  God has been wispering them to me in a million ways lately!!



PICTURE TIME!

Its been SO LONG since I have posted any pics of my gorgeous girl, I thought I would treat you all to some!

These are photos from our most recent mini photo shoot. I am so blessed to have such a beautiful (and willing) model right under my roof!!

 For our 6th wedding anniversary, MIke and I went to the (cold, cold cold) beach for a few days.  It was a wonderful time away.  Mike has been learning more about photography so he can be more of a help/assistant to me.  I think he did a great job... I love this picture of me!

 He is so cute! :O)

We really had a chance to talk in a way we hadnt had in months.  To really work out some tough things we have been facing and to make some really big and difficult decisions. 

We are actually planning another trip away for a few days in March to make sure we keep those deep communications going.

And just for one more level of cutenes... Madi and her great-Grandma on Christmas day. 

School Update

I have been negleting my blog a lot. Sorry! lol! :o)

Madi is doing so well in school! This new program is perfect for her.  Its a book-based course through our local school district.  Her and I do the school work and then we go to the school once a week to make sure she is on track and to explain anythign I am having trouble explaining to her.  Its only the 4 core subjects, which leaves me free to add in Bible, music, art, gym or whatever else we want... how often we want.  They are also letting us work at our pace... so if she is having a bad week where she cant seem to get much done... its ok.  If she is having a week where she is super motivated (doesnt happen often... but hey, a momma can dream, right?) we can work ahead because we are simply following the text books.  She is motivated... and she is LOVING her teachers.  She has always loved teachers... and this program lets her be home with me, bonding with me, and yet still get the interaction and attention from other adults.

We have made a big major decision.  Im not ready to share it yet, but we do feel its God will and have been praying hardcore about it!!  Please be praying that we are able to stick with it and walk it out in the most Godly-way possible.

Great Quote

When my foster child is taunted on the schoolyard with "You don't have parents," it is spiritual warfare; delivered from a cruel world that only reinforces everything his abusers have always told him.




And when he prays to God and expresses his thanks for his foster family, it is his own battle cry; telling the world that he is loved and ...that the war . . . is about to turn.
 
 
Just read this and loved it!!!!

The Plan

So its been about 2 weeks since I posted... and since I checked the blogs I follow!! Kinda crazy around here.

But I am happy to announce we have a plan for Madi.
First of all, we are switching her schooling.  She is still going to be homeschooled, but instead of a cyber school, she will be doing something a little abnormal.  Our school district offers a cyber program through the school that involves a lot more interaction from teachers.  But.. Madi just isnt doing so well with the computer... it involves so much more than just learning the subject at hand that she gets bogged down.  So the teacher in charge of the PRIDE program (the cyber school and alternative ed) is devolping a program just for her.  Its book based and we can use the cyber school as extra help and a supplament.  I will be teaching her lessons, but it has been so much easier to let her do her work on her own!!  I am loving it!

We have also decided to join the local YMCA as a family.  This will be such a good move for us.  During the day I can go to the gym and Madi can hang out in the child area!  They also have a gym class she can take when Im excercising.  We will have pool privileges for the evening for everyone, and they have lots of classes in the evening for adults and kids.  I am looking forward to using this a lot!!!

Another thing I have been doing is having Madi read her bible while I read mine.  She sits in her room and reads it and it has given her a love of the bible in just these past 2 weeks!!  She always like to look at her bible and liked to memorize her verses, but I didnt think she would like reading it becuase it is advanced.  Well... this momma underestimated Jesus!!  She UNDERSTANDS everything she reads when she reads it.  Its awesome.  I had her start with Matthew and then let her decide.  She has decided to read the whole bible.  New Testament first. This makes me so so so so happy.  This is the kid that 2 years ago couldnt read anything.  Couldnt even spell her name!! 
Anyways... having her do this calms her more than any other activity... even other reading.  Again... Jesus!

And lastly... she is spending more time with my mom and Mike's dad to help her have other role models, to give me a break, and especially to get more of that male bonding in a healthy way with her Pap Pap.