Thursday, September 24, 2009
My Papal
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Party @ the Matsons!
This Sunday we are (finially) having our house warming party! YAY! I am so very excited to open up our home to our friends and family. Living with my mom was a learning experience and IM glad to have had it, but I missed the freedom to have friends over, to have that "open house" feeling. I missed partys and late night get togethers. So this feels like the begining of getting back into that!!
I want our house to be a welcoming place and place where people can feel safe, feel happy, and where God reigns supreme!!
As for me and my house... We will serve the Lord!!
On another note... we have decided to have "fair foods" for he party!! I got a cotton candy maker (one of my yardsale find @ $1), and Shell gave us her funnel cake maker!! So we have that, plus we are going to try mini corn dogs (homemade, of course, not the frozen nasties), caramel dip with apple slices, lemonade, popcorn, and baked french fries (my attempt to have something un-fried! lol!). I love fall and I think this will be a great way to celebrate fall funness!!!
I know, random post, but sometimes life feels so serious and crazy, I just wanted to share something fun and exciting that I am looking forward to! Yeah, really i should be cleaning right now... the living room needs vaccuumed soooo bad, but eh, it can wait! haha!! :o)
And to end this random post, here is a funny for you: Madi was upstairs watching My Fair Lady (love that movie), and I went up and sat with her for a few mins to sing a long with "Loverly". We love to sing that song together! Anyways.. she was singing and came to the part where she sings, "lots of chocolate for me to eat" and Madi suddenly stopped singing and got a thoughtful look on her face and said "Mommy, she must not be very healthy if she eats lots of chocolate, and thats not appropriate". OH MY. She is definitly turning into me!! I am always saying to her, thats not appropriate. We explained that word to her very early on becuase she had a lot of behaviors and ideas that were really bad, like she always wanted her belly to be showing and to wear short skirts and shorts (shes 8, so at this age it is definitly not ok!). So now she uses the word a lot (all in the right context, but its always so precocious and funny!). Love my little girl!!!
I want our house to be a welcoming place and place where people can feel safe, feel happy, and where God reigns supreme!!
As for me and my house... We will serve the Lord!!
On another note... we have decided to have "fair foods" for he party!! I got a cotton candy maker (one of my yardsale find @ $1), and Shell gave us her funnel cake maker!! So we have that, plus we are going to try mini corn dogs (homemade, of course, not the frozen nasties), caramel dip with apple slices, lemonade, popcorn, and baked french fries (my attempt to have something un-fried! lol!). I love fall and I think this will be a great way to celebrate fall funness!!!
I know, random post, but sometimes life feels so serious and crazy, I just wanted to share something fun and exciting that I am looking forward to! Yeah, really i should be cleaning right now... the living room needs vaccuumed soooo bad, but eh, it can wait! haha!! :o)
And to end this random post, here is a funny for you: Madi was upstairs watching My Fair Lady (love that movie), and I went up and sat with her for a few mins to sing a long with "Loverly". We love to sing that song together! Anyways.. she was singing and came to the part where she sings, "lots of chocolate for me to eat" and Madi suddenly stopped singing and got a thoughtful look on her face and said "Mommy, she must not be very healthy if she eats lots of chocolate, and thats not appropriate". OH MY. She is definitly turning into me!! I am always saying to her, thats not appropriate. We explained that word to her very early on becuase she had a lot of behaviors and ideas that were really bad, like she always wanted her belly to be showing and to wear short skirts and shorts (shes 8, so at this age it is definitly not ok!). So now she uses the word a lot (all in the right context, but its always so precocious and funny!). Love my little girl!!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
The End of an Age
He cleaned the church I grew up in for years, mowing the lawn, vacumming, clearing the communion cups, and lots of other tasks. He had an "office" and I loved going in there. The lost and found box was a treasure trove to a young girl, and he had stuff marked so that if it had ben in there for more than a certain time it would either go to the goodwill or me! :o) It was mostly little junk and trinkets, but he knew I thought it was wonderful, so he always let me riffle through it.
One thing about both my grandparents, Papal and my Mamal (Betty), they always supported my dreams... especially my dream of music. Before my Papal's disease really got a hole of his brain, he told me one day that he loved my voice. He loved the way I sang and played and that it reminded him of grandma (who taught me to play piano) and he asked me to sing at his funeral one day. I laughingly said yes, subconsiously feeling as tho my Papal was immortal, so i would never have to do it.
Hes old. He is mortal. And today Im facing his mortality in a strong way. My poor papal has gangrene and it probably has gone septic. Its the End. They are bringing in the morphone drip and the hospital bed. He cant walk anymore and is in a lot of pain. Its The End of an Age.
