Ahhh.... (thats my sigh of contentment!)

Our trip.... one word.... AHHHHHHHHmazing!
Ha!
It was so relaxing.  Big shower, gorgeous king sized bed, a room with more windows than walls, and a birds  eye view of the ocean... what more could I want?  I adore the ocean... I could truly live there and be so content.  The smell of the salty tangy air, the feel of the ocean spray coming off the pier, the pillowy sand under your feet, the cry of silly seagulls, all of it makes me feel so at home (even when its cold!!) and so peaceful!  I love to walk beside Mike talking, being silent, looking for the best seashells, watching for interesting birds, and admiring God's creation.  Some times it feels like the Lord made that beach, that day, that sunswept spot on earth just for us to enjoy.  I love the feeling of contentment that washes over, like the waves wash over rocks in the tidepools... I always leave the beach feeling for refreshed and wonderful... its no wonder I always want to go back. 

I think the Lord made me to live near water.  I love it!! :o)

On another note, if your a parent of a kid with an attachtment disorder, you will understand this... my Madi was actually SAD to see us leave, and soooo EXCITED when we came home!!  I cried.  Yup... I did.  For those of you without a kid like Madi, this makes no sense... this is how your kid is always.  Not mine!  This past year and half, whenever we have gone away, Madi just happily waved bye, and went on with her business.  When we cam home, she was like, Hi, and back to her playing.  Becuase of her attachtment disorder, she wasnt bonded with us in a real tangible heartfelt way.  But... things have been changing in her lately.  The true bonds of love have been forming in her and I think God has been doing a lot of healing in her little heart and life too!! She was very anxious all day Saturday and SUnday morning before we left and kept saying, Im glad Mimi is coming, but I dont want you to leave!  When it was time to go, she just clung to me.. and she is soo hyper all the time, she never just clings or rests in your arms, and thats exactly what she did!!!  And when we came back, she ran to the door and held on to me so tight and for the first time EVER, she said "Mommy, I missed you!!!!!!"  Ahhhh... that makes this momma's heart sing!!

Praise the ONE who does all these

things,

just to please His kids!!

Well, I think thats all for now... computer is still not fixed, but is at the shop.  Oh... and now Mikes car needs a new water pump... but Thank God again that He provides and puts people in our lives that can fix water pumps for next to nothing!!

Going away....

Im so excited for our trip tomorrow!!  Mike suprised me with yesterday by taking yesterday and today off!!  Its so nice to spend a saturday morning with him and the kids...I know the girls really liked it!
Yesterday, he brought me chocolate covered strawberries from Gertrude Hawk (YUM!) and pink calla lilies, and a gorgeous card!!  Then we went to Shady Maple for lunch and then down to the gift shop where I picked out a beautiful wall hanging for our bedroom!  It was such a wonderful day to spend with my best friend!
The computer is officially being fixed... and will be down when we get back... so i will be posting LOTS of pictures from Christmas, and Madison's adoption!!  Cant wait! :o)

Have an amazing day! :o)

(Yes, Im at the library again... haha... my kids love to read, so we are here a lot anyways!! :o)

Happy Anniversary!

Just wanted to say:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

To the best husband ever! 

You have done sooo much to make this day, this week, this month, this year, and these past 5 years the most special wonderful time of my life... you rock!

On Sunday, Mike and I head out for 3 days!  We are going to the beach.  IN the Winter.  YUP! :o) 

Atlantic City has some GREAT hotel deals and very cool shows during the winter, so we are heading there, and I am deteremined to get him on the beach for a walk at least once while we are there!
Mike planned all this for me and I have had to do nothing by pack my bags!

And he has been bringing me suprises for the past 2 weeks!  He said I have a suprise coming today... and I cant wait to see what it is!  He is truly the best man for me!

I love you more today than ever before.. and I am sooooo blessed God has let me share life with you.  You are the best!!!

BIG NEWS!

Do any of you remember when I said Mike and I will have some big news soon?  Well, its time to reveal it!  (Ok, so dont get your hopes toooo HIGH, its probably just big for us!)