My grandparents have been together for ever!! I know the best sceneario is for Papal to go first, because he couldnt live without his "sweetie". But my heart breaks for my grandma and the loss that she will have to face. The end of her lifetime with her true love.
If you read this.. please pray for Pete. Pray for Betty. And pray for my family. My family has a lot of people who like to be drama queens and who seems to know just how to make life miserable for others and this isnt the time for it. Pray for peace within my family.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Madi's Mask
Im sitting here in the living room listening to Madi talk with her adoption worker and she is making a mask with her that shows how she feels on the inside and she said loved. And drew a heart and put a dot in it and said God makes her feel loved. Then added two other dots that were Mike and I and said that we make her feel loved too.
Im glad she feels loved by God. That makes me know that we are doing a good job. Even if she hadnt put us in there... just that she immedietly said I feel loved and its God who makes me feel that way, thats worth a 1000 words telling me that we are doing a good job.
Last night after Bible School, she asked us why she couldnt go cause she wants to go to bible school and learn about the bible and about Jesus. I love that!! I love that she wants to learn more about God and she is hungry for His word in her little 8 yr old way! She has a big girl bible that she cant really read very well, and she asked for a bible that she can read, so Im going to make sure I set aside a few bucks to get her an easy reader Bible soon!!
Sometimes I really feel like Im screwing up royally. I feel like I have no patience with her, that I am not teaching her anything. And that she is going to grow up to hate me and God and life becuase Im not a good mom. (Yea, Satan has been messing with my mind!) But things like this are God's way of subtly pointing out that Im doing ok. Im doing my best. I can always get better, but Im trying and praying and thats what counts!
Im glad she feels loved by God. That makes me know that we are doing a good job. Even if she hadnt put us in there... just that she immedietly said I feel loved and its God who makes me feel that way, thats worth a 1000 words telling me that we are doing a good job.
Last night after Bible School, she asked us why she couldnt go cause she wants to go to bible school and learn about the bible and about Jesus. I love that!! I love that she wants to learn more about God and she is hungry for His word in her little 8 yr old way! She has a big girl bible that she cant really read very well, and she asked for a bible that she can read, so Im going to make sure I set aside a few bucks to get her an easy reader Bible soon!!
Sometimes I really feel like Im screwing up royally. I feel like I have no patience with her, that I am not teaching her anything. And that she is going to grow up to hate me and God and life becuase Im not a good mom. (Yea, Satan has been messing with my mind!) But things like this are God's way of subtly pointing out that Im doing ok. Im doing my best. I can always get better, but Im trying and praying and thats what counts!
Battle Ground or Play Ground
Last night, I started my first Bible School class with International School of Ministry. Im really excited about this opportunity!! I can be ordained in 2.5 years, and the best part is, I will spend the next 2.5 yrs learning more of the Word, drawing closer to the Lord and learning how to be a better Worship Leader!
During our discussion time, we were talking about how the Bible and knowing scriptures can help us in our spiritual walk. One of the girls said that it helps prepare us for war, for the battles we have to face as Christians. Then she said something that stuck with me... she said that Christians need to treat this walk as a Battle Ground... not a Play Ground.
Oh my goodness... seriously, thats soooo true! I know for me, I skip around like, la de da, this is a lovely life. And, yes it is. It really is. Im blessed and I love life, but if Im being honest and not putting my baby christian blinders on, there is serious stuff out there. Now, I dont think we should be getting our panties in a bunch and going crazy with the battle stuff, but its important!! Remember that we do not battle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. This is a spiritual battle that needs to be waged in prayer and w/ scriptures!!!
Im going to try to be more aware of the battles going on around me. Im going to try to see this world through God's eyes more often, and mine less often. Father, help me to see when I need to engage in battle. Help me to be clothed in your Holy Spirit and help me to remember my armour.
During our discussion time, we were talking about how the Bible and knowing scriptures can help us in our spiritual walk. One of the girls said that it helps prepare us for war, for the battles we have to face as Christians. Then she said something that stuck with me... she said that Christians need to treat this walk as a Battle Ground... not a Play Ground.
Oh my goodness... seriously, thats soooo true! I know for me, I skip around like, la de da, this is a lovely life. And, yes it is. It really is. Im blessed and I love life, but if Im being honest and not putting my baby christian blinders on, there is serious stuff out there. Now, I dont think we should be getting our panties in a bunch and going crazy with the battle stuff, but its important!! Remember that we do not battle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers. This is a spiritual battle that needs to be waged in prayer and w/ scriptures!!!
Im going to try to be more aware of the battles going on around me. Im going to try to see this world through God's eyes more often, and mine less often. Father, help me to see when I need to engage in battle. Help me to be clothed in your Holy Spirit and help me to remember my armour.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This is For REAL!
The following is an actual post I just found on Craigslist. Seriously. I just about peed my pants when I read this!!
Date: 2009-09-16, 3:52PM EDT
Reply to: sale-fgtw8-1377716510@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I have a whole frozen turkey by Esbenshade Farms that we will not be using. I cannot find the weight of it on the package, but it has got to be at least 15-20 pounds. There is nothing wrong with it and the plastic packaging on it was never opened and it has no rips or slits or anything like that. I am hoping that someone out there can use it because I have no other options than to throw it away and I don't think my trashman will appreciate that heavy bag lol. If you can use it, you are more than welcome to come and get it. The sooner the better, too!
Thanks!!
__________________________
I feel as tho I MUST point out several "FAIL" points.
1. No rips or slits!?!
2. The trashman wont want to lift it!?! For real!? Seriously!?! You actually think your trashman will be unhappy at that 15-20lb heavy bag? Thats heavy!? Youve GOT to be kidding me! HAHAHA!
3.Why is that you have no use for a turkey? Last time I checked you can cook it and eat it! lol!! people!
4. Lastly... I guess if there is anywhere to post a free turkey that you have just sitting around in your freezer, it would have to be Craigslist.
yea. nuff said. Nite all!!
WAIT.... I just saw this and thought it was the perfect fit for the turkey above... used turkey oil!!!
Date: 2009-09-14, 8:23PM EDT
Reply to: sale-uu3gk-1374742443@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
FREE Whole frozen turkey 15-20lb (Strasburg)
Date: 2009-09-16, 3:52PM EDT
Reply to: sale-fgtw8-1377716510@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I have a whole frozen turkey by Esbenshade Farms that we will not be using. I cannot find the weight of it on the package, but it has got to be at least 15-20 pounds. There is nothing wrong with it and the plastic packaging on it was never opened and it has no rips or slits or anything like that. I am hoping that someone out there can use it because I have no other options than to throw it away and I don't think my trashman will appreciate that heavy bag lol. If you can use it, you are more than welcome to come and get it. The sooner the better, too!
Thanks!!
__________________________
I feel as tho I MUST point out several "FAIL" points.
1. No rips or slits!?!
2. The trashman wont want to lift it!?! For real!? Seriously!?! You actually think your trashman will be unhappy at that 15-20lb heavy bag? Thats heavy!? Youve GOT to be kidding me! HAHAHA!
3.Why is that you have no use for a turkey? Last time I checked you can cook it and eat it! lol!! people!
4. Lastly... I guess if there is anywhere to post a free turkey that you have just sitting around in your freezer, it would have to be Craigslist.
yea. nuff said. Nite all!!
WAIT.... I just saw this and thought it was the perfect fit for the turkey above... used turkey oil!!!
FREE Turkey Cooking Oil (Lancaster, PA)
Date: 2009-09-14, 8:23PM EDT
Reply to: sale-uu3gk-1374742443@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Selling oil used in a turkey deep fryer... call 717-***-**** for more info. thanks.
PostingID: 1374742443
- Location: Lancaster, PA
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Hot Chocolate on Cold Fall Mornings
I love hot chocolate on a cold fall morning.
The cool misty air swirling around the leaf littered ground makes everything look magically and mystical.
Sweet colors fill the landscape as trees begin their transition to winter's sleep.
My steaming mug perfuming the air with lucious smells of deep rich chocolate.
The warmth filling my belly as the cool air teases my face.
I love hot chocolate on a cold fall morning!
I really love fall! The smells, the sounds, the VIEWS! Its a gorgeous season. God is sooooo cool to give us this season! Madi-potomus (haha... she loves that nickname!) loves to play in the leaves. She cant wait until they start to fall and can be raked into large piles to jump into and run through. I love the mums, the colored leaves, and pumpkins, gourds and apples. I love hay rides, hot chocolate, APPLE CIDER, and pumpkin pies!
Well, time to walk Madi-potomus to the bus... and enjoy this crisp cool fall morning!!
The cool misty air swirling around the leaf littered ground makes everything look magically and mystical.
Sweet colors fill the landscape as trees begin their transition to winter's sleep.
My steaming mug perfuming the air with lucious smells of deep rich chocolate.
The warmth filling my belly as the cool air teases my face.
I love hot chocolate on a cold fall morning!