We have OFFICIALLY been released from music ministry at New Millenium World Outreach (the church we have been serving at for a year and a half).  We are super excited to begin this new chapter of our lives and we have NOOO idea what the Lord has in store for us!  We beleive new and awesome things are on the horizon and we can't wait!  New year, New season!! :o)

We have both learned so much and matured in so many ways during our time there.  I am sooo much more confident in the abilites God has given me, and I think I have vastly improved as a pianist and a vocalist, and I KNOW Mike's skills on the drums have come a long way.  To think... he wouldnt ever ever play the drum set... only the djembe or congas or other auxilliary percussion stuff, and now he gladly plays the whole set and plays it WELL!  Im so proud of him... he actually told me he was thinking of learning to play the bass too!!  Thats huge for Mike who a guy who used to only be comfortable behind the soundboard!  And I think this time allowed Mike and I to grow closer as a ministry team!  When we started, I was still giving him hand signals when I wanted to end or go to the chorus or whatever, now, he just knows!  He and I have learned each others moves and styles so well, he knows where Im going!  And I can just glance over at him and know if he has a word from the Lord, or if he is sensing its time to stop, or play again, or for me to say something.  The Lord has strengthened that part of our communication so strongly... its awesome!

So, we are prayfully starting the process of finding a new church.  And I am content to sit in the seats, work in the nursery, sing, or any other volunteer work if thats what the Lord leads... and I am also just as content to find a position somewhere as the music chick (haha) is thats where He leads!  :o)

Its a new season,

Its a new day,

Fresh annoiting,

Is flowing my way.

Its a season of power,

Of prosperity.

Its a new season,

And its coming me to me!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!! :o)

Thank You Jesus for Public Libraries!

Well.  Here we are... over a month with no computer.  Poo.  Its such a simple fix... but we have not had the free time during the day at all to get it to our friends shop!  Hopefully this week... ha.  :o)

I did find our local public library and their free internet tho! :o)  LOVEing that right now... :o)

There has been so much in my mind to share... things God is showing us... quotes and thoughts about those quotes... happenings with the kids... and just my own ramblings too, but I'm here and mind is blank! (no comments on that please... hehe).

Well, I got Jay and Kiki in to counseling... so Im hoping that will help both of them in the different areas they need.  Jay just needs a chance to talk... shes 8, so a lot of the time Kiki (12) keeps her quiet, or puts her down so much she shuts down.  She also has a lot of abnormal fears... probably from past experiences.  And there is a possibilty of some form of abuse in her past.  So we think that just giving her an hour a week to just talk all she wants to and say whatever she wants to will help her tremendously.
Kiki... well, thats another story.  She sat and stared in silence for 20 mins during her intake appt.  I have a feeling she will be sitting silently for the whole hour at her first counseling session on friday. She needs to learn how to express her feelings appropriatly tho.  She either just completely shuts down and wont speak or she will get very angry when she has an emotion she doesnt want to feel.  I think she has a lot of hurt inside... and anger, fear, resentment, and who knows what else, but the big one is HURT.

We also signed up all 3 girls for ballet... and OH MY, I have an AMAZING story of God's provision on that to share when I have more time... Kiki started on Monday and LOVED it!!! She did soooo well, I was seriously impressed... she did better than some of the kids that have been doing it for a year!  Madi and Jay start on Thursday, and they are so excited... they got ballet books out of the library and have been practicing positions and plies and rondes and relleves (dont laugh at my spelling) all week!! 
Madi also will be starting gymnastics tonight!  She is always running around and trying to do summersaults and tumbling things, so this will be PERFECT for her!
Kiki is going to do soccer this summer and starts conditioning for it very soon... so we will have a super busy schedule, but as long as all three keep their grades up... it will be ok!
We have discovered that little Jay has an AMAZING voice!  The kid is good!  So, her activity will be piano and voice lessons... with me! :o)  I cant wait to get that started!  I think she will do very very well!
It seems all I have been doing is taxi-ing the kids to all their appts.  When kids come into foster care, they have to get physicals and dental exams and evals for counseling, and eye exams and inevitably, they all need somethign extra!  Like Kiki... at her dental we discovered she has a partial tooth that was decayed and broke off and now is lodged in her gums!  So she has to have surgery to have it removed!  Jay has a TON of cavities to get filled, and Madi has her appt to get her second surgery scheduledon her mouth to removed the rest of her damaged teeth.  When Madi first came to live with us, she had 7 teeth removed becuase they were too far gone to save.  Now she has at least 3 more to be removed, and probably 2 to cap.  She already has huge gaps in her mouth where the first set was pulled, so she may even have to see an orthodontist to start braces super early (sigh).
Anyways... thats the life of a foster mom, I suppose!  Oh well... it gives me extra one-on-one time with each kid as we drive all over the county to all these appointments!

Still no puter..