I really love fall! The smells, the sounds, the VIEWS! Its a gorgeous season. God is sooooo cool to give us this season! Madi-potomus (haha... she loves that nickname!) loves to play in the leaves. She cant wait until they start to fall and can be raked into large piles to jump into and run through. I love the mums, the colored leaves, and pumpkins, gourds and apples. I love hay rides, hot chocolate, APPLE CIDER, and pumpkin pies!
Well, time to walk Madi-potomus to the bus... and enjoy this crisp cool fall morning!!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Hmmm...
So, I decided to start looking for a small part time job somewhere close to home. Yea, right. Ive found NOTHING, unless I want to be a plumber or something random! I enjoy being a stay at home mommy! I cant imagine life any other way!! But finances are tight. Uncomfortably so. What to do!?
As soon as I asked that question, I heard "Trust Me". Yeah, yeah, God I get it. Im supposed to trust You.
I thinking I need a good scream. Ok, now, come on... if your a mom you know what IM talking about!!!! I used to indulge in a good scream every once in awhile, but since having problems with my voice this past winter, I havent done it, becuase I feel it for a day or two afterwards. Its 2:22 and Im up trying to figure out how everything is going to get paid this month. And how we are still going to have some fun with Madi!?
Hmmm, what to do?!? I am still going to keep looking for a job and keep on trusting the Lord to provide either the job or the money! lol!
As soon as I asked that question, I heard "Trust Me". Yeah, yeah, God I get it. Im supposed to trust You.
I thinking I need a good scream. Ok, now, come on... if your a mom you know what IM talking about!!!! I used to indulge in a good scream every once in awhile, but since having problems with my voice this past winter, I havent done it, becuase I feel it for a day or two afterwards. Its 2:22 and Im up trying to figure out how everything is going to get paid this month. And how we are still going to have some fun with Madi!?
Hmmm, what to do?!? I am still going to keep looking for a job and keep on trusting the Lord to provide either the job or the money! lol!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
HOPE Does Not Disapoint
I was thinking about Mike and I's life verse, the verse which has been there to comfort us through everything storm, the lighthouse in the midst of the rolling waves and gales and winds, and boat-wrecking hurricanes. I havent thought too much about this verse lately, but its come back to me in the last few days.
Romans 5:3-5 says: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Sufferings- I think we have had our fair share... infertility, miscarriages, children we have fostered and loved going home... so CHECK.. lol!
That leads Perseverance- we have been going this fertility rollar coaster for 3 years and counting... I think we have stayed true to the course... stayed true to the Lord and His calling for our lives. So another check!
So then we come to character. My first thought was, yea, Mike and I are definitly characters... but somehow, I dont think thats what this is talking about! Haha! But the dictionary says it has more to do with the integrity of a person, or the honesty and courage they display. Or someones reputation, or even the capacity or status one can hold or fufull. This is tough, but I think the Lord has really worked in our lives and brought these things to fruition. All these trials we have gone through have made us braver and more honest. I think the way we have perservered has given us a reputation as a family of faith. So I guess thats a check too!
And all that leads us to HOPE. We have it. We are hoping for more little ones to adopt. We are hoping for that baby to be carried to full term in my womb. We are hoping for the blessings needed to take in more kids. And I know God will provide! I know He will!! Hope is believing, desiring, and trusting. That us!! We beleive in the Lord and what He says He will do, in who He says He is, and all He has done! We desire for the Lord's Will. We desire to have His heart! And We are trusting. We have been trusting and will continue to!! So we have HOPE! :o) CHEEEECCCKK!
And becuase God loves us and has sent His Spirit, Hope will not disapoint. So Im not going to be disapointed. I have my eyes fixed on Jesus and I will keep them that way! :o)
Where are you in this "map" of life? I think we all fall in one of these areas for something we are going through. allow the Lord to help you through your Journey. Allow His mighty hand to guide you.. even carry you through whatever you are going through, and remember..... HOPE DOES NOT DISAPOINT!!!!!
Romans 5:3-5 says: Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Sufferings- I think we have had our fair share... infertility, miscarriages, children we have fostered and loved going home... so CHECK.. lol!
That leads Perseverance- we have been going this fertility rollar coaster for 3 years and counting... I think we have stayed true to the course... stayed true to the Lord and His calling for our lives. So another check!
So then we come to character. My first thought was, yea, Mike and I are definitly characters... but somehow, I dont think thats what this is talking about! Haha! But the dictionary says it has more to do with the integrity of a person, or the honesty and courage they display. Or someones reputation, or even the capacity or status one can hold or fufull. This is tough, but I think the Lord has really worked in our lives and brought these things to fruition. All these trials we have gone through have made us braver and more honest. I think the way we have perservered has given us a reputation as a family of faith. So I guess thats a check too!
And all that leads us to HOPE. We have it. We are hoping for more little ones to adopt. We are hoping for that baby to be carried to full term in my womb. We are hoping for the blessings needed to take in more kids. And I know God will provide! I know He will!! Hope is believing, desiring, and trusting. That us!! We beleive in the Lord and what He says He will do, in who He says He is, and all He has done! We desire for the Lord's Will. We desire to have His heart! And We are trusting. We have been trusting and will continue to!! So we have HOPE! :o) CHEEEECCCKK!
And becuase God loves us and has sent His Spirit, Hope will not disapoint. So Im not going to be disapointed. I have my eyes fixed on Jesus and I will keep them that way! :o)
Where are you in this "map" of life? I think we all fall in one of these areas for something we are going through. allow the Lord to help you through your Journey. Allow His mighty hand to guide you.. even carry you through whatever you are going through, and remember..... HOPE DOES NOT DISAPOINT!!!!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Stinkin Empty House
Every morning, Monday through Friday, I go through kid withdrawal. Empty Nest Syndrome this early?? I love it when 3:44 comes back around every afternoon. I say to Tink (the dog), Tink, wanna go get Madi? Lets go to the bus! And she wags her tail, stretches and goes right over to where her leash hangs waiting for her. She prances all the way to the bus stop, not stopping along the way, wanting to get to her Madi as bad as I do.
I know, Im weird. And yes, I love naps, and I do love having some time to my self, but geez, 7 hours!? Im bored after hour 3. I think I'd be a happy mom if Madi could go to half day kindergarden till she graduates! Haha.
So today, well, yesterday now, I got up, put Madi on the bus, did my laundry, cleaned and was bored, so I took a nap. A LOOONG nap. Too long. Now Im up. Its 1:20 in the morning and IM up. Sigh. Hiss. BOO!
I need to pray for our next kid/kids. I want them to come soon. Can I tell you what Im hoping for? A sibling group. 2 girls, a toddler and an older girl Madi's age. But in reality, I'd take anyone!! Our house feels empty. The extra room has a closed door, and every time I go in there it feels so empty and sad. Even Madi's room feels a bit empty. She told me the other day her stuffed animals want a sister becuase she cant sleep with all of them at once and she tries to rotate so she doesnt hurt their feelings, but cant get to all of them. Her little heart needs a sister... a best friend.
The baby we recently had, Baby N, really helped us feel less empty. It helped us feel more like a family. Madi considered Baby N her best friend and her sister, even though she was only with us for a month. We are just waiting and praying for our next sister to come.
Lord please let her, no, let THEM come!!
I know, Im weird. And yes, I love naps, and I do love having some time to my self, but geez, 7 hours!? Im bored after hour 3. I think I'd be a happy mom if Madi could go to half day kindergarden till she graduates! Haha.
So today, well, yesterday now, I got up, put Madi on the bus, did my laundry, cleaned and was bored, so I took a nap. A LOOONG nap. Too long. Now Im up. Its 1:20 in the morning and IM up. Sigh. Hiss. BOO!
I need to pray for our next kid/kids. I want them to come soon. Can I tell you what Im hoping for? A sibling group. 2 girls, a toddler and an older girl Madi's age. But in reality, I'd take anyone!! Our house feels empty. The extra room has a closed door, and every time I go in there it feels so empty and sad. Even Madi's room feels a bit empty. She told me the other day her stuffed animals want a sister becuase she cant sleep with all of them at once and she tries to rotate so she doesnt hurt their feelings, but cant get to all of them. Her little heart needs a sister... a best friend.
The baby we recently had, Baby N, really helped us feel less empty. It helped us feel more like a family. Madi considered Baby N her best friend and her sister, even though she was only with us for a month. We are just waiting and praying for our next sister to come.
Lord please let her, no, let THEM come!!
Excercising Our Faith
Not having the money to do the things you wish you could do is difficult. Espcially when you want to do things to help others, especially when you want to help children. Orphans.
Mike and I have the space for all these kids, but we are missing a few things and I have decided to put it out there. We have been praying very hard for a while for these things, and maybe you can help.
We need some beds! Madi has a bed and we have a crib, but we could use one or two sets of bunk beds, or some twin bed frames. Also some twin mattresses and box springs. We could use some dressers too.
Our biggest need... and I have to admit... this is a huge one, is a van. Right now we have one car, so we can only take 2 kids becuase thats all that would fit! Im just beleiveing for the ability to rescue more kids... to increase our family with kids who need us the most, and right now, this one car situation is holding us back. God has it all figured out, Im sure, I just wish He would let us know! I know a van given to us is HUGE, but really, not to God. God has cattle on a thousand hills... meaning, He is richer than rich.