Yea.  Its still not working.. but my amazing husband DOES know how to fix it... hopefully on Monday we will have time to run it to a friends shop who has the proper cords. 
Things with the girls are going well... had an "incident" today between the young ones that really set me on edge and had some fear gripping me.  I really let the fear get to me and had a miserable day... then Mike got home and said I can go if I want, nap if I need, or stay... whatever will make me feel better and help me through this.  So, I decided to go get milk and then stop at the church to finish printing my music for tomorrow morning.
I have been sitting her for over an hour not doing any "work"... just soaking in some Jesus.  I have some worship music on and Im relaxing and just remembering

*HE commands the winds and the waves*

*HE makes the storms come and go*

*HE sits on the throne*

*HE reigns forever*

AND HE has not given me a spirit of fear!!

SO I am rising up in Him and casting my fears and cares and problems on Him.

He is my ROCK

REDEEMER

SHELTER

PROMISE

REASON

EVERYTHING!!!

I feel so incredibly blessed to have Mike as my partner.  I realized today that being a foster parent is most certainly the hardest job I could ever choose to do... but becuase my God is carrying me through and my husband is by my side being so supportive, I can do this.  I can make it through.  And it IS worth it!  The redemption of orphans is WORTH it.  Forever and always.... it is worth it. 

There are days when I want to quit.  Days when I hear myself say "Dana, you have your kid... you adopted Madi, you can be done now.  You have won your "Good Deed" award for you whole lifetime.  You can stop now"... but when I silence that voice and listen to God's... He is saying "Baby girl, you have done an amazing thing in obeying Me this far, but will you do even more amazing things by CONTINUING to obey Me?  Will you and your family continue the redemptive work of my precious children, the ones that are the least of these?  Will YOU finish the race strong and happy?"

And even after a day like today... I can only say "YES, Jesus, YES!"

May my life be an offering, poured out to only you.

May my life be a light, shining only for you.

May my life be lived well, only for you.

Any of it, for you.

The good and bad, for you.

Whats first, whats last, for you

All of it, for you.

Only, Always, Forever,

FOR YOU!

(Dana Matson- from a song I'm writing)

Puter= Still Dead

Sigh, my puter is still dead.  SADFACE!  I know God is our provider, so He will work it out, but I would really like my puter back.  Mike said he can fix it, but he needs a special cord to do it, or take it somewhere an pay someone to much money to do what he can do it. 
We also need to buy a van.  We were really hoping to buy it out right and not have car payments, but it doesnt seem to be the way we are supposed to go.  SOOO as soon as we get some time (haha... thats the biggest obstacle we have been facing lately... lack of time), we are going to go van shopping. 
The girls, Kiki and Jay are still with us and adjusting well.  We had JoJo (their brother.. and thats their nickname for him, haha) from Wed until Monday, and then Wed evening for a few hours, and then he came Thursday night again, and he wont leave again until Monday evening!! With all 4 kids, there is a LOT of drama and attitudes and its driving us nuts, but his new family had a trip already planned for this weekend and needed a place for him.  So we said yes.  The nice thing is, the girls will be able to walk up to see him if they want to and he will come to our house some days after school for a few mins until his foster dad is off work.  Its great having another foster fam within walking distance!!
We are still hoping a praying Bubba comes back.  If Dee Dee can tell the abuse specialist all that she has told us and her new family, they will pull Bubba from his birth parents fast.  So we are praying for her tongue to be loosed for her not to have any fear and for the truth to just pour from her mouth!!!  I really miss Bubba.  I think I was actually dealing with a bit of depression last week.  I havent ever really felt like that... I could get happy, and I didnt want to do anything at all.  I think it really had to do with the helplessness associated with Bubba going back to an abusive home!!  And just missing my little guy.  I prayed a lot and really feel like IM past it with Jesus carrying me. 
Madi and KiKi start school tomorrow, and Jay should start on Tuesday.  She will be in the same school as Madi, but not all of her paperwork was transferred in time.  Im looking foward to them starting school.  THey are starting to get stir-crazy and are driving me nuts! haha! :o)
Our Christmas was very nice and the kids got lots of great things!  The girls still need a lot of clothing, they only had a few pairs of pants and shirts, but they got lots of toys and girly things, like hair ties, jewelry, perfume, and other fun things (thats such a blessing to them!).  We spent News Years Eve at a friends house and it was so nice to be with people our age who love the Lord.  Our kids where the only kids there, but we took the wii and coloring stuff, so they did pretty good. 
Well, I think thats it for an update!  Course, theres lots more to tell, but I better go, the natives are getting hungry!!  Hoping Mike can get the puter fixed soon, so I can post whats been on my mind, not just the basics!!
Hope everyone had an awesome Holiday week!  I know Jesus was lifted up in our house... it was nice to teach the kids the reason for the season!!!