This all came to reality today when I got a phone call to do a respite for a child, but I had to say no, becuase they needed someone to pick the child up. All her case workers were busy and Mike had taken the car to work, so I had to turn this child down. Thats a tough place to be in. I wish I could have helped, but I have to trust Him that this child was meant to go to another home. Im just hoping and praying and beleiving that the Lord will bless us so that we can bless these children!!!!!
So Im extending my faith out there and trusting God to provide for this area in which He has called us and ia leading us.
If any of you have some scriptures that will increase our faith that we can claim... send them!! We have been trying to pray scripturally!!
Mike and I have the space for all these kids, but we are missing a few things and I have decided to put it out there. We have been praying very hard for a while for these things, and maybe you can help.
We need some beds! Madi has a bed and we have a crib, but we could use one or two sets of bunk beds, or some twin bed frames. Also some twin mattresses and box springs. We could use some dressers too.
Our biggest need... and I have to admit... this is a huge one, is a van. Right now we have one car, so we can only take 2 kids becuase thats all that would fit! Im just beleiveing for the ability to rescue more kids... to increase our family with kids who need us the most, and right now, this one car situation is holding us back. God has it all figured out, Im sure, I just wish He would let us know! I know a van given to us is HUGE, but really, not to God. God has cattle on a thousand hills... meaning, He is richer than rich.
This all came to reality today when I got a phone call to do a respite for a child, but I had to say no, becuase they needed someone to pick the child up. All her case workers were busy and Mike had taken the car to work, so I had to turn this child down. Thats a tough place to be in. I wish I could have helped, but I have to trust Him that this child was meant to go to another home. Im just hoping and praying and beleiving that the Lord will bless us so that we can bless these children!!!!!
So Im extending my faith out there and trusting God to provide for this area in which He has called us and ia leading us.
If any of you have some scriptures that will increase our faith that we can claim... send them!! We have been trying to pray scripturally!!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
30 Things You DIDNT know about my illnesses!
1. The illness I live with is: PCOS, Insulin Resistance, & Rhuematoid Arthritis (and because of the PCOS, infertility).
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: PCOS in 1998-ish and I.R. in 2006 and RA in 2009
3. But I had symptoms since: PCOS, since puberty started... im not sure with the IR and RA for at least a year now... but probably if I was honest and really thought about it, 2 or 3 yrs.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: food choices with the IR and recently with RA has been my dependence on meds to help me sleep and then make it through the day. And knowing that somedays I can be super mom. That some days I just need to focus on getting out of bed and getting my daughter to school.
5. Most people assume: that I am this weight becuase Im lazy and dont exercise. Its sooo not true... I enjoy exercising and going to the gym and playing TAG with Madi (who is a super runner), taking walks with the dogs and being active!! I love to swim and hike and go outside or even stay inside and play wii or hide and go seek.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: ugh, getting the stiffness out!! i wake up and feel like my back and shoulders are frozen and I cant really accomplish anything until i work the stiffness out.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: I LOVED Er. So sad. But I also love Grey's, Private Practice and Scrubs.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my phone. all my appointments, and my life are on my phone!
9. The hardest part about nights are: thats a tie between three things... falling asleep (always tough) the leg cramps (they wake me up at least 2xs every night) and tossing and turning and waking up every hour (happens at least 2xs a week.)
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. 3-5 Im not a pill kinda person and I try to getmy vitamins through foods and other sources.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: am wiling to research anything and try very few. If they cost a lot of money, I know its probably bogus. But I do use cinnamon daily for the IR and other anit-inflammatory foods to combat the RA.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible. As hard as it is living with this stuff and people not knowing and making assumptions about me and not knowing what im going through, if i had lost a limb or had a visible facial deformaty, life would be so much more difficult. The weight gain and facial hair and black lines around my neck and knuckles are hard enough for me to have "out there".
13. Regarding working and career: My kids are my work. My career is a combo between being a mom, a wife and a worship director. My path is the Lords and IM walking for Him. If He wants me to do something He will equip me!
14. People would be surprised to know: that I am not as confident as I seem. I think about what other people might think too much. I almost always go over a conversation after its over to think about what I said.. Im always afraid of saying something stupid or hurting someone becuase I have a tendency to not employ my filter enough.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: KNowing that I will probably never concieve and carry a child to term without some serious medical intervention. And the reality that somedyas I cant actually go to the gym, cant play tag with Madi, or even can't make dinner.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: lose weight. I still have a long way to go, but i have lost significant weight over the last 4 years.
17. The commercials about my illness: are dumb. Well, the ones for RA. Ok, seriously, have you listened to the side effects for these drugs!? Scary.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: nothing. so far. oh, ok, maybe i miss my coke slushies. but i still indulge somteims. But ive been really blessed that i have been abe to keep up my activity level... maybe not every day, but i can still do the things i like most days! One thing I miss doing tho is riding my bike with Madi... i really regret it every time i do it becuase of the pain my hips afterwards.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: coke slushies. coke. cheesecake. (but i still treat myself to those things)
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: ive gotten more into photography and editing since this whole thing started. the idea of capturing memories in case life is different later and im not able to get on the ground and photograph a bug or my child has made me want to do it more now.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: clean my whole house, go bike riding with Madi, take a hike, and sky dive.
22. My illness has taught me: to respect others who seem "lazy". You never know if they deal with chronic fatigue or pain or whatever!
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Oh, if you need ANYTHING let me know. Its HARD to ask for help. Instead, ask me, can I make your family dinner tonight? Or Id like to come and help you clean. Or I can take Madi for a few hours so you can have some time. Be specific in the ways you can help. And dont offer if you dont mean it. Thats the worst!
24. But I love it when people: just come over and hang out with me. Not expecting anything. Or when people bring dinner. I LOVE to cook, but usually by the end of the day, its hard to stand in the kitchen for a long time.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: Romans 5:3-5
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: its ok! There is HOPE! And Im here if you need anything. Can I bring you and your family dinner?
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: the lack of empathy and sympathy from friends. The lack of people offerng to help or asking if Im ok. Especially from my church family... its as if knowing someone with an illness is a burden to them!
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: took Madison out to the park and fed her so i could rest.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: its important. I feel so alone in this sometimes. I dont know anyone with this stuff in "real life", so its important to get the word out! And I want people to understand what Im going through without pity and being someone charity case!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like you care. Thank you. This has been a hard journey and I feel so often that people just have no clue. Its my fault though.. I like to pretend im perfectly fine!!
Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: PCOS in 1998-ish and I.R. in 2006 and RA in 2009
3. But I had symptoms since: PCOS, since puberty started... im not sure with the IR and RA for at least a year now... but probably if I was honest and really thought about it, 2 or 3 yrs.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: food choices with the IR and recently with RA has been my dependence on meds to help me sleep and then make it through the day. And knowing that somedays I can be super mom. That some days I just need to focus on getting out of bed and getting my daughter to school.
5. Most people assume: that I am this weight becuase Im lazy and dont exercise. Its sooo not true... I enjoy exercising and going to the gym and playing TAG with Madi (who is a super runner), taking walks with the dogs and being active!! I love to swim and hike and go outside or even stay inside and play wii or hide and go seek.
6. The hardest part about mornings are: ugh, getting the stiffness out!! i wake up and feel like my back and shoulders are frozen and I cant really accomplish anything until i work the stiffness out.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: I LOVED Er. So sad. But I also love Grey's, Private Practice and Scrubs.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my phone. all my appointments, and my life are on my phone!
9. The hardest part about nights are: thats a tie between three things... falling asleep (always tough) the leg cramps (they wake me up at least 2xs every night) and tossing and turning and waking up every hour (happens at least 2xs a week.)
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. 3-5 Im not a pill kinda person and I try to getmy vitamins through foods and other sources.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: am wiling to research anything and try very few. If they cost a lot of money, I know its probably bogus. But I do use cinnamon daily for the IR and other anit-inflammatory foods to combat the RA.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible. As hard as it is living with this stuff and people not knowing and making assumptions about me and not knowing what im going through, if i had lost a limb or had a visible facial deformaty, life would be so much more difficult. The weight gain and facial hair and black lines around my neck and knuckles are hard enough for me to have "out there".
13. Regarding working and career: My kids are my work. My career is a combo between being a mom, a wife and a worship director. My path is the Lords and IM walking for Him. If He wants me to do something He will equip me!
14. People would be surprised to know: that I am not as confident as I seem. I think about what other people might think too much. I almost always go over a conversation after its over to think about what I said.. Im always afraid of saying something stupid or hurting someone becuase I have a tendency to not employ my filter enough.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: KNowing that I will probably never concieve and carry a child to term without some serious medical intervention. And the reality that somedyas I cant actually go to the gym, cant play tag with Madi, or even can't make dinner.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: lose weight. I still have a long way to go, but i have lost significant weight over the last 4 years.
17. The commercials about my illness: are dumb. Well, the ones for RA. Ok, seriously, have you listened to the side effects for these drugs!? Scary.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: nothing. so far. oh, ok, maybe i miss my coke slushies. but i still indulge somteims. But ive been really blessed that i have been abe to keep up my activity level... maybe not every day, but i can still do the things i like most days! One thing I miss doing tho is riding my bike with Madi... i really regret it every time i do it becuase of the pain my hips afterwards.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: coke slushies. coke. cheesecake. (but i still treat myself to those things)
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: ive gotten more into photography and editing since this whole thing started. the idea of capturing memories in case life is different later and im not able to get on the ground and photograph a bug or my child has made me want to do it more now.
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: clean my whole house, go bike riding with Madi, take a hike, and sky dive.
22. My illness has taught me: to respect others who seem "lazy". You never know if they deal with chronic fatigue or pain or whatever!
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Oh, if you need ANYTHING let me know. Its HARD to ask for help. Instead, ask me, can I make your family dinner tonight? Or Id like to come and help you clean. Or I can take Madi for a few hours so you can have some time. Be specific in the ways you can help. And dont offer if you dont mean it. Thats the worst!
24. But I love it when people: just come over and hang out with me. Not expecting anything. Or when people bring dinner. I LOVE to cook, but usually by the end of the day, its hard to stand in the kitchen for a long time.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: Romans 5:3-5
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: its ok! There is HOPE! And Im here if you need anything. Can I bring you and your family dinner?
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: the lack of empathy and sympathy from friends. The lack of people offerng to help or asking if Im ok. Especially from my church family... its as if knowing someone with an illness is a burden to them!
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: took Madison out to the park and fed her so i could rest.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: its important. I feel so alone in this sometimes. I dont know anyone with this stuff in "real life", so its important to get the word out! And I want people to understand what Im going through without pity and being someone charity case!
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: like you care. Thank you. This has been a hard journey and I feel so often that people just have no clue. Its my fault though.. I like to pretend im perfectly fine!!
Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and the 5-day free virtual conference with 20 speakers Sept 14-18, 2009 at www.invisibleillness.com
Congratulations Anyways.
Its very difficult to hear that a long time friend is pregnant. But that difficulty fades and a happiness for the lucky couple replaces those long held feelings of inadecuacy, guilt, shame, and grief. Thats where I am with an old friend.
Sure, I still want my own pregnancy, my own baby shower, my own delivery day. Sure I still wish for a daughter with Mike's ears and my mouth. My chin and his eyes. Sure, there are days when pregnant women depress me, but Im learning. Im learning to deal with it. Im learning to be happy in my own skin. Happy with the daughter that was born in my heart. Im learning to be happy with my tiny family of three, instead of the family of 6 I always hoped for. Still hope for. I can actually find happiness in someone elses good news. I can actually smile and sigh over baby things with someone else without my heart breaking. Im moving on and moving ahead with my eyes on Jesus. I can be happy easily these days!!
So, congratulations old friend. Im sorry we arent current friends. Im sorry you felt you couldnt allow me to join in your happiness. But congratulations.
Sure, I still want my own pregnancy, my own baby shower, my own delivery day. Sure I still wish for a daughter with Mike's ears and my mouth. My chin and his eyes. Sure, there are days when pregnant women depress me, but Im learning. Im learning to deal with it. Im learning to be happy in my own skin. Happy with the daughter that was born in my heart. Im learning to be happy with my tiny family of three, instead of the family of 6 I always hoped for. Still hope for. I can actually find happiness in someone elses good news. I can actually smile and sigh over baby things with someone else without my heart breaking. Im moving on and moving ahead with my eyes on Jesus. I can be happy easily these days!!
So, congratulations old friend. Im sorry we arent current friends. Im sorry you felt you couldnt allow me to join in your happiness. But congratulations.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Our tent is big... Bring it on!!!
Isaiah 54: 1-4
(The Message)
"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!" Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations; you're going to resettle abandoned cities. Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short."
We have a three bedroom house (so 2 for the kids) and each bedroom is allowed to hold 4 kids (foster kid rules). LORD, I have increased my tents... my tent is big, so send the kids please Lord!! We have the space and love to help 7 more kids (dont know that I want that many, but if you want us to have that many, BRING IT ON GOD). Give us a QUIVER full please!
(The Message)
"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!" Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations; you're going to resettle abandoned cities. Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short."
We have a three bedroom house (so 2 for the kids) and each bedroom is allowed to hold 4 kids (foster kid rules). LORD, I have increased my tents... my tent is big, so send the kids please Lord!! We have the space and love to help 7 more kids (dont know that I want that many, but if you want us to have that many, BRING IT ON GOD). Give us a QUIVER full please!
